I had a long week. DS was so tired but fighting it. In the back of my mind, I heard the voice of my doctor recommending that we let him fall asleep on his own. And against everything I believe in, I let him CIO.
He was giving me the "I don't like this" cry instead of his abandoned cry. After about 20 minutes, he was out. I feel guilty and invigorated all at once. I'm curious how the night will go now. Worst part is that I have to stay consistent with this each night now.
No one in my life would care. So thanks for letting me share. I need a journal.

Micah Leonard

Re: I gave in
It is such a hard thing to do! I did CIO for DD when she was around this age, although I never let her cry more than 15 minutes (one person told me she let her son cry for 4 hours!).
I still haven't been able to let DS cry for more than 5 minutes because he really has the abandoned cry. Last night he was awake for 2 hours and at the end he was so tired he couldn't sleep so I did let him cry for 5 minutes (after which I had to calm him down and then get him to sleep).
I know at some point I'll probably have to let him CIO, but he sleeps in our room and DH has to get up at 4 twice a week, so I'm afraid of ruining DH's sleep.
I hope it works well for you.
I had to do it after our dr visit on Wednesday. Doc has recommended CIO, and my DH will not go along. But J was so tired, and nothing was soothing him, so I just sat near his crib and let him know I was there. It took 50 minutes, but he did fall asleep.
Good luck on staying consistent! 20 minutes is not so bad, considering it was the first time!
wow! good for you! I have tried CIO but I can only last about 35 minutes. My heart breaks. I went into his room and sat by his crib which almost seemed to make it worse! He just cried harder. I'm not really sure what to do now.....I'm having a hard time with letting him cry at night. When I do give in I usually always have to give him a bottle to calm him down. Then, he eats and I feel bad like well maybe he was hungry
Yeah, it didn't work so well. He woke up a half hour after falling asleep, and gave me the "I better get the boob or I'm going to throw a fit" cry, so I nursed him and within 5 minutes, he was back down.
He was still up every 3-3.5 hours to nurse. I'm not ready to do CIO for the whole night yet. He's so accustomed to nursing throughout the night that I want to gradually wean him off of that, which will take some support from DH. Our doctor said that if we can get him to fall asleep on his own, that he'll wake less during the night. I'm not convinced that's accurate, but we'll give it a shot.
Oh, and I sat in his room for the first 15 minutes with the plan to soothe every 5, but I quickly realized that if he saw me and I didn't pick him up, it would turn into a panic cry with no end in sight. So I listened to make sure it was an annoyed cry, crawled out of the room around 15 minutes and spent the rest of it in my room (across the hall) listening. We'll keep trying.
Micah Leonard
Micah Leonard
Thank you. This is obviously a very personal decision, and I feel like any person IRL that I could talk to about this would be very black and white. Let them cry. Don't let them cry. But it's so much more than that.
Micah Leonard
I can agree with you about it being a personal decision. So many people tell me to put DS in his crib and let him "work it out".... He has not slept through the night once since we brought him home 9 months ago! I tried CIO once, and it didn't go over well.... He worked himself up so much he vomited in his crib.... I too am at a loss as to what to do. I know I could try again, but its me being nervous about it...I obviously want what is best for him.
I'm glad that it seems to be working for you though!
I don't think it would have worked for us a month ago. It definitely was all about timing, and I needed both myself and DS to be ready for the leap. He still has separation issues, but I know that last month or any earlier would have been a nightmare! It's so frustrating that people are always, "Oh, you just need to _____" as if it would be that simple! I hope you find a solution soon!
Micah Leonard