Disgusting Coworker

QueenBeeMama · January 2013

I am currently sitting here, hearing all the details of a male coworkers sex life in horrible, vivid, derogatory colour. Want. to. scream.

The way he talks about women could make a nun swear. And it is constant. And I'm not the type to take issues to HR, but i'm about to be the type to loose my shiz.

cobi166 · January 2013

I would just start talking in vivid colour about everything TTC, pg, and giving birth related. Ask him if he's ready for that? If he's not, keep it in his pants!

MJHershey · January 2013

cobi166:
I would just start talking in vivid colour about everything TTC, pg, and giving birth related. Ask him if he's ready for that? If he's not, keep it in his pants!

Nice.

I really don't understand the culture of oversharing. I don't want to KNOW and it doe snot make you look more sexy or virile... just obnoxious. And disrespectful to the other person being described ...

QueenBeeMama · January 2013

cobi166:
I would just start talking in vivid colour about everything TTC, pg, and giving birth related. Ask him if he's ready for that? If he's not, keep it in his pants!

I like the way you think. I think I'll print pics of a placenta, and a 4th degree tear... turn him off women for a couple days. Give my poor ears a rest from this nonsense.

QueenBeeMama · January 2013

MJHershey:

cobi166:
I would just start talking in vivid colour about everything TTC, pg, and giving birth related. Ask him if he's ready for that? If he's not, keep it in his pants!
Nice.
I really don't understand the culture of oversharing. I don't want to KNOW and it doe snot make you look more sexy or virile... just obnoxious. And disrespectful to the other person being described ...

Oh he is incredibly disrespectful to his "woman" (Yes he refers to her/them? as his woman/women. Not gf, not friend, no terms of semi endearment here). If I ever heard somebody speak of me the way he speaks of these poor ladies I would flip my lid!

2Dash · January 2013

Gross. You should come up with a way to have your manager come to your desk to overhear said inappropriate conversation.

Mrs. Mo · January 2013

cobi166:
I would just start talking in vivid colour about everything TTC, pg, and giving birth related. Ask him if he's ready for that? If he's not, keep it in his pants!

Agreed. Pick up your phone and pretend to be talking to a friend who is TTC. Start asking "her" about her CM's color, consistancy, etc. If he makes any comments, just say "Oh, I thought that we could talk about our very personal things at work since you seem to have no problem doing that."

nlscroggins · January 2013

i think i would have to call him out to his face and say something like "you know i can hear every single thing you're saying, right?" or something like that to let him maybe get the hint that not everyone wants to hear his nonsense.

QueenBeeMama · January 2013

jefa621:
QueenBeeMama:

cobi166:
I would just start talking in vivid colour about everything TTC, pg, and giving birth related. Ask him if he's ready for that? If he's not, keep it in his pants!

I like the way you think. I think I'll print pics of a placenta, and a 4th degree tear... turn him off women for a couple days. Give my poor ears a rest from this nonsense.

Passive aggressive probably won't work, but GLWT. ETA: Not to mention he could technically report your placenta talk if he wanted to. I woudnt go down that road.

I was being farcical. I wouldn't actually do this. I just think passive aggressively, because it's fun.

QueenBeeMama · January 2013

nlscroggins:
i think i would have to call him out to his face and say something like "you know i can hear every single thing you're saying, right?" or something like that to let him maybe get the hint that not everyone wants to hear his nonsense.

There have been so many times I want to turn around and do just that. He has a thing about making fun of bigger girls. I'm not huge, but I certainly don't fit into the skinny category either (size 12-14ish)... It honestly takes everything in me some days to not turn around and give him a "please consider your audience" talk.

kgoldsmith1023 · January 2013

Wolfette139:
Go straight to HR. There is no reason to stoop to his level and risk getting in trouble yourself.

This

QueenBeeMama · January 2013

cruelsound:
Also, I would have no problem with standing up and telling him to can it.

I wish I had balls to do this. I'm generally pretty timid, go with the flow, and I just don't want to create an (any more) uncomfortable work environment. But I think eventually, I'm going to have to say something. I just got the low down on the apartment above him being cool because he was "banging his chick" last night and hit his head on the ceiling because "Sh** was buckwild"...

kali55 · January 2013

nlscroggins:
i think i would have to call him out to his face and say something like "you know i can hear every single thing you're saying, right?" or something like that to let him maybe get the hint that not everyone wants to hear his nonsense.

I agree with this, or you could passively aggressively print off something about manners and ettiquette in the work place and leave it on his desk

Mrs. Mo · January 2013

cruelsound:
I'm the butthole who would totally record it with my phone and tuck it away in a safe place.

