LOs' coping mechanisms

becasmeca · January 2013

What does your LO do when angry or upset?

Bo started to put his fingers in his mouth and pull forward on his bottom teeth. It makes me soooo sad. I am trying so hard to show him we can talk.. calm down and redirect his attention with hopes to alleviate his frustration.

I guess I should get to reading about this Confused I DO NOT want this to become a way he calms himself in the future. And where did this come from? Did I do something wrong?

missbrightside10 · January 2013

He makes a frustrated sound. I can't describe it. He also looks like he is going to cry but once he figures it, or I do for him, he is fine. I've been trying to tell Max to use his words which is hard because he isn't saying much yet.

GVSU-04 · January 2013

He'll swing his arm at whatever's in front of him in a sweeping motion and either throw whatever he's holding or knock something over. No advice though.

mama31 · January 2013

She sucks her thumb and she will also pull on me until she gets attention.

mnewlee · January 2013

When she's frustrated she'll just make frustrated sounds. she's recently started signing help (which she kind of made up herself but is pretty close to the actual help sign) so that seems to be helping with the frustration levels.

When she's upset (usually scared, nervous) she'll cover up her eyes with her arm. It's recently become something she does whenever she's doing something she knows she's not supposed to. Like playing with the trash can, she'll do it with one arm over her eyes.

Don't beat yourself up, Becca. They have so many feelings but so few words at this age, frustration is totally normal.

Yasiris1105 · January 2013

Matthew cries and sometimes he bites himself, not exactly bite is like holding his arm with his teeth and pulling out. I don't see teeth marks so that's why I know he is not biting biting

GingerNess · January 2013

T likes to slam here butt down on the ground a few times and makes fists while grunting till her face turns red. She also sometimes will throw something or knock something over.

Man, typing that out makes me think I have a really angry kid.

vaohara · January 2013

William has really been getting frustrated lately. Partly bc he has cabin fever. We've been in the house since Thursday bc he has been sick with a fever and crusty snot all over the place. So the past few days he has gotten more frustrated than normal and does a lot of stuff pp have mentioned. He shakes his head back and forth, puts his arms up and swings at whatever is annoying him, he's started throwing his books and toys and when I ask him not to he does it even more (I've actually put some toys in time out bc of this), he sits down and cries and then will eventually suck his thumb. He had a couple complete melt downs and was completely inconsolable and the only thing I could do was put a cartoon on. I know that's terrible. I do "use your words" and I'm trying to label his feelings for him but sometimes Disney junior is necessary. Like I said the last 5 days have been torture, we are all sick, and sometimes the TV is just what the doctor ordered

Anyway, don't feel bad Beca. I think as mommys we want to do everything right and we are giving it our all and that can never be wrong. I know I want the best perfect little toddler but that's not going to happen. I'm sure he will have some quirks and some may be bc of me despite my efforts to be perfect but as long as he is well cared for and grows into an honorable person I will have done my job. I can't worry about every decision I make being wrong, there are much bigger goals to strive for. I'm sure you have done everything right, you seem like a great mom!

covertxxamour · January 2013

M will normally hit something, which is better than hitting someone but still frustrating. She will hit whatever she's close to and sometimes ends up hurting herself more. I try to grab her and hug her, but it doesn't always work. She also tends to bite her hand or wrist when she's upset too. Breaks my heart.

You didn't do anything wrong, Becca! They just don't know any other way of communicating yet. I convinced myself that it will get better in time.

alli&dan · January 2013

B balls up her little hands into fists, stiffens her body and growls or makes other frustrated noises. If I'm trying to lead her away from something by holding her hand she sits down on the floor. She's also started to do the jelly baby when I pick her up if she's mad.

hisaak · January 2013

Becca, don't feed badly, it is a normal part of their development. At this stage they just don't have enough words to express their intense emotions yet.

When Halle gets really upset she bangs her head on the floor, or throws herself backwards ... We have been trying really hard on getting her to use words instead (she has a pretty big vocabulary) though as it can get pretty intense otherwise.

Ms5586 · January 2013

He'll smacks us or something near him, smack his head, or pull his hair. I agree Beca, it's heartbreaking to see. As soon as I see his frustration I get down on his level, talk to him softly so he needs to stop to be able to hear me, and then go from there depending on the situation (helping him sign "help" if it's a task he can't do, etc).

And you absolutely DID NOT do anything wrong. Everyone has coping mechanisms, but ours are much more internal than theirs.

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