I'm on the edge!

pinkswimmer · January 2013

Hi everyone it's been a while since I've been on here... I just it was just too much. But I'm realizing that I need someone. Something. I'm too the point that I was ready to being really trying again we have saved money and I was ready to jump in. BUT now I feel like I'm in this alone my husband saw some thing onIVF on the news and came home and said we are waiting until we lose weight. I have been waiting too long! Then of course three friends "accidentally" end up pregnant. I'm heart broken! I'm hurt! I feel worthless! I feel like it was all something I did. I feel like my time is never going to come. And I'm just done. I'm done with friends! I'm done with family! I'm done with Facebook! I'm just in such a bad place! and honestly I am an optimistic person who tries and tries to look at the positive side. I can always see the light at the end of the tunnel! Now... There is no light. I'm lost.

Sorry to put this on you guys. just hurt and feel like I'm left alone to fight this battle!

ttc23 · January 2013

I really feel for you. Infertility is so hard and very much a rollercoaster- it sounds like you're at the bottom at the moment Distraction and focusing on the good things helps me but sometimes you've just got to ride the bad times and know that things will change. Thoughts are with you

jadwedd · January 2013

Maybe if you explain to dh how you feel. I tried for years to lose weight before I went for help (I am extremely overweight.) And I could never get enough off. And there is something to be said for age too. So you have to consider which is better, lose weight or try when you are older. My doctor was not very concerned about my weight. Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

jezebel57 · January 2013

i hear ya on the waiting. it sucks. when i started this IF battle it was in 2009/2010 and i was very overweight. i always got the "you should try to lose weight" speech from all my dr's, but the RE I was seeing said nothing. after 6 failed cycles, including 3 IUI's we went for a second opinion at UPenn in Philadelphia. She showed us studies that the success rate increases significantly the lower BMI you are (specifically under 30). At that point my husband put the breaks on TTC and I started getting serious about losing weight. After 6 months of going back and forth, I finally decided the only way I could do it for real was weight loss surgery. It was a huge decision, one I am thankful for every day that I had the courage to make. 16 months later I am 120 pounds lighter, my BMI is under 30, and I am proud that I am giving my body the best chance I can to have a successful pregnancy. In the meantime, those 12 months before we started naturally trying again were soooooo sloooowwwww. But, I'm glad I waited and am in a better place.

Do what works for you, your husband, and your doctor. Your decision you make will be the best one for you!

LaineyPaney · January 2013

Age vs. weight thing: your hubby saw some snippet on the news. In a talking appt with an RE, address the age vs. weight thing and do so with hubby present so that he can hear the news and suggestions from the RE himself.

Good luck.

BootsOrHearts · January 2013

LaineyPaney:
Age vs. weight thing: your hubby saw some snippet on the news. In a talking appt with an RE, address the age vs. weight thing and do so with hubby present so that he can hear the news and suggestions from the RE himself. Good luck.

This is good advice. See what your RE says. These are hard decisions to make.

*hugs*

LuClo · January 2013

Sorry you're having such a hard IF day. We're all here for you. Give yourself permission to just be miserable for the day; don't feel bad about it. This is so hard in so many ways that you can't beat yourself up on top of it.

There are things every one of us could do to have "better chances". You could lose weight, or take more vitamins, or take better vitamins, or eat pineapple core until you puke, or have more sex, or have less sex, or stand on your head after sex, or 'just relax'. There are a hundreds of women who get pregnant every day and don't do any of that. There's nothing you did/didn't do that's causing you to not be pregnant. IF is a medical condition. It's outside your control and no more your fault than cancer. And f*ck anyone who tries to make you feel otherwise.

dede0726 · January 2013

LuClo:
Sorry you're having such a hard IF day. We're all here for you. Give yourself permission to just be miserable for the day; don't feel bad about it. This is so hard in so many ways that you can't beat yourself up on top of it.
There are things every one of us could do to have "better chances". You could lose weight, or take more vitamins, or take better vitamins, or eat pineapple core until you puke, or have more sex, or have less sex, or stand on your head after sex, or 'just relax'. There are a hundreds of women who get pregnant every day and don't do any of that. There's nothing you did/didn't do that's causing you to not be pregnant. IF is a medical condition. It's outside your control and no more your fault than cancer. And f*ck anyone who tries to make you feel otherwise.

THIS!! Sometimes we need a day to be pissed off and angry about our situations, today is your day and I hope tomorrow is a better day for you!!

pinkswimmer · January 2013

LuClo:
Sorry you're having such a hard IF day. We're all here for you. Give yourself permission to just be miserable for the day; don't feel bad about it. This is so hard in so many ways that you can't beat yourself up on top of it.
There are things every one of us could do to have "better chances". You could lose weight, or take more vitamins, or take better vitamins, or eat pineapple core until you puke, or have more sex, or have less sex, or stand on your head after sex, or 'just relax'. There are a hundreds of women who get pregnant every day and don't do any of that. There's nothing you did/didn't do that's causing you to not be pregnant. IF is a medical condition. It's outside your control and no more your fault than cancer. And f*ck anyone who tries to make you feel otherwise.

seriously! You are amazing! This is what I needed to hear! I am so happy you said it since no one else around me will! Btw (even though I don't know you) you should move closer! ) lol I need someone like you! just saying! Thanks!

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