Definitely do this but have the "safe place" be HR as actual proof of what he says (in case he comes back to say you are lying).

gamergirl522 · January 2013

Yeah, I would record it (just in case) and go to HR. This is considered sexual harassment, even if he's not talking to you directly.

QueenBeeMama · January 2013

jefa621:
QueenBeeMama:

cruelsound:
Also, I would have no problem with standing up and telling him to can it.

I wish I had balls to do this. I'm generally pretty timid, go with the flow, and I just don't want to create an (any more) uncomfortable work environment. But I think eventually, I'm going to have to say something. I just got the low down on the apartment above him being cool because he was "banging his chick" last night and hit his head on the ceiling because "Sh** was buckwild"...

Now is the time. Stand up and say "this kind of talk is inappropriate for the workplace and if it continues I'll be forced to say something to HR." Then sit back down. If he harasses you for commenting, you go straight to HR.

Ya, next time he says something I think I'm going to go for it. It's just been getting ridiculous lately. And the man he is discussing this with looks just as uncomfortable as I am.

tinydove · January 2013

The first thing that crosses my mind when I overhear some lame shiiiit like that is "this moron is probably just looking for attention and trying to look cool." My guess would be that a majority of what he says completely made up.

Either way, definitely an HR thing. I'm sure you can't be the only one overhearing it. Fabricated or not, no one needs to hear that at work. (Or anywhere for that matter, but that's just my opinion).

tinydove · January 2013

QueenBeeMama:
jefa621:
QueenBeeMama:

cruelsound:
Also, I would have no problem with standing up and telling him to can it.

I wish I had balls to do this. I'm generally pretty timid, go with the flow, and I just don't want to create an (any more) uncomfortable work environment. But I think eventually, I'm going to have to say something. I just got the low down on the apartment above him being cool because he was "banging his chick" last night and hit his head on the ceiling because "Sh** was buckwild"...

Now is the time. Stand up and say "this kind of talk is inappropriate for the workplace and if it continues I'll be forced to say something to HR." Then sit back down. If he harasses you for commenting, you go straight to HR.

Ya, next time he says something I think I'm going to go for it. It's just been getting ridiculous lately. And the man he is discussing this with looks just as uncomfortable as I am.

I saw this after my last post. That is totally made up, has to be. This guy makes me picture Drew from Office Space.

QueenBeeMama · January 2013

tinydove:
QueenBeeMama:
jefa621:
QueenBeeMama:

cruelsound:
Also, I would have no problem with standing up and telling him to can it.

I wish I had balls to do this. I'm generally pretty timid, go with the flow, and I just don't want to create an (any more) uncomfortable work environment. But I think eventually, I'm going to have to say something. I just got the low down on the apartment above him being cool because he was "banging his chick" last night and hit his head on the ceiling because "Sh** was buckwild"...

Now is the time. Stand up and say "this kind of talk is inappropriate for the workplace and if it continues I'll be forced to say something to HR." Then sit back down. If he harasses you for commenting, you go straight to HR.

Ya, next time he says something I think I'm going to go for it. It's just been getting ridiculous lately. And the man he is discussing this with looks just as uncomfortable as I am.

I saw this after my last post. That is totally made up, has to be. This guy makes me picture Drew from Office Space.

Hand to God, I heard it. Could he have made it up, ya... lets just say at his height, I dont see the ceiling being an issue unless his bed is a trampoline

tinydove · January 2013

QueenBeeMama:
tinydove:
QueenBeeMama:
jefa621:
QueenBeeMama:

cruelsound:
Also, I would have no problem with standing up and telling him to can it.

I wish I had balls to do this. I'm generally pretty timid, go with the flow, and I just don't want to create an (any more) uncomfortable work environment. But I think eventually, I'm going to have to say something. I just got the low down on the apartment above him being cool because he was "banging his chick" last night and hit his head on the ceiling because "Sh** was buckwild"...

Now is the time. Stand up and say "this kind of talk is inappropriate for the workplace and if it continues I'll be forced to say something to HR." Then sit back down. If he harasses you for commenting, you go straight to HR.

Ya, next time he says something I think I'm going to go for it. It's just been getting ridiculous lately. And the man he is discussing this with looks just as uncomfortable as I am.

I saw this after my last post. That is totally made up, has to be. This guy makes me picture Drew from Office Space.

Hand to God, I heard it. Could he have made it up, ya... lets just say at his height, I dont see the ceiling being an issue unless his bed is a trampoline

That's hilarious. I'm sure he made it up, hopefully his audience knows that. Well, good luck. Hopefully it's addressed quickly.

