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October 2011 Moms
Stewartandmaura
member
I need your help- sleep related
Stewartandmaura
member
We are having major sleep issues here. It's nothing new, E's never been a great sleeper since she cut teeth, but I am at my wits end.
We put E down at night, usually around 8:30. After that she wakes up almost every hour. We have broken down and started letting her sleep with us, but she is still waking up, even in bed with us. She whines and grabs at me to nurse and then goes back to sleep for another hour or two.
We are trying to break her of both these habits, the night nursing and sleeping with us. Right now, I would just like her to stay asleep long enough that we can get through a tv show or movie without having to pause it to go put her back to sleep.
Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I need your help- sleep related
I do know that she is teething.
BUT, we haven't had more than a four hour stretch since the summer.
BFP #1 - 11/16/10 CP 12/1/10
Our team green turned into team pink!
BFP #2 17dpo - 47, 19dpo - 114 Chart
Move her bed time late, late, late. Wait until she is so damn tired she can't stand and then put her to bed. We were advised no earlier then 930. And then wake her at 630 no matter how poorly she slept. It sucks. But the payoff was fast. 4 or 5 nights and he slept through the night for the first time ever. Their sleep center reasoning is to condense the time in bed so greatly that they use every moment in bed to their benefit.
Now N asks to go to bed! Usually around 9 but occasionally earlier and wakes up somewhere between 630 and 730. How many naps does she take? If 2 only allow her to nap 1 hour each nap. If 1 than 2 hours.
It worked for us. Nothing else did. Moving his time up, CIO, cosleeping. Nothing. This was a miracle. To be honest, we were told we would have to do this with CIO but N had a hernia and I wasn't going to let him cry unchecked so we didn't. We lay with him until he falls asleep no crying necessary, just an overtired baby for a few days but it was worth it for everyone.
Good luck!
ETA: once she is sleeping through the night you start moving her bedtime up by 15 min a week until you are somewhere between 730 or 830 whatever works for her.
While normally, I am inclined to agree with you. There is a nagging doubt in the back of my head that wonders why she is waking so often. (Maybe I am the gullible, manipulated mommy
) Even if she is playing master manipulator after she wakes up to get me to come get her, she is still waking every hour or two, regardless of if she is in our bed or if I nurse her.
I do wonder if she is getting enough to eat during the day. She is 99% for height and only 12% for weight. So there is the possibility that she is hungry, but I can't get her to eat more during the day. She is offered food and milk all day long.
What is her sleep schedule? How long is she typically in bed and how long does she nap?
We went through this period with teething- it's worse when he's sick. Does she have a cold? Either way, the nursing is probably really helpful with that. At our 15month appointment my doctor was saying it's REALLY good for them to nurse at night through illness/teething if they need it. So I wouldn't be too concerned about dropping that quite yet.
DH was very much not about letting him sleep in bed with us, so I took him to the couch so we could both get some sleep. And again, that's really more for you then her, right? She's able to sleep in her crib no problem, but you get a little more sleep than having to get up with her wakeups. So you can quit that whenever you want, you just have to be prepared to get up!
The good news is, this, like every other baby phase DOES pass. I've been there and can tell you from the other side. Teething is awful. Sick kids are awful. And both are really hard on moms. BUT, neither is permanent and she should start sleeping better as soon as she starts feeling better. LBB wakes often when he doesn't feel well, but if he's his normal, healthy self, he drops all those wakeups.
The only thing you're right about is sleeping with YOU isn't going to make your kids teeth feel better, any more than sleeping with a block of ice is. Everything else you're dead wrong about. Nursing actually DOES make her teeth feel better. That's one of the cool things about breastfeeding - it does have analgesic properties. As does sleeping with a normal, kind, caring person. Same way when you're feeling down and someone hugs you, you feel better. Well, maybe not you - since I'm thinking you probably weren't hugged enough and seem to have the opposite reaction as most normal people, and I'm also thinking most people in life would be deathly afraid to hug you.
