A little frustrated...

lindsaycarol · January 2013

This is my first pregnancy, and I want to have a natural birth. I would prefer to have a home birth, but am not againist a birthing center. My frustration is with our state laws, we are not midwife friendly. I would have to drive an hour & a half to the nearest birthing center (We only have one available to us). My only other option is to have an un-licensed midwife that will allow an "illegal" home birth. This is the pits... Anyone have any ideas?

tokenhoser · January 2013

There are no birthing centers here and I'm not that into a home birth, so I go to the hospital. It's the most practical thing for my location. I have a great doctor, and I'm planning to get a doula again. If I was you, I'd focus on having a positive natural hospital birth. It's really not a bad thing if you do it right.

lindsaycarol · January 2013

tokenhoser:
There are no birthing centers here and I'm not that into a home birth, so I go to the hospital. It's the most practical thing for my location. I have a great doctor, and I'm planning to get a doula again. If I was you, I'd focus on having a positive natural hospital birth. It's really not a bad thing if you do it right.

I am not againist a hospital birth, but the local hospitals are not famous for letting the mother decide on the birth process. I want to be able to get up and move freely, possibly even have a birthing tub, but it's not really an option at the area hospitals. Also, I don't want to be guilted into unwanted interventions for the sake of the baby...I've heard horror stories. That being said, if I could find a doctor that would support my decision I wouldn't mind a birth in the hospital. Good luck to you!

mattdk06 · January 2013

lindsaycarol:
tokenhoser:
There are no birthing centers here and I'm not that into a home birth, so I go to the hospital. It's the most practical thing for my location. I have a great doctor, and I'm planning to get a doula again. If I was you, I'd focus on having a positive natural hospital birth. It's really not a bad thing if you do it right.
I am not againist a hospital birth, but the local hospitals are not famous for letting the mother decide on the birth process. I want to be able to get up and move freely, possibly even have a birthing tub, but it's not really an option at the area hospitals. Also, I don't want to be guilted into unwanted interventions for the sake of the baby...I've heard horror stories. That being said, if I could find a doctor that would support my decision I wouldn't mind a birth in the hospital. Good luck to you!

I was pleasantly surprised to find out how natural birth-friendly my hospital is, even though I heard rumors that they were not. There is a lot of pressure to get C-section rates down these days, so you might find out that a hospital in your area may offer more birthing options than you know about. It wouldn't hurt to call. Either way, I understand your frustration (I did switch OB practices at 20 weeks so I could deliver at the NB hospital). Good luck!

lindsaycarol · January 2013

mattdk06:
lindsaycarol:
tokenhoser:
There are no birthing centers here and I'm not that into a home birth, so I go to the hospital. It's the most practical thing for my location. I have a great doctor, and I'm planning to get a doula again. If I was you, I'd focus on having a positive natural hospital birth. It's really not a bad thing if you do it right.
I am not againist a hospital birth, but the local hospitals are not famous for letting the mother decide on the birth process. I want to be able to get up and move freely, possibly even have a birthing tub, but it's not really an option at the area hospitals. Also, I don't want to be guilted into unwanted interventions for the sake of the baby...I've heard horror stories. That being said, if I could find a doctor that would support my decision I wouldn't mind a birth in the hospital. Good luck to you!
I was pleasantly surprised to find out how natural birth-friendly my hospital is, even though I heard rumors that they were not. There is a lot of pressure to get C-section rates down these days, so you might find out that a hospital in your area may offer more birthing options than you know about. It wouldn't hurt to call. Either way, I understand your frustration (I did switch OB practices at 20 weeks so I could deliver at the NB hospital). Good luck!

Thank you! I'm in my first trimester so I have time. I really hope I do find a local doctor & hospital that will work out. Since that appears to be the best option available to me. I will have my first appointment at 10 weeks, maybe I will get good news! Good luck to you too!

tokenhoser · January 2013

You can labour at home and still deliver in a hospital. I arrived 10 cm dilated - so there was little pressure about anything. It was just time to have a baby. My doctor was very accommodating and patient - she happily let me deliver on my hands and knees, and I pushed for 90 minutes.

For me, labouring at home meant I could do whatever I want but still deliver in a location ready to handle emergencies well. Given my limited options, it was the best choice.

I'd ask around for doctor recommendations - don't feel remotely like you need to stick with someone because you had your first appointment there. Ask doulas, natural childbirth instructors, LLL leaders, or just plain anyone you know that had a natural birth. A supportive caregiver does make all the difference.

LaurelBee · January 2013

I'm sorry there aren't any HB or BC choices near you. That's really just sad

but I agree that I think your best option would be to find a supportive OB and plan for a hospital birth. I'm planning a HB this time, but had a positive birth experience with Ds in hospital. GL mama

lindsaycarol · January 2013

tokenhoser:
You can labour at home and still deliver in a hospital. I arrived 10 cm dilated - so there was little pressure about anything. It was just time to have a baby. My doctor was very accommodating and patient - she happily let me deliver on my hands and knees, and I pushed for 90 minutes.
For me, labouring at home meant I could do whatever I want but still deliver in a location ready to handle emergencies well. Given my limited options, it was the best choice.
I'd ask around for doctor recommendations - don't feel remotely like you need to stick with someone because you had your first appointment there. Ask doulas, natural childbirth instructors, LLL leaders, or just plain anyone you know that had a natural birth. A supportive caregiver does make all the difference.