QueenBeeMama · January 2013

tinydove:
QueenBeeMama:
tinydove:
QueenBeeMama:
jefa621:
QueenBeeMama:

cruelsound:
Also, I would have no problem with standing up and telling him to can it.

I wish I had balls to do this. I'm generally pretty timid, go with the flow, and I just don't want to create an (any more) uncomfortable work environment. But I think eventually, I'm going to have to say something. I just got the low down on the apartment above him being cool because he was "banging his chick" last night and hit his head on the ceiling because "Sh** was buckwild"...

Now is the time. Stand up and say "this kind of talk is inappropriate for the workplace and if it continues I'll be forced to say something to HR." Then sit back down. If he harasses you for commenting, you go straight to HR.

Ya, next time he says something I think I'm going to go for it. It's just been getting ridiculous lately. And the man he is discussing this with looks just as uncomfortable as I am.

I saw this after my last post. That is totally made up, has to be. This guy makes me picture Drew from Office Space.

Hand to God, I heard it. Could he have made it up, ya... lets just say at his height, I dont see the ceiling being an issue unless his bed is a trampoline

That's hilarious. I'm sure he made it up, hopefully his audience knows that. Well, good luck. Hopefully it's addressed quickly.

Another lesson to be learned from this: Apparently I need to watch office space. Googled clips because I had no idea what you were talking about haha

tinydove · January 2013

QueenBeeMama:
tinydove:
QueenBeeMama:
tinydove:
QueenBeeMama:
jefa621:
QueenBeeMama:

cruelsound:
Also, I would have no problem with standing up and telling him to can it.

I wish I had balls to do this. I'm generally pretty timid, go with the flow, and I just don't want to create an (any more) uncomfortable work environment. But I think eventually, I'm going to have to say something. I just got the low down on the apartment above him being cool because he was "banging his chick" last night and hit his head on the ceiling because "Sh** was buckwild"...

Now is the time. Stand up and say "this kind of talk is inappropriate for the workplace and if it continues I'll be forced to say something to HR." Then sit back down. If he harasses you for commenting, you go straight to HR.

Ya, next time he says something I think I'm going to go for it. It's just been getting ridiculous lately. And the man he is discussing this with looks just as uncomfortable as I am.

I saw this after my last post. That is totally made up, has to be. This guy makes me picture Drew from Office Space.

Hand to God, I heard it. Could he have made it up, ya... lets just say at his height, I dont see the ceiling being an issue unless his bed is a trampoline

That's hilarious. I'm sure he made it up, hopefully his audience knows that. Well, good luck. Hopefully it's addressed quickly.

Another lesson to be learned from this: Apparently I need to watch office space. Googled clips because I had no idea what you were talking about haha

One of my favorite movies, definitely worth a watch.

QueenBeeMama · January 2013

krptcmschfmkr128:
mishkaroni:
You need to get a backbone and go to HR, a manager or at the very least say something to him. You are enabling the situation by sitting there NOT doing anything. That type of conduct is inappropriate in the work place and didn't need to be tolerated.
This. If it really bothered you, you would have said something to someone by now. It sort of seems like you just want commiseration on the whole scenario.

It was more or less a vent, but seeing others reactions validated that I'm not just being over sensitive, so ya, I'm going to be saying something now.

Harr1030 · January 2013

Those derogatory remarks are inappropriate in the workplace. It could be construed as sexual harassment even if not directed at you because it offends you.. Is there a human resource department you could go to ?

bootsiebabe · January 2013

nlscroggins:
i think i would have to call him out to his face and say something like "you know i can hear every single thing you're saying, right?" or something like that to let him maybe get the hint that not everyone wants to hear his nonsense.

This! It is amazing how many people who are like this coworker would be utterly mortified for somebody to call them out. He probably thinks that he can get away with whatever he wants because nobody is going to stand up to him. As soon as you assert yourself, even just a little, I bet he cools it down.

RayRay007 · January 2013

jefa621:
Even overhearing comments like that falls under the harassment category in the workplace. I would mention to him that he needs to shut up about it at work and if it continues, go to HR.

Yeah, I was going to say it could constitute harassment and you should talk to him, a super or HR.

sueann911 · January 2013

GhostMonkey:
How is it even a question if you should take this to HR?

This. Plus, I'm under the mindset that if you're not willing to go to HR about it, then you shouldn't complain about it. Biitching about it without actually doing something that you're legally able to do is pointless.

Adam&Eve2 · January 2013

Just take him to this museum exhibit while explaining what goes ob when a woman gives birth. It should shut him up.

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