I'm not sure how on EARTH you are able to determine that a child, that isn't even in your home, isn't hungry. I imagine your kids are probably like my niece and nephew. And I wouldn't model my parenting after anything my inlaws do.My inlaws keep no food in their home. They give their kids cheese and crackers for lunch. They tell their kids they don't need more than that, and those kids are constantly telling DH and I how hungry they are.
And seriously LisaJay - I hope your BMI is at the bottom of normal range and you are the picture of heart health because if not, I'd suggest you cut your calorie range down to 1200 a day - just what you need to survive. Because you're obviously not hungry if you're getting that much to eat, it's just a bad habit that you've gotten used to eating more than that.
Normal people, who function at the emotional age of above 10, find ways to soothe and make comfortable because we are empathetic (you may need to look that word up) and care about our children. There are reasons why children wake up - and even though you refuse to acknowledge it, your post shows otherwise if you admit that teething causes pain and wakeups. PAIN. Your child is in pain and you think that it's a game they're playing? I think you need to re-examine your desire to have any more children if you can honestly watch your child in pain and not feel any desire to help them. Stop playing "Us versus Them" with your children. It's not a game. It's not a battle of wits. It's your child in pain and seeking the only person they know for comfort. And that person telling them "you ain't gonna find any comfort here." That's going to ** up your kid, and send them into therapy faster than any night nursing and bed sharing. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that your children are going to have MAJOR sleep issues when they become adults because they're going to have such high anxiety levels - which is the actual reason adults have trouble sleeping. Not because of "games" their parents play with sleep.I wanted to add that pushing her bedtime back won't work if she's teething or hungry. N had hernia surgery last week and he's back to getting up a few times a night. I've been nursing him through the night to help with his healing. He sleeps on a mattress on the floor of his room and about 2 months ago, we put down another mattress next to him and either my wife or I, depending on the day of the week, would sleep in his room. I sleep with him on weekdays and she sleeps with him on weekends. This helped a lot while we worked on his wake ups. We weren't having to interrupt my wife, who had to get up for work, and I was getting a decent amount of sleep, even though I was putting him back to sleep often, because I didn't have to actually get out of bed to tend to him and I had my own bed to move around on and not worry about waking him up. I'm back in his room now, but only because of his surgery.
For N, his sleep problems were associated to nursing to sleep. We coslept his whole life (he's never been in a crib) and I would let him nurse on demand all night long so he was used to me nursing him down and needed me throughout the night, during his transitions. Once we moved his bedtime later (he was going to bed around 7 and getting up every hour or two all night long), his body solved the problem on it's own, by being so tired, he didn't wake up through his transitions and learned to put himself back to sleep. I still nurse him to sleep. I still lay with him.
Could it be that she developed sleep associations while teething or going through a growth spurt and you are dealing with the results? If so, and if you can deal with an overtired little girl for a few days, It'd be worth a shot. I was 100% skeptical about their directions, but honestly, within 5 days, his lifetime of nursing sleep associations were broken with no tears (though a lot of whining!) and lots of snuggling. I was worried about hunger, too. N is only in the 7th percentile which made me more willing to nurse all night long but now we give him a bowl of oatmeal (with no sugar) right before bed and it eases my mind.
Good luck mama.
If you know she is in pain, have you tried baby Advil, Acetomenaphin, or the Dr Hyland's teething tabs (they are homeopathic)? I know some people are very against giving their kids medication (I don't remember your stance on this), but if they are in pain, I see no reason to let them suffer. Advil makes 8 hour.
On another note, Blu, you may not agree with LisaJay's parenting style, but that was completely uncalled for.
DD slept with us until about 9 months old and never once slept more than 4 hours. We tried moving her to her crib for a couple months with zero success. I still shudder when I think about how tired I was in those days. I was always very much against CIO, but we finally broke down and did it and it was the only thing that worked. I was so scarred that we were very no nonsense about sleep with this LO and it has definitely been a different experience.
I'm not saying you should CIO, but it is so, so worth it to try things you weren't originally open to if you can find something that works. I definitely wish you the best of luck.
Thanks ladies! Sorry for stirring the shiz pot.
I'm going to try a combo of your ideas that involve exhausting her, feeding her and drugging her.
We'll see if we can't get to the bottom of this!
Also, wtf?!