Difference in Boy/Boy vs. Boy/Girl for 2U2 in the early years?

shellylovelee · January 2013

Not sure who can exactly answer this as it's very unlikely one person has experienced both. My nephews are 2U2 and the best of friends at ages 5 & 4 and have been for several years. When we found out we were preggers with a girl and would have Boy/Girl 2U2 combo, it kinda threw me off guard.

I had spent the pregnancy up until that point imaging two boys. Not intentionally, it just is what I've known through my nephews and that was where my head went.

My hope is that with my second being a girl, they will still be close friends and enjoy playing with one another for many years. I know it will likely change when they get older, but I'd be bummed if they weren't close as little kids.

Would love to hear from other's experience with this. Thanks!

NNGnome · January 2013

I don't have experience of the children, but I do have experience living it, my brother was 22 mths younger than me, and we were close when we were young, then as older children and teenagers, we fought a lot but we were close ( I have a younger sister who is 23 mths younger than my brother, we ganged up on her a lot Embarrassed

) we are now still close, and I talk to him regularly even though we live in different countries.

Tara*N*Chris · January 2013

I also lived it, my brother is 12 months older than me. We have always been close at all ages. But we also had two older siblings close in age so we were all close. My mother had 4u4 with no twins in there!

There were times as we got older that his friends would,ask about me, and my friends would ask about him, and that got a little annoying. But I ended up marrying one of his friends and he ended up marring my friend, so we still hang out a lot to this day.

memali26 · January 2013

My 2u2 are both girls, but I am 11 months younger than my brother. We have always gone back and forth between being friends and drifting apart. At one point in high school our circles of friends overlapped, which was fun and weird at the same time. If we had been the only two kids, or if there had even been 3 of us, we might have been closer, but I also have 3 baby sisters that I am closer to.

kagl08 · January 2013

My 2 are a boy/girl combo. The dynamic is adorable so far. Of course we are only 15 months into it, but they really are the best of friends. They play with all the same things, are into all the same characters.

My cousin's kids are 12 months apart. A girl at 5 and a boy at 4. They are the best of friends also. They have a great dynamic also, and even though the kids are into different things (the girl love princesses, the boy Spider-Man) they play together a lot.

My brother is just over 2 yrs older than me. We were friends all the way up until he got his 1st girlfriend, then he was too cool for me. But now we are pretty close and there was only a few years we drifted apart.

kcisthebombdotcom · January 2013

I also have a boy/girl duo and was hoping for 2 boys. Looking back I am SO so glad to have a daughter. She is seriously the sweetest thing and I think if I had two over the top energetic boys like my son I would lose my mind. lol! They are really close at 3 and 2 and do everything together/share all the same toys. I feel like them being opposite genders will help minimize competition and we can have our separate gender specific activities with each child so they get individual attention. I'm excited to experience the mother daughter relationship as she grows as well. While equally as special as the mother/son one it's different and I can't wait to see all the milestones that comes with that as well.

Also, it's not a given they will get into separate things as they get older. My friend tried to separate her b/g pair into separate rooms at 5 and 6. At 7 and 8, they still want to share space by choice.

Congrats on your baby girl!

juliane2004 · January 2013

My oldest two are 14 m apart, girl then boy.

It's great. I don't have experience with the same gender 2u2 (even #3 is a girl, so 2/3 is b/g too). So far, they have a lot of the same interests, and even more varied than a b/b combo would be. Like, DS plays with dolls and DD plays with trucks and trains, since they share all their toys.

shellylovelee · January 2013

KC_13:
I also have a boy/girl duo and was hoping for 2 boys. Looking back I am SO so glad to have a daughter. She is seriously the sweetest thing and I think if I had two over the top energetic boys like my son I would lose my mind. lol! They are really close at 3 and 2 and do everything together/share all the same toys. I feel like them being opposite genders will help minimize competition and we can have our separate gender specific activities with each child so they get individual attention. I'm excited to experience the mother daughter relationship as she grows as well. While equally as special as the mother/son one it's different and I can't wait to see all the milestones that comes with that as well.
Also, it's not a given they will get into separate things as they get older. My friend tried to separate her b/g pair into separate rooms at 5 and 6. At 7 and 8, they still want to share space by choice.
Congrats on your baby girl!

