Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: women should just suck it up?!
That was my first thought, too.
And I sucked it up for around 36 hours of back labor before I got my epi, and I stalled as long as I could on the c-section.
This makes me so mad! Do people realize that it's not a matter of "sucking it up" but doing what's in the best interest of the baby and safety?!?!?!
I can suck up a lot of pain, but I'm not risking a negative outcome for my baby for anything!
What she said is infuriating!!
When my daughter was born 5 1/2 years ago, I went into labor on my own 11 days after her due date and after 22 hours I had only progressed to 3 cm. The hospital that I was at is in a small town in Northern Iowa and epidurals were not available until you reached at least 6 cm. The doctors decided that even if I progressed I'd be too tired to push. I suppose that's the point I should have "sucked it up" as this midwife said?
My daughter ended up being born and looking like she had a cantelope in her stomach. She has cystic fibrosis, which we did not know before she was born, and the thick mucus had ruptured a hole in her small intestine causing mechonium to fill her abdomen. If I had tried to have her naturally, we would have lost her before they realized anything was wrong and got me to surgery. I wonder if this midwife would have told me to "suck it up" then as well?
I carried my child for 9 months, went through 22 hours of labor with no drugs (not saying anything bad about epidurals - I would have totally taken them if they were available), and then sat by her side in the NICU for 3 months until we could take her home. I wasn't able to breast feed her and I pumped for 6 weeks before they told me that my milk wasn't as beneficial as some of the formulas that could help her gain weight and go home faster.
I put my pride aside and did everything I could to ensure my daughter's safety. I didn't have a vaginal delivery and I didn't breast feed and I feel like every bit of a mother as anyone else. I get so tired of the judgement that comes along with c-sections. I will never understand why women can't just be supportive of one another and have to "one-up" others all the time. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but come on... Had that midwife been in the room with me when all this was going on I'm pretty sure she would have changed her tune.
Don't let anyone make you feel like less of an AMAZING person because you created life and now you're raising your child to the best of your abilities! Congrats on being AWESOME!!
I have a difficult time believing that her Midwife really said that. I think she may have edited her response..a bit.
Midwives are educated - and know that while they (IMO) manage a normal, healthy pregnancy better than MD's, there is a time and a place for MD's.
C Sections are performed too much in our country, this is true. However, many are life saving for both Mom and baby.
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
It is nice to see this post. A couple months after I gave birth to my son via c-section, I went to a work party with my husband. One of his co-worker's wives is a doula and told me something very similar--that I could have had a natural birth if I had really wanted it. Shocked and still a little post-partum, I felt the need to inform her that his heart rate kept drastically dropping causing the doctor rush into the room and that having him naturally was not worth the risk to me when his heart rate is dropping. Kind of ended that conversation quickly. But I'm happy to say I have a healthy 15 month old and I credit that to the doctors making the quick and safe decision.
OMG I would have hit that lady. I was like you...in active labor, fully dialated and pushing for hours. When they told me that I needed to have a c-section I CRIED!! It took my husband telling me it was the best for the baby for me to say ok. She definately has it wrong....we had to suck it up and let them cut us open and pump us full of drugs that make you crazy after to do what is best for our baby!!