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Meeting EM next week!

jackieo1309jackieo1309 member
in Adoption

I'm nervous! Not really nervous to meet her since we've been talking for 2 months and have already gotten to know each other- I'm more nervous because I don't really know how to act when we talk about things related to the adoption. Obviously, we are completely over-the-moon excited and, even though I want her to know how happy and grateful and excited we are to be parents, I know that things are starting to get emotionally more difficult for her. I don't want to upset her or make her more emotional, but I don't know how I am NOT going to be emotional, especially if she gives us an U/S picture or something.

 We're probably going to meet her for lunch somewhere. I know states have different laws about buying gifts for EM before placement or what we can give her money for, but do we need to worry about buying her lunch? Anyone know where we can find out the laws on things like that? If we're allowed to take her a small gift also, what should we bring? 

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Re: Meeting EM next week!

  • IRRIRR member
    If you want to PM what state your BM is located in, I may be able to give you some guidance based on some books I have, however it may be best to talk to your agency about it.  I think lunch should be fine either way, but as far as a gift each state has different laws.  Also you may want to only give a gift once the TPR is signed.  It is up to you, but if she changes her mind before birth will you regret giving her a gift at all?  May be something to think about and if there is a limit on gift giving, then you may not want to spend money now vs. giving her a gift later.  JMO.  GL with your meeting.
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    Failed Matches - December 2012, May 2013, December 2013
    Moved on to  gestational surrogacy with a family friend who is our angel and due 7/23/15


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  • jackieo1309jackieo1309 member

    imageIRR:
    If you want to PM what state your BM is located in, I may be able to give you some guidance based on some books I have, however it may be best to talk to your agency about it.  I think lunch should be fine either way, but as far as a gift each state has different laws.  Also you may want to only give a gift once the TPR is signed.  It is up to you, but if she changes her mind before birth will you regret giving her a gift at all?  May be something to think about and if there is a limit on gift giving, then you may not want to spend money now vs. giving her a gift later.  JMO.  GL with your meeting.

    Sent you a PM- My computer is acting strange though so let me know if you didn't get it. Thanks for checking!

     If we do bring a gift with us it will definitely be something small. We won't really get anything expensive or sentimental until after TPR. 

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  • CaptainSeriousCaptainSerious member
    Unfortunately, I have no advice to offer, but I wanted to wish you luck and peace!
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  • Foster1MomFoster1Mom
    Best of luck. Can't wait to hear an update.
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  • edaireedaire member
    I have no advice about the subject either, but I wanted to wish you all the luck in the world and I am so happy for yall! How exciting! I also wanted to tell you that I adore your picture with the baby shoes. It is precious!
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  • DaisyZHDaisyZH member
    No advice but good luck, that is so exciting!


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  • sgb721sgb721 member
    Interesting- I hadn't thought about the purchase of lunch or a meal because some agencies allow for you to pay for certain living expenses... but I guess thats only once your matched. I'm curious about this- I'd defiantly check with the Agency.
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