- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Blended Families
JnA12
member
Lurker Question
JnA12
member
Hello all, I have a question reguarding a friend of mine. His daughters BM passed away yesterday (allergic reaction to medicine cause a brain bleed). Within an hour of her passing her parents had already contacted a lawyer so that they can try to get primary custody of the 2 1/2 yr old.
The CO that they had, he had EOW and 2 hrs during the week.
How likely is it that the grandparents will get primary custody and he will end up with the same visitation that he had before? He is contacting a lawyer also since he is obviously wanting his daughter full time.
He is an amazing father. The BMs parents hate him because he and BM did not get along and they see him as an unfit father because him and BM argued. In reality he is anything but an unfit father. He would never try to keep the little girl from her grandarents, which is what I think they are afaid of.
So back to my question, is it likely that he will get his daughter?
Thank you!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Lurker Question
Yes, this.
But I hope that you encourage your friend to honor the grandparents relationship with the child. Even if he doesn't get along with them.
And they might be going for full custody hoping to get some custody.
What a terrible timefor the little one. =(
He should get his daughter now. And he should get an attorney. But I think he should also contact the grandparents and set up some kind of visitation with them. He should say "You're important to my child and I want you in her life." and make arrangements to meet them at a park or something so they can spend time with her. I'd caution him against leaving them alone with the child initially though.
They may just want to know they aren't going to be cut out. If that's the case hopefully mediation will resolve things. GL to him!
This!
This. Without knowing the full history, I'm going to assume that the grandparents are not only mourning the loss of their child but are also fearful of "losing" their grandchild. Maybe offering up some sort of visitation plan will put them at ease and help avoid some costly litigation.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
He took his daughter home from the hospital. They were trying to keep her after she told her mommy bye and she started screaming,"I want daddy". She got her way :
I'm sorry for his loss. I know they weren't together, but she was still his family. It sounds like a tough situation for him and the grandparents who are grieving.
I agree with the previous poster who said hopefully they can work this out without a court battle. They all have enough to deal with without the added stress.
Not sure where you're located, but where I'm located a grandparent is only awarded grandparents rights if they are being kept away from the child. So, if your friend is willing to let them take DD to dinner once a week and have a weekend once a month (or whatever he is comfortable with) then they shouldn't have grounds for CO'd visitation. Personally, I wouldn't agree to CO'd visitation if he doesn't have to. It's one thing trying to switch things around with a BP, another thing with grandparents. I'd be annoyed if I had to give up taking DS somewhere important/special for a weekend because grandparents wouldn't let me - they shouldn't have that right, ykwim?
Actually he should not set up any visitation. Not unless he wants them to come back at him at a later date for custody.
Grandparents' Rights do vary between states, just like divorce. However, the underlying theme is that Grandparents have rights towards the child(ren) if they can prove an existing, supportive relationship.
So having a set visitation schedule opens you up to a custody fight if you choose to change said schedule down the line.
Talk to a lawyer.
https://grandparents.about.com/od/grandparentingissues/a/VisitationRights.htm
Chances of Success With a Lawsuit
If no other remedy is found, grandparents need to be aware of their chances for success before commencing a lawsuit. Success is more likely if the grandparents have documented their relationship with their grandchild. Such documentation is a good step for grandparents to consider to safeguard their rights. There are, however, other factors that the court will consider.
First, have the grandparents been denied any visitation, or has their access to grandchildren merely been restricted? If all visitation has been denied, the grandparents have a better case. Indeed, in states with stringent statutes, grandparents cannot file a suit if they are allowed to see their grandchildren, even if the visitation is very infrequent.
Second, what is the family situation of the children in the dispute? If the family is ?intact?--not affected by death or divorce--grandparents have a weaker claim. Grandparents of children born out of wedlock also may have a more difficult time, as paternity must be established before the suit can proceed. Adoption can also terminate grandparents' rights just as it terminates parental rights, unless the adoptive parties are stepparents or other grandparents, in which case grandparents? rights may survive the adoption.
Third, have the grandparents served as custodial parents or served in the role of parents? If grandparents have provided child care, taken children for doctor?s visits or otherwise filled roles normally filled by parents, the rights of the grandparents are generally strengthened.
****Its that first and third point you have to worry about. Especially in a divorced ro never married situation. If the grandparents were parental in any way, they can try for legal custody, not just visitation. So creating a vistitation SCHEDULE vs. letting them see her every now and again, is NOT A GOOD THING>
The only reason why I know this, is because my MIL has threatened her own daughter...and DH and I looked into it just in case.
But since we are still together, MIL has literally only seen DD 4 times in the last 4 years, and she has never provided any support (emotional, logistical or financial) she would have no grounds in either state.
However, if any of these things change, she could.
The BM was using her parents as daycare since they offered. So when BM or my friend were working the grandparents did go to DR visits.
He lives close to the grandparents and said if they would like, they could continue to to act as daycare and he would pay them.
He is fine with them keeping their weekly play date and letter her spend the night twice a month if they want.
He's easily stressed out when it comes to her family. So he is just freaking out right now. They have tried to shut him out of things (BM included before her death), like her birthday before they had a cout order. They have told him that since he couldn't make it work with BM and they couldn't get along then he is an unfit father, because a father should get along with his childs mother. (That one made me laugh!) He has gone to the AG office and is also in contact with a lawyer.