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Natural Birth
LindseyJW
member
did you have a doula at your birth?
LindseyJW
member
i recently became a birth doula (woot woot!) and i'm seeking feedback from moms who had doulas.
1. what did your doula do for you during your birthing?
2. what did you wish she had done?
3. what did you wish she had not done?
4. how many times did you meet with your doula before your birthing?
5. what did you do at those meetings? what was useful? what did you feel was a waste of time?
6. would you hire that same doula again? why or why not?
i'm finding there are so many models of care and i'd love to get real feedback from what moms like and don't like (though as wide as the models of care are, i suspect that what you did and didn't like may vary just as much!).
thanks for answering!
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Re: did you have a doula at your birth?
1. what did your doula do for you during your birthing? She was amazing! We let her know when I was in early labor so that she could get organized and ready. She came to our house after I had been laboring for @ 6 hours. As I had an anterior placenta so she helped me get into positions that would help LO turn into a more favorable position. I spent alot of time on my hands and knees and doing hip rotations during contractions so LO would turn. She applied counter pressure and poured hot water over my back to help ease my back labor. She also make sure I had water and was drinking/peeing often. She wiped my brow when I was pushing to help keep me cool. She showed H how to rub my back, and support me in positions when I was in triage. During delivery I did freak out a bit because of the pressure in my lady bits. I asked from a shot of painkiller. She calmed me down and told me I was crazy for wanting a painkiller because LO was almost here. I liked her no nonsense attitude and straightforward nature. After I delivered LO she helped me position her for BF and told me how great I did. She came back for a post part visit and spent 2 hours with me. I thought that was awesome as a FTM because I had some many questions and it was nice to talk to someone.
2. what did you wish she had done? She was great.
3. what did you wish she had not done? I wished she had got more clarification from the nurse when I had the urge to push. I had the urge to push and the nurse checked me. I was only 8 cm. No one really told me what to do and the nurse was not clear on what to do. The doula told me to try to not push because I was not fully dilated. I had to work through a few contractions and then I finally had to start pushing. The doula told me afterwards that she has never encountered that situation and should have had H ask the nurse for more clarification on how I should have proceeded. In the end it was not a big deal to me but I wish we had known exactly what to do.
4. how many times did you meet with your doula before your birthing? 2.
5. what did you do at those meetings? what was useful? what did you feel was a waste of time? I had an initial interview where I got a sense of her personality. We then had a per-natal visit at 36 weeks. She spent about 2 hours with me getting an idea of what H and I wanted during our labor, how prepared we were, what our plans were ect. I loved the meetings. H and I took Bradley classes and were prepared but we wanted someone who had experience and knowledge since we were delivering in the hospital. I never felt like she rushed the meetings and she was always available for contact via phone/email.
6. would you hire that same doula again? why or why not? YES! I hope she is available next year when we have our next LO!
1. I had an OP baby and a lot of back labour, so she did a lot of hip compression and back counterpressure, and showed DH how to do the same effectively. They did both at the same time, which was great, and swapped places frequently to avoid fatigue. She helped us decide when to go to the hospital. She stayed with me in the ER check-in while DH parked the car. She stuck up for me when the nurse got bossy with stupid things like "lets get her on her back".
2. Nothing, she was great.
3. Nothing, she was great.
4. 3 meetings prior to birth, one with both "my" doula and the backup that actually ended up attending my birth.
5. Discussed what I wanted, what I didn't want, talked a bit about labour and birth. It didn't feel like a waste of time, it was empowering and calming. She lent me books, too.
6. Yes, although the hard part will be choosing between the doula we hired last time and the back up that actually attended the birth. I might let DH pick, as he's actually the one that works with her.
My doula was just very practical, confident, and calm. That's what we wanted and what we got. She worked well with my doctor, who was entirely fine with me having a doula.
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thanks ladies!!
and tokenhoser, congrats on the new LO on the way!
