AW: DH Vent

tetiananina · January 2013

Jackson is 8 weeks old today, and I've done all the night shifts since we brought him home. I've never asked DH to get up even when he was home from work. I'm pumping so there is no point. I would have to pump so why have him get up. Occasionally when he's home in the morning I have him take Jackson so I can catch up on some sleep. Jackson eats about every 3 hours. We've had a few 5 hour sleeps but nothing that is consistent yet. So by time he's fed, changed, me pumped and put the milk away and clean the bottles and pumps I'm easily up for an hour. I can't leave them in the sink and do them later because it drives me crazy. So this morning he took Jackson at 8, and I slept til 10 it felt great. I was in no rush to get out of bed because the plans we had were for later or what I was under the impression so I was ready around 11:30. I was packing up my pump so I could pump while we were out and by time I was ready to go DH got a call saying his friends couldn't hold seats so we weren't going. We had planned on going to watch the Texans game and drop DS off at MIL. From last night it seemed like we weren't going their ALL DAY, just for the game. Well since they couldn't hold seats and based off the last texans game everything would be packed we are staying home. DH has been with DS all morning but I can tell he's irritated that we didn't go.

I wish for once he would see everything that I do. I was up after he went to sleep because we had friends over last night and I was cleaning up. Dishes done, dishwasher ran, finished the laundry since I couldn't do it during the day because DS has acid reflux and was not happy. I'm ok with that. But then I'm the bad wife because we left late.

No he hasn't said that but his body language says that!

Thank you for letting me vent! I hope all you ladies are having a great Sunday!

adoxyinherear · January 2013

Adjusting with a baby can be so rough. It gets better. *hugs*

martinimomma · January 2013

Ummm...at 8 weeks I had been out of the house for my 6 wk appt...and I think once to target when I was cleared to drive I had a Csxn. Im impressed as Helll that you're doing what you're doing or even trying. For real.

katigox · January 2013

I admire you for doing/trying as much as you do! I agree that it does get better, you just have to hang in there, and try to remember to just always take a step back and breathe. It's not going to be the same (and who wants that when you got such a miracle in your arms??), so don't try to get "back into the groove" ~ find yourself a new groove. If that means preparing differently for an outing, so be it.

But from what you described, it sounds more like it was a simple misunderstanding of a time constraint, as well as friends deciding they couldn't hold seats - so maybe, even if you had gotten ready earlier, it wouldn't have made a difference? I'm sure your DH understands that, and that's why he knows not to even bother getting mad with you (at least openly), because he knows that it wasn't your fault to begin with, but he's pondering the "what if's" of whether you having been ready earlier would have changed the outcome? That's just my two cents, based on what you described: hope tomorrow goes a bit smoother for you

SharonB222 · January 2013

Children are stressful and stress is difficult on a marriage. Hang in there!

The point of DH getting up to feed and change baby is that you can go back to sleep after you pump and not have to also feed and change the baby. Leave the bottles. Do it on a non-work night if DH has concerns. When I went back to work, even though I was EBF, DH was responsible for getting up and changing diapers every other night - those nights I could be half awake.

You "never asking" and his "body language" are warning signs to me of an explosion if communication isn't opened sooner ... in a kind way.

GL.

orangegoggles · January 2013

I'm sorry your day was ruined. I am seriously impressed that you are able to get out of the house at all and it seems like there was a miscommunication.

I know what you mean about wishing DH "got it" a little more. My DH is similar, he would never say anything but I can tell he's starting to get bored and antsy being home so much. It is definitely an adjustment and I am sure the older DS gets the easier it will be.

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