- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Baby Showers
KandAP87
member
Mother is stressing me out!!! Vent
KandAP87
member
in Baby Showers
So long story short my mom, mil and sil are starting to plan my baby shower. My mil asked if I wanted it to be a surprise or if I much rather know about it and I told her I would like to know. We started to discuss dates as my birthday is near my edd, and decided on a date. I called my mom to fill her in on what we decided for a date and then she got mad that we didn't involve her.... If this is any insight as to how the rest of the planning is going to go, I think I may be bald by the time I have my baby from ripping my hair out!!!
Any other ladies experience issues while multiple family members tried to plan their shower!? Please tell me I'm not the only one lol
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Mother is stressing me out!!! Vent
showers stress me out BIG time - that said mine will be a surprise because "that's what we do" ugh - lol!
so DH is in the loop with everything to make sure my wishes are being heard even though "I don't know anything..." so DH basically got stuck in the middle because SO many people were involved in picking a date and apparently someone who I really want to be there can't. While that sucks I'll live and I'm sure whoever this person is and I can spend some pre/post baby time going to lunch or something fun so no big deal.
My biggest issue is I TOLD THEM all my mom, mil, sil, aunts.... you get the idea, that they needed to discuss a date before Christmas well I guess they finally realize I was right
Don't get me wrong I am SUPER lucky and happy they all want to be part of my shower planning but if I had to guess there are 6 people MAJORLY involved in the planning and I'm sure another 3-4 who were consulted on the date before it was picked lol
The date needs to work for everyone (including you). Maybe you can give them the dates that will work for you and let them decide?
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
Expecting Baby Bean February 2017
Sorry to say but you made a huge mistake here. Your mom is a hostess too and she should have been equally involved in selecting a date. You completely left her out!
What if she were unavailable on the date you chose? Would you expect she continue to host a shower that she couldn't attend? Would you be upset that your own mother wasn't AT your shower?
I mean, where was the common sense that should have dicatated that your course of action be to see which of the dates that you, MIL and SIL found worked for you ALSO worked for your mom BEFORE finalizing the date??
I bet your mom is wondering, "If this is any insight as to how the rest of the planning is going to go, I think I may be bald by the time my daughter has her baby....!!! "
This. I never understand people who are all "this is so stressful helping to plan." That's exactly why the MTB doesn't help plan! Sit back and let them plan a nice party for you.
Where is the advice for OP in this rambling woe-is-me saga?
My mom is driving me nuts too! She is the primary host of the shower and my sister is helping a lot too... I think she was expecting more help paying for it from my MIL who instead offerred to get the cake.... The problem? My mom didn't say she WANTED/NEEDED help paying for it and expected everyone to read her mind!!!
Then my MIL who isn't contributing financially added TONS of people to the invite list... Even if they don't come though, their family is bad at RSVPing and we did regrets only (smooth move mom)... so we really have about 30 people that we know are coming but we have to expect 65 because even people out of town/state (per MIL) didn't RSVP their regrets...
In the mean-time my mom is treating me as the go-between... "Ask DH's mom this..." "Can you check with her about that"...
GAH! I can't wait til this weekend is over!!! That probably didn't help... sorry LOL!
If this is how it works for your family that is awesome - can I join?
In my family it is pretty much expected that MTB and Brides help somewhat with the shower (addressing invites - compiling guest lists - putting together favors - wrapping prizes, etc.) otherwise it is looked at like "she just expects everything to be done for her"
And even providing phone numbers and contact info some of us still end up in the middle of everything - especially when there are two different families involved.