That's a great idea! It may come to that. I guess I could get a doula and have her present at home for assistance, huh? Then go to the hospital. I like the idea of having someone to help coach, along with DH. I know he will be great, but I want someone who will know more about birth.

tokenhoser · January 2013

Yes, a lot of the reason I had (and want) a doula was to help us at home and help us have the confidence to stay home until it was a good idea to go in.

briannabeebug · January 2013

I live on a big island with a lot of little islands around it. The mothers on the little islands always end up subletting/renting a cabin/house for a month so that they can have a home birth and have a safe place to transfer to if it comes to that. Always a weird option to throw in there!

I would still check out your hospital and see how natural friendly they are and see what resources they have to support your natural birth.

Annaeliz84 · January 2013

I'm planning a natural hospital birth at a hospital with a high c-section rate and with a fairly intervention-happy OBGYN. I'm pretty good at advocating for myself and have made my coach read and get educated so he can advocate for me when I'm not in a talking mood! There are more natural-birth friendly hospitals in the area but I liked that the one nearest me (the one with the high c-section rate) was less than 5 minutes away. My plan is to labor at home for as long as possible so the shorter drive is more important to me than a hospital that is natural birth friendly on paper.

That being said, I was pleasantly surprised when I took the hospital tour and then a week later, had to spend a night in Labor and Delivery. The nurses (who will have more influence over your labor than the doctors) were AMAZING. Every nurse I talked to was very open to natural childbirth and encouraged me to bring in a birth plan. There isn't a tub in the rooms, but I will have a private room and a shower. The shower has a little bench or you can take in your birthing ball and bounce under the water.

I guess what I'm saying is that don't rule out hospitals just because you have heard horror stories or that the hospital doesn't appear to be natural birth friendly at first glance. I've also heard horror stories (about hospitals AND birthing centers!) but that doesn't mean that neither is a good option!

Get educated (you have time), educate your coach, explore your options, and go with what feels right for you. Perhaps you will decide that the 1.5 hour drive is worth it to you. If so, go for it. You can always get a hotel near the center if you have to wait for a bit. If the hospital looks like your best option, I recommend Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds by Cynthia Gabriel. It really helped me come up with a plan and gave me good suggestions with how to work with the hospital staff to get the birth I want.

Good luck!

lindsaycarol · January 2013

Annaeliz84:
I'm planning a natural hospital birth at a hospital with a high c-section rate and with a fairly intervention-happy OBGYN. I'm pretty good at advocating for myself and have made my coach read and get educated so he can advocate for me when I'm not in a talking mood! There are more natural-birth friendly hospitals in the area but I liked that the one nearest me (the one with the high c-section rate) was less than 5 minutes away. My plan is to labor at home for as long as possible so the shorter drive is more important to me than a hospital that is natural birth friendly on paper.
That being said, I was pleasantly surprised when I took the hospital tour and then a week later, had to spend a night in Labor and Delivery. The nurses (who will have more influence over your labor than the doctors) were AMAZING. Every nurse I talked to was very open to natural childbirth and encouraged me to bring in a birth plan. There isn't a tub in the rooms, but I will have a private room and a shower. The shower has a little bench or you can take in your birthing ball and bounce under the water.
I guess what I'm saying is that don't rule out hospitals just because you have heard horror stories or that the hospital doesn't appear to be natural birth friendly at first glance. I've also heard horror stories (about hospitals AND birthing centers!) but that doesn't mean that neither is a good option!
Get educated (you have time), educate your coach, explore your options, and go with what feels right for you. Perhaps you will decide that the 1.5 hour drive is worth it to you. If so, go for it. You can always get a hotel near the center if you have to wait for a bit. If the hospital looks like your best option, I recommend Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds by Cynthia Gabriel. It really helped me come up with a plan and gave me good suggestions with how to work with the hospital staff to get the birth I want.
Good luck!

Oh wow! Thanks for all the information and the book recommendation, I will definitely be reading it. I am going in it all with an open mind, thats how I discovered I want a NB. I did not orginally even consider NB, but now I'm positive its what I want. At this point, DH & I have an appt with the OB and a consulatation with the midwife 1.5 hours away. I want to explore all options. Thanks again!

nyki06 · January 2013

Would you feel comfortable with driving an hour and a half to the birthing center? Our hospital of choice is an hour away and I doubt it will be an issue. With my first I could have easily driven an hour and a half to a center.

bripratt2 · January 2013

there was another post about laboring mostly at home. My nurse friends always say its better to do that if you dont want interventions. I think thats good advicen I agree with pp's though you dont need to rule out hospitals I had a pretty good experience with one. Its about being prepared and what not like everything really. I would read read read and take classes and I know with next baby Im gonna labor at home as long as I can. Good luck with your birth

apansey87 · January 2013

My Birthing center was 3.5 hours away. It's doable if it's something you really want! Had my baby last Friday and I'm so happy I delivered where I did.

Nechie122 · January 2013

nyki06:
Would you feel comfortable with driving an hour and a half to the birthing center? Our hospital of choice is an hour away and I doubt it will be an issue. With my first I could have easily driven an hour and a half to a center.nbsp;

Our birthing center was an hour from our apartment with typical NYC traffic. I would give serious thought to traveling 90 minutes if the hospital options are that bad, but the one drawback might be prenatal appointments.

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