Blended Families

I was thinking

If I do not pay my phone, cable, water or electricity every month then they shut them off....I think if a man does not pay his child support then something should be cut off....I am so sick of catch up then fall three months behind.  I wish there was a way for everyone to know that although they have gone on three vacations in the last three months they have not bothered to pay child support. I know that three months is not near as bad as some people but damn I am sick to death of it.

Re: I was thinking

  • Hearing this frustrates me fromt he other end of it. I am BM that has to pay child support to my ex, we have joint and I make more money. I paid my child support every month but because he applied for welfare I got called into my bosses office to tell me they were deducting my child support from my paycheck. I was so embarrassed!!

    I am not trying to sound like I am not on your side my point is if they crawl up in my butt and I WAS PAYING!! There should be something for people who are not getting their CS. My friends told her ex he needed to pay his portion of doctors bill he said no it is in her name deal with it!! He skips on CS too!

     

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  • I completely agree. If the parent who is ordered to pay CS falls behind, even by one month, there needs to be consequences. Suspend their Driver's License, charge them with contempt, SOMETHING. Because when there aren't consequences, the parent feels emboldened and invincible and the behavior escalates.

    DC owes me more than 20k in CS and after 7 YEARS the State finally decide it was time to step in. Imagine if the State had done something right away? It would have never gotten this far.
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  • I agree! My ex didn;t pay child support for over 6 months and fell behind $2000. His tax return was taken in order to pay off his debt and he's only paying now because he has to (we're in and out of court every few months) but he's already begun falling behind. I was told if he gets behind they start pulling things like driver's licenses, fishing licenses ect but when he fell behind $2 grand they did nothing...not even threatened him. When I walked into his apartment last January he had a huge flat screen TV, new LCD computer screen, Wii system, PS3 and a new Lazy Boy recliner...but you know he couldn't afford child support for the last 6 months...
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  • BF lurker here.... My ex owes almost 18K in back support... He's been put in jail twice for non-payment. Which doesn't make sense to me because if he's in jail (or even work release but they can't go farther than a certain amount of miles), he's not going to be making the money to pay back the support anyway. I agree something needs to be done to make them accountable. I've only gotten his tax return back one year, and his paychecks get garnished, but because they can only take up to a certain percentage, it never equals the full amount he's supposed to be paying. I'll get something every other week, but the arrears keep adding up. AND it gets reported to the credit bureaus.
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  • BD is 10K behind. But he pays at least SOMETHING every 3 months so they won't do anything. Although, I do get his tax refund & he's not allowed to get a passport.
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  • imagejennipalmer:

    Hearing this frustrates me fromt he other end of it. I am BM that has to pay child support to my ex, we have joint and I make more money. I paid my child support every month but because he applied for welfare I got called into my bosses office to tell me they were deducting my child support from my paycheck. I was so embarrassed!!

    I am not trying to sound like I am not on your side my point is if they crawl up in my butt and I WAS PAYING!! There should be something for people who are not getting their CS. My friends told her ex he needed to pay his portion of doctors bill he said no it is in her name deal with it!! He skips on CS too!

    I do not blame you I would be frustrated by that also, when you are paying and they want to punish you for something that is out of your control.  I have the Dr. bill issue also, he never pays any of his portion. 

  • I agree that it is totally unfair how the courts enforce CS. What good is it to have the BD/BM locked up? You don't get money that way. Letting the back CS get out of hand (18,000 or even 2,000) where there's no way BD/BM can ever catch up is beyond crazy!

    Are you eligible for any sort of assistance from the government? It would be nice for you (and your credit) to be able to stay current - with or without CS!

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  • image&babymakes5:
    If I do not pay my phone, cable, water or electricity every month then they shut them off....I think if a man does not pay his child support then something should be cut off....I am so sick of catch up then fall three months behind.  I wish there was a way for everyone to know that although they have gone on three vacations in the last three months they have not bothered to pay child support. I know that three months is not near as bad as some people but damn I am sick to death of it.

    Or a woman.....BM # 1 never pays her child support and when she does it's never the full amount. 

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  • imageSunday924:

    image&babymakes5:
    If I do not pay my phone, cable, water or electricity every month then they shut them off....I think if a man does not pay his child support then something should be cut off....I am so sick of catch up then fall three months behind.  I wish there was a way for everyone to know that although they have gone on three vacations in the last three months they have not bothered to pay child support. I know that three months is not near as bad as some people but damn I am sick to death of it.

    Or a woman.....BM # 1 never pays her child support and when she does it's never the full amount. 

    Your right I am sorry I did not include the women there are plenty of them out there to.

  • imagepiffle42:
    I would gladly wave the debt if he would let DH adopt DS. In our state he's also on the hook to pay for part of college.

    This is what I did. BF got about 8k behind. His CS payment wasn't that big so this took a while. CS enforcement  wouldn't do anything. They did try to revoke his license but by that point he was already driving without one so there was nothing to take away.

    I finally hired a lawyer and took him to court. You can't get blood from a stone but he was facing jail time so he agreed to let DH adopt DS to avoid that.

    I hate how the CS system works. DH has always paid his child support and before there was a CS order he paid a lot more that what a calculator would order. There was one time he got behind and it was because of an employer error. DH never had a choice on the garnishment in the first place. DH is responsible but is treated like a deadbeat by the child support system.

    BF on the other hand is an actual deadbeat dad. All of the things that CS claimed they could do to make him pay were a joke. BF owned nothing but some crappy clothes. I've seen actual homeless people who were better dressed. He mooched off of friends and lived on their couch. He worked for cash and only delt in cash to things like tax refunds and credit scores mean nothing to him.

    I hate how it seems like the current system only punishes responsible parents and lets the deadbeats off the hook.

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