Thank you KC_13! Your experience means a lot to me! As does every posters thoughts. Thank you all!

sweetpea2003 · January 2013

Mine are b/g and 16 months apart.

One thing I have loved is that it encourages my kids to bend the gender expectations that are thrown onto little ones. My daughter plays with cars and trucks and trains. My son pushes a doll stroller, wears dress up jewerly, and likes pink. They watch movies together - some "girly" some "boyish" - and they learn to appeciate it all. It is refreshing. My friends with several girls seem to have almost all "girly" toys and they scoff at the idea of buying trucks and action figures and "boy" stuff. My friends with boys tend to be similar (just to the blue side of things) and claim their husbands would freak if their boys were playing with dolls or dress up or wanted to watch Cinderella.

They play like typical siblings. They love each other to death and then fight like cats and dogs. But it is clear that they aren't the same when they are apart. They are always asking about each other when one is sleeping, out at an activity, or not right where they "should be" (right next to them).

I had a sister growing up, but we were so far apart in age that we weren't close until our 20s. I think that the relationship my kids have, despite the fact that they are of the opposite sex, is stronger than any relationship I had as a child with my sister.

etude de la vie · January 2013

sweetpea2003:
Mine are b/g and 16 months apart.

One thing I have loved is that it encourages my kids to bend the gender expectations that are thrown onto little ones. My daughter plays with cars and trucks and trains. My son pushes a doll stroller, wears dress up jewerly, and likes pink. They watch movies together - some "girly" some "boyish" - and they learn to appeciate it all. It is refreshing. My friends with several girls seem to have almost all "girly" toys and they scoff at the idea of buying trucks and action figures and "boy" stuff. My friends with boys tend to be similar (just to the blue side of things) and claim their husbands would freak if their boys were playing with dolls or dress up or wanted to watch Cinderella.

They play like typical siblings. They love each other to death and then fight like cats and dogs. But it is clear that they aren't the same when they are apart. They are always asking about each other when one is sleeping, out at an activity, or not right where they "should be" (right next to them).

I had a sister growing up, but we were so far apart in age that we weren't close until our 20s. I think that the relationship my kids have, despite the fact that they are of the opposite sex, is stronger than any relationship I had as a child with my sister.

this is us exactly! Especially bending traditional gender identity. Both kids love playing with Thomas the trains and watching Cinderella. I also had a sister 5 years older and we were never close. My kids love being with each other and also fight but overall can't be without the other. .

ChristyML · January 2013

I don't have 2u2 (yet, we're ttc in April, or a little before), but I lived it as well, but my younger brother and I are only 11 months apart. We were the best of friends growing up, and we would always play with each other (he would play with my Barbies with me and add his toys to the mix lol). We grew apart as we got older (our dad committed suicide when my brother was 14 and my brother was really not in touch with his feelings after it happened, which was a huge damper), but since I've had my DS, my brother has actually become a close friend again. I'm 23 and he's 22 now, but I think as time goes on, we'll just keep getting closer like we were when we were younger.

shellylovelee · January 2013

I love all of these replies! Makes my heart smile! Thank you!

jf198400 · January 2013

I have a girl and boy 18months apart. Right now they are 2yr4mo and 10mo and are best of friends. I agree with the others that it's nice to have them be able to play with opposite gender toys. DD loves Thomas the train and DS always steals DD's princesses. I also would be afraid if I had had 2 girls that they might fight more as teens. Also just an fyi, apparently having 1 of each is called a "Rich Man's Family." I never heard of this expression until DS was born.

Cotton · January 2013

My first two are boy-then-girl, 16mos apart. They grew up like two peas in a pod. My third child didn't get into the "big kid" friendship until a year or two ago and that changed the dynamic a bit. But it was great while it lasted! and it's not really gone, just changed.

