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<3 Monsters INC.

kbeamer25kbeamer25
in Blended Families

Don't get me wrong, I love my family and I am well aware of the transitional trials that come with having different dynamics in one household. Currently, I have one daughter who I am in a split-parenting circumstance with and my boyfriend has a nephew whom his parents as well as ourselves raise. Carter (Kyle's nephew) is 6 and my daughter (Makenzie) is 8. With that said, you can imagine all the emotions and stress of trying to balance everyone's needs.

I'm 28 weeks along and surprisingly I think my patience level has increased as if my mind is prepping for when baby is here. However, there are times where I just want to chung a huge milk shake, lock my door, and watch Top Gun to escape the madness! :) I try to enforce structure, schedules, and rules for both kiddos because although Carter is not mine nor Kyle's child, he is still part of our troop.

The problem I'm facing is Kyle's parents want to be "grandparents" they have resentment for the fact that they raised all of their children and now have to start all over with their grandson. You can imagine the stress and complications it puts on us to try and enforce a working system when Kyle's parents are sometimes very lax with Carter. Those complications boil over our efforts in trying to instill good behavior and leadership with Makenzie as well. "Monkey see Monkey do!"

I'm wondering if there is anyone out there with a situation similar to ours who can give me some advice on trying to prevent myself from mentally losing my marbles over here! lol :)

 I love our kids and our family, I just need some stress relief medication in the form of advice on how to establish more pleasure through this frustration rather than punishment. Help!!

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Re: <3 Monsters INC.

  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member
    Who is the court appointed guardian of this child? I doubt it would be 3 people. What type of split are they doing with him?
    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

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  • SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    Who is legally responsible for Carter? There really need to be boundaries here with who is the "parent" and who isn't. The legal gaurdian should be making the parenting decisions for him.

    If you and BF are not the legal gaurdians then parenting choices need to be left to the gradparents. That being said, if he is visiting at your home you can have rules established for what is expected of him there.
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  • kbeamer25kbeamer25

    Carter's grandparents do not have any legal rights as far as custody goes. I think they are reluctant to go after it in fear that Darci (Carter's mom) will come and take Carter out of spite but will not properly care for him. Darci calls every other day, buys gifts and such, but hasn't seen her son in over 5 months. I think Kyle's parents want their daughter to step up, but as it stands right now, Carter would be in a very detrimental situation mentally, physically, and emotionally if his mom takes him.

    So Kyle and I try to stay respectful of all of this, its just really stressful at times.

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  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member

    Where is his biological father? Where does the kid live? With you or the grandparents. It's very hard to give advice without more detail. If the grandparents, I think you and your DH need to butt out and only act like Aunt and Uncle to him and treat him not differently than a nephew coming to visit. As such, the grandparent are allowed to do whatever they please when he is living with them. If he is living with you then you should seek some sort of legal guardianship.

    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

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  • SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    imagegin9874:
    Where is his biological father? Where does the kid live?nbsp;With you or the grandparents. It's very hard to give advice without more detail.nbsp;If the grandparents, I think you and your DH need to butt out and only act like Aunt and Uncle to him and treat him not differently than a nephew coming tonbsp;visit. As such, the grandparent are allowed to do whatever they please whennbsp;he is living with them.nbsp;If he is living with you then you should seek some sort of legal guardianship.


    Yup, all of this.
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