Thanks, I'm excited to do it again!
Well, excited and a little terrified, but mostly excited. I'm planning to email a doula after our u/s next week. I thought about skipping it to save the money, but DH really thinks it's worth it and it's hard to argue with that!
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1. what did your doula do for you during your birthing?
She advocated for me with the nursing staff so that I could use the tub even after my water broke. She rubbed my back, got water, provided an alternative to how my husband was comforting me (both were great but it was nice to have clear change to help me through things), she helped me get breastfeeding started right afterward.
2. what did you wish she had done?
Hm. I think more massage this time (I'm hiring the same doula for this birth that I had last time). I'll talk with her a little more about the types of language that I find encouraging instead of the traditional earth goddess phrases that made me side eye during labor. I think I'll talk more with her about guided meditation and the images that help me to internalize and focus. Mostly things that I didn't even realize myself until after the birth.
3. what did you wish she had not done?
Everything she did was great. I got mad at her for telling me I was afraid during pushing but when I think back to it she was right and I wasn't able to fully process my feelings at the time.
4. how many times did you meet with your doula before your birthing?
She was our Bradley teacher so I saw her for 8 weeks and also met with her twice at our home.
5. what did you do at those meetings? what was useful? what did you feel was a waste of time?
We talked about my feelings on birth, about questions I had, things she felt I might need to know but may not realize I needed to know, about my breastfeeding goals (my doula is also a certified lactation consultant), newborn care, all sorts of things.
This time around we're meeting a couple times but she's been great at talking through my concerns about my prenatal care, helping me find a new OB, giving me opinions from other moms about their OB/midwife experiences. All sorts of stuff like that. We email at least once a week to just check in on the pregnancy and how things are progressing.
6. would you hire that same doula again? why or why not?
I already did! I considered going with a different doula if I had a home birth but that ended up not being an option. The reason I considered it was because I know another doula who is really into dance/massage/yoga during labor to help moms through and I feel that would be a great perspective for me since I tend to shutdown and curl up when in pain instead of moving through it. However, she has a quieter personality like I do and one of the big things for me is to have a doula who's bossy enough to school a nurse/hospital staff in the event that my wishes aren't being honored. The doula I am having is a politely assertive woman who has absolutely no problem speaking up about anything she thinks might be contrary to what I want. I know myself well enough to know I could be bullied by a nurse and so I've been very honest with my doula in letting her know that I need her to play bouncer as well as support.
I came to my doula pretty late because of a relocation so that may factor in to some of my answers.
1. I must admit, not a whole lot. But that wasn't because she wouldn't do anything or didn't know what to do. It was because I didn't need her to do anything. Two things that stand out most are a) recommending when to head to the birth center. I say this because I was in such a groove and coping so well that I never felt the "we need to go now!" I probably would have had the child at home if she hadn't suggested we go based on what I was telling her, etc. And b) she had a hand held fan that she used on me right after I delivered DD. Awwwwww, it was glorious to have some air movement to cool me off! Sounds goofy, but she says that her clients always rave about the fan.
2. My doula makes a point to not linger after a birth. She tells mothers up front that she wants the family to bond, etc. I just wish she wouldn't have hurried out and just made sure there wasn't anything we needed (running for food, offer to take pictures, etc). I certainly don't mean I wanted her to stay for hours but maybe more than the 15 minutes it felt like she was there. And she was only with me for about 2 hours anyway since I birthed so quickly!
3. Nothing.
4. & 5. I think only once besides the initial interview. We did talk a couple of times via email & phone. This was my second child so I didn't have a lot of questions or need anything from her. Plus, I was giving birth at the birth center where everything I would have put in a birth plan was standard so I didn't need to go over any of those things. I honestly don't recall really what we went over!
6. Yes, absolutely. She has become a great friend and if I were to have more children I would certainly want her present.
awesome!
and thanks to the ladies above who also posted!