The best things about boy-then-girl:

The sibling rivalry is minimal when they have different main interests and they don't even squabble over who gets the blue plate, for example. They found their identities in their differences for a few years there. She loved girl things all the more because her brother didn't, if you know what I mean.

When it comes to indoor things, they are exactly the same level developmentally. This makes things easy! I was still dressing my son at age 3, but trying to get him to do it himself. Once it clicked for him, my daughter dressed herself the next day, like "Oh, is that what you'd like me to do? ok!" And the same with taking showers and washing her own hair and tying shoes, stuff like that. Comes easier and earlier with my daughter, which gives my oldest a boost. Even reading and early grade-school stuff like they do now. She's actually a better reader, which keeps him motivated. (teachers say it's totally normal for girls to learn earlier)

Along those lines, she is no match for him whatsoever when it comes to sports or even endurance stuff like long days at the zoo. He wins and is stronger and faster and she's just not that into the competition aspect when he's going to win. ...I hope this stuff I'm writing is making sense...

I loved that they shared a room at our old house (up until 1.5 yrs ago). They were always familiar with each others things and comfortable with the opposite sex. I hope this will last and that she, being my only daughter, won't become too isolated from the boys. I think it's a related fact that my daughter is completely boy crazy. We'll have to lock her up when she turns 16 because she thinks she's ready to get married. haha.

Hope this helps you!! It was fun remembering these things

shellylovelee · January 2013

Cotton:
My first two are boy-then-girl, 16mos apart. They grew up like two peas in a pod. My third child didn't get into the "big kid" friendship until a year or two ago and that changed the dynamic a bit. But it was great while it lasted! and it's not really gone, just changed.

The best things about boy-then-girl:

The sibling rivalry is minimal when they have different main interests and they don't even squabble over who gets the blue plate, for example. They found their identities in their differences for a few years there. She loved girl things all the more because her brother didn't, if you know what I mean.

When it comes to indoor things, they are exactly the same level developmentally. This makes things easy! I was still dressing my son at age 3, but trying to get him to do it himself. Once it clicked for him, my daughter dressed herself the next day, like "Oh, is that what you'd like me to do? ok!" And the same with taking showers and washing her own hair and tying shoes, stuff like that. Comes easier and earlier with my daughter, which gives my oldest a boost. Even reading and early grade-school stuff like they do now. She's actually a better reader, which keeps him motivated. (teachers say it's totally normal for girls to learn earlier)

Along those lines, she is no match for him whatsoever when it comes to sports or even endurance stuff like long days at the zoo. He wins and is stronger and faster and she's just not that into the competition aspect when he's going to win. ...I hope this stuff I'm writing is making sense...

I loved that they shared a room at our old house (up until 1.5 yrs ago). They were always familiar with each others things and comfortable with the opposite sex. I hope this will last and that she, being my only daughter, won't become too isolated from the boys. I think it's a related fact that my daughter is completely boy crazy. We'll have to lock her up when she turns 16 because she thinks she's ready to get married. haha.

Hope this helps you!! It was fun remembering these things

Love it! Thank you!

BeachMom2Be · January 2013

We are going to have 2u2 in may! we have a boy and just found out today the second will be a girl. I also have 2 nephews and was totally thinking we were having another boy, i am in total shock and very excited. thank you for posting this!

mtm0109 · January 2013

I'm so glad I read this!

In 12 days DD will be making her debut and DS turned 1 on the 7th. I am slightly nervous about the b/g combo. But Im feeling much better now thanks ladies!

lindsay.lou · January 2013

I have two boys 15 mo apart, but can't comment on their relationship as DS2 is only 4 mo old. However, my brother is 16 months older than me. My mom says we were BFFs as toddlers, but once we hit grade school we didn't play much together. I think that has more to do with the fact that i also have a younger brother, so my two brothers hung out and played a lot together without me.

If i had to guess, I'd say you probably wouldn't notice a relationship difference between B/B vs B/G sibs as toddlers. Toddlers just want to play. But it would be safe to assume their interests will slowly drift apart?

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