OK, I'm losing it.

Re: OK, I'm losing it.

• Mrs.McIrish member

  January 2013

  Hugs. This process can be very difficult and not as easy as REs make it out to be. Don't hide your feelings. It doesn't help anyone. As for the clause, if the donor objects to it, put it back in and call it a day if you can live with the clause. From a donor's perspective, I can understand that they may not want 10 genetic babies with 10 families out there. And if you hate the pill, just wait for lupron:-) it is the devil!

  TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
  DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
  5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
  OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
  DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
  DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
  CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
  DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

  DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
  First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
  
  K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
  

  
  

  SAIF/PAIF Welcome

  
  

  http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

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• luvboston member

  January 2013

  I agree with PP

  I totally get going crazy sometimes the stress just gets to much and add to that hormones and there is super storm sandy. It will all work out in the end. 

  6 m/c
  Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010

  Natural cycle Dec 2010 BFP M/C 6 1/2 Weeks, D&E Jan 2011
  1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
  Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
  1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
  Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks

  DQ ALPHA HLA MATCH, High NK Cells Diagnosed Dec 2011
  IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
  IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
  Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
  Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone) 
  Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure

  Nov/Dec 2012 LIT Treatment

  Dec 12 Humira
  Jan 2013 BFP
  Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
  Miracle Born August 2013 Premature
  
  Yours doesn't have to be a sad story
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  

  
  

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• PrettyAccountant member

  January 2013

  Oh Sweetie - I am sorry you are so stressed out. I can totally understand why you would have gone berserk. Here you are about to start on the next leg of your journey and a stupid little clause is endangering that. I would suggest taking a little time to think about it and talk to DH to see if you both can agree. Is the donor requesting that the clause be in there? or is it a case of the lawyers throw it in until someone objects and then they can remove it?

  I am sorry - I hope things clear up quickly and you get to move forward.
  

  TTC 1/2010 DH Dx - Azoospermia 2/2011
  Hysteroscopy 3/2011 2 Polyps removed 4/2011
  DH on Clomid / Arimidex to address hormonal issues - Sperm found July 2011!
  IVF #1 September 2011 - ER 9/8/2011- 8R, 5M - icsi - 1 made it to transfer - BFFN :-(
  IVF #2 Lucky November 2011 - ER 11/25/2011 - 15 eggs!, 13 mature, 10 fertilized with isci - 7 made it to transfer! Transferred 1 - 8 cell and 2 - 7 cell. BFP!!!!
  1st U/S - Twins! 2nd U/S - 3 heartbeats!!! - HOLY COW!!!
  Prayers for our take home babies!
  2 babies born on 3/27/12 and lost. Last baby born on 3/29/12 and lost at 20 weeks.
  My angels grew wings shortly after birth.
  Ahava Raisel, Matisyahu Nissim & Zev Chaim - Mommy and Daddy will always love you.
  IVF #3 July 2012 - ER 7/17/2012 - 10 R. 5 F. 4 made it to ET
  Transferred 2 on 7/20/2012 no snow babies :-(
  Beta on 7/31/2012 = BFMFN
  A miracle gift expected to come to us through adoption around 9/2012
  Baby girl adopted - Birth Mother changed her mind and took the baby back
  IVF #4 October 2012 - New RE. Doing PGD Testing. 8 R, 7F, 2 made it to 5 day blast for PDG testing. Both Normal (Thank you G-d!!!) 1 boy and 1 girl
  transferred one beautiful 5day blast (girl)
  Please G-d the almighty one - let this be our take home baby!
  Beta #1 158, Beta #2 318, 1 Absolutely magnificent HB at 175! Thank you G-d!!!
  Baby Girl born August 5th. Thank you G-d for our precious miracle.
  AMA. PAIF & SAIF always welcome - I need all the prayers I can get!
  
  

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• DoublePortion member

  January 2013

  ((hugs)) You just have a lot to deal with and sometimes we just have to explode to get it out. I hope you feel better and the clause doesn't create a problem with the donor.
  

  
  ***signature & ticker warning***
  
  Me: 30 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8
  AMH .97 as of 4/2012! ~ AMH 1.63 as of 4/2013!?!
  Him: 29 ~ perfect swimmers
  Laparotomy w/partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo.
  Stopped BCP 4/2010.
  Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN
  IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN
  IVF:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embryos txfrd. ~ BFN
  BCP to manage endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012.
  FET w/donor embryos #1: 10/2013 Cancelled
  FET w/donor embryos #1.2: 11/2013 ~ ET of 2 beautiful blasts on 11/27.
  Beta 1: 503(12dp5dt) Beta 2: 1035(14dpt) Beta 3: 3001(16dpt) Beta 4: 8503(19dpt)
  Twins with an EDD of 8/15/14! Team Purple
  G&B born 6/30/14 at 33w3d via emergency c/s.
  
  If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus!
  
  
  
  

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• BzeetyD member

  January 2013

  It's totally acceptable to go apeshizz at times, you've been through a lot and each of these processes are so incredibly detailed and time consuming.

  When DH and I talk about DE he has more issues with it than me and more "amendments" to any kind of situation we'd be involved in. Maybe that's typical? I don't know.

  I hope you're feeling better today and that your donor agrees to the revision.

  Hugs.
  

   

  BzeetyD = 38, Mr. BzeetyD = 44 together 12/02 married 9/08
  TTC #1 since 1/10
  DX: Unexplained/??? MFI issues
  
  Our lil' lost sparks:
  5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
  8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
  8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2013
  4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2013
  
  Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
  RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal
  
  Moving on to IVF.
  
  IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy
  
  Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
  IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
  FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
  Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427. 1st u/s showed a healthy heartbeat! EDD 2/16/14
  
  After 4 years of hoping and heartbreak, our sweet little bean was born on 2/19/14
  We are so in love with her.
  
  "I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."
  
  Everybody is welcome!!!

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• Sophistikitty member

  January 2013

  Thanks ladies for all your support.  I so appreciate you taking the time to make me feel less alone... Especially when each and every one of you has your own issues (some much worse than me at this point).  Huge hugs to each and every one of you!

  
  

  ***SIGNATURE WARNING***

  
  

  TTC #1

  Me 42, DH 47

  Dx = AMA/DOR, MFI

  IVF/ICSI #1 = BFN

  IVF/ICSI #2 = BFP; early loss

  IVF/ICSI #3 (DE) = BFP; early loss

  FET = BFN

  IVF/ICSI #4 (DE w/ CCS) = BFP

  Beta #1 @ 10dp6dt = 265; Beta #2 @ 14dp6dt = 1251. 

  1st U/S @ 6w2d showed one perfect little heartbeat! 

  2nd U/S @ 7w2d. HB 132 & everything measuring on track.

  Our beautiful little girl arrived January 2015!

  
  

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• Julie21613 member

  January 2013

  Hugs to you... we are always so hard on ourselves.  We deserve melt downs every now and again.  Embrace it! 

   

  Me 35, DH 36
  TTC summer 2008
  Diagnose me. DOR, DH perfect
  IUI # 1 6/2010, BFN
  IUI # 2 8/2010, BFN
  IVF # 1 10/2010 Canceled poor response
  IVF 1.2 12/2010 BFP! mc 6 weeks 2 days
  Mental health break for 10 months
  IVF # 2 10/2011 BFN
  IVF # 3 5/2012 BFP! 10 eggs retrieved (best ever)
  7 fertilized transferred 3
  Beta #1 14dpo - 72, Beta #2 17dpo 145 Beta 3 20dpo 521
  First u/s June 15 saw HB 126 bpm missed m/c 7/5/12 10 weeks D&C 7/6/12
  IVF#4 ER 9/30 ET 10/3 Beta 10/16 BFFN. IVF #5 final with o/e. ER 1/21 only 1 retrieved, hoping my lonestar is the one. Beta #1 2/6/13 = 209.... please let this be it! Keep growing lonestar! Beta #2 2/8/13 - 586! , Beta #3 2/10/13 = 1898. First u/s perfect little heart beat at 116 bpm. Measure 6 weeks 1 day. EDD 10/14/13
  3/4/13 measuring right on track beautiful heartbeat 171 bpm, graduated from RE to OB... bittersweet.
  PAIF/SAIF always welcome! Its a girl! 

  
  

  Maggie Grace is here!  10/5/13... 8lbs 6 ounces of pure joy!

  
  TTC#2  No birth control since DD was born.  Getting ready to jump back in the saddle.  Weaning this month. RE
  appt scheduled 5/8.   Here we go again!
  
  

  IFV# 6.  10/27  6 retrieved 4 mature 3 fertilized.  2 made it to 3dt 10/30. 1"very pretty 8 cell" and 1 6 cell.  Beta

  11/13.   Please stick embies!!!!  We love you so much already! 11/12/14  POAS, BFP... beta tomorrow!
  11/13 beta #1  924!!!  2nd bet 11/15 1906, one more on 11/17 3rd & final beta 3430.  First u/s 12/5, 7w4d, 2 heartbeats,

  both measuring right on track....2nd u/s... all is well... both beans measuring right on track... released from RE... first

  appointment with MFM 1/5.  Looks like this is really happening!
  
  

  
  
  

  

  
  
  

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• joules12 member

  January 2013

  Big hugs, lady!  Hope that you're feeling a bit better and that the revision works out okay with your donor.  And, yes, like others have already said...it's perfectly okay to go crazy at points throughout all this crap!
  

  TTC since honeymoon in 9/2010
  Me: 39, Dx DOR (FSH = 10.5, AMH = 0.43, best AFC = 10), AMA
  MH: 37, Dx Obstructive Azoospermia, multiple successful sperm retrieval procedures
  

  
  

  1/2012: IVF/ICSI #1 Antagonist = cancelled d/t poor response to max stims
  2/2012: IVF/ICSI #2 MDLF (4R, 4M, 1F) = BFP, saw heartbeat, missed m/c 9w0d, D&E
  8/2012: IVF/ICSI #3 EPP/MDLF (7R, 2M, 1F) = BFN
  
  12/2012: (New RE) Operative hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue
  
  1/2013: IVF/ICSI #4 Low-dose stim/Antagonist (AFC=6); ER=1/26 (5R-couldn't access rt ovary, 5M, 4F), ET=1/29 (trans 3) = BFP!; 2/11 beta#1(13dp3dt)=2127, 2/13=3367; twin girls due 10/19/13
  
  PAIF/SAIF very welcome!
  
  <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt16bf7d.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
  

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• AmCheri member

  January 2013

  I'm just catching up on posts after days of being away. Sorry for posting late.

  I'm sorry that you're having a hard time. I remember the day we needed to sit down and read through and sign our DE contract. I lost it. Got through five lines and stopped. Seeing it all in black and white is a serious reality check. I can understand where your hubby is coming from -- this isn't easy for him either. All I can say is give yourself and YH the biggest break possible. Over all of it. It's not easy sweetie. You'll get through it, to be sure, but the getting there is beyond stressful.

  Big hugs. Feel free to vent any time!   

  Baby girl Lila born 2013.
  Baby boy Henry born 2015.
  Expecting our capstone baby (boy) early March 2018.

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