What is your routine like?

davidandheather · January 2013

During the waiting, schedules and routines are one of the many things I am obsessing over in my brain wondering how it will all work out. We both work pretty far from home and don't get home until nearly 8 pm right now, so I know things will change a lot. How we squeeze it all in -exercise, eating meals early, church, cooking, bedtimes, homework,etc is not clear yet, but working on ideas. This foster match we have just applied for listed how important a routine was for this particular sibling group over and over. I imagine many of the broadcasts say that though.

What is your routine/schedule like, esp if you have kids now? How do you expect it to change when you do get kids (or more kids?)

lizlemon2 · January 2013

TBH, fostering and two parents working until 8 may not work. One of you or both may have to adjust your schedule.

We are lucky, because I was able to take FMLA for 11 weeks, and my DH cut his hrs to 30 a week. I realize not everyone can do this.

In our house, both kids get up around 6 am, the little one naps around noon. We have dinner at 5. We do baths every other night around 6. The 2 yo goes to bed around 7 and the 4 yo between 8 and 8:30.

Our 4 yo just started preschool in the afternoons. The days we were home, we tried to spend some time just playing or relaxing outside, and some time outside (playground, snow) or at an indoor playplace to burn off energy.

DH and I have to work together to figure out errands. I have snuck in the gym a few times. When I go back to work in March, it will be another big adjustment. We may have to do dinner and bedtimes slightly later. If I make it to the gym during the week, I may have to go at 5:30 am.

davidandheather · January 2013

lizlemon2:
TBH, fostering and two parents working until 8 may not work. One of you or both may have to adjust your schedule.
We are lucky, because I was able to take FMLA for 11 weeks, and my DH cut his hrs to 30 a week. I realize not everyone can do this.

In our house, both kids get up around 6 am, the little one naps around noon. We have dinner at 5. We do baths every other night around 6. The 2 yo goes to bed around 7 and the 4 yo between 8 and 8:30.
Our 4 yo just started preschool in the afternoons. The days we were home, we tried to spend some time just playing or relaxing outside, and some time outside (playground, snow) or at an indoor playplace to burn off energy.

DH and I have to work together to figure out errands. I have snuck in the gym a few times. When I go back to work in March, it will be another big adjustment. We may have to do dinner and bedtimes slightly later. If I make it to the gym during the week, I may have to go at 5:30 am.

Oh yeah, our schedule will change for sure once we get a placement! We have a lot of flexibility so will be ready for it. Just curious how everyone's routine looks as we start figuring things out. Thanks for posting. It is helpful to see how others do their days.

HouseofLovelock · January 2013

Its always crazy adding kids, but you'll adjust. We have four, I work full time (from home part of the time), homeschool the older two, and somehow we survive!

Geauxmama11 · January 2013

We have a 13 month old foster son that was placed with us about 6 weeks ago. Huge adjustment as I work 12 hour shifts and dh works mf with one day of 24 hour in house call. We also work some weekends. Thankfully our daycare of choice was able to take G when he was placed with us. He is home with me four days a week. For the most part he wakes 6:307:30 am....naps 10:3012:30 for about 2 hours....lunch after nap...playtime...run errands in afternoon...dh home from work 34...dinner 56....bath and bed 7:308:30.

[Deleted User] · January 2013

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elissaann26 · January 2013

Our routine with kids went like this:

7:30am- DH wakes up kids, gets them dressed, feeds breakfast (I wasn't involved in this process much as I was getting ready for work or had left before they got up some mornings if I had early meetings.)

8:00am- Out the door to daycare.

8:10am- DH would come home and get ready for the day. He WFH mainly, so this was easier for him.

5:30pm- I would pick kids up from daycare

6:00pm- We'd eat dinner. DH cooked and had this ready to go usually right after we got home.

6:30pm- Bathtime- every other day

7:00pm- Stories and PJ's

7:30pm- Bedtime for both our 2yo and 5yo- they both NEEDED sleep! If they went to bed after 7:30pm the next day was a wreck!

On weekends we'd have lunch around 11:30am and the boys would both go down for "quiet time" in the afternoon until 3 or 3:30pm. Yes, at least a 3 hour nap. Did I mention that they needed sleep? There were many times that we would have to wake them both up at 4:30pm. And they would still go to bed at 7:30, or sometimes 8:00 on weekends.

ctbride08 · January 2013

the flexibility will be helpful! And, yes i do think routines are especially helpful for foster children. They crave predictability and hate surprises.

Our days run something like:

5:30am - adults get up and get ready. showers/cook breakfast/pack bags/ect.

6:30ish - kids get up and get ready.

7am - out the door. I drop 1 kid to preschool and DW drops the other 2 to daycare.

3pm - DW does preschool pick-up then races home to meet the bus for our oldest.

3:30-5ish - they play, do homework, read books, ect.

5ish - i pick up youngest from daycare

5:30 - 7pm - eat dinner, baths, books

7/7:30pm - bed time (mine need sleep too!)

Then the evening is some combination of laundry/cleaning/prepping for the next day/prepping tomorrow's dinner/going to the gym.

elissaann26 · January 2013

ctbride08:
7/7:30pm - bed time (mine need sleep too!)

Something I would strongly recommend with foster kids is trying out an early bedtime. This made a HUGE difference in behavior. When the case got complicated and impacted the kids, we even put them to bed as early as 6:30pm. I know it sounds crazy but I think they needed the sleep to help them process the stress of it all. And when behavior was back under control we definitely moved things back. With the 5yo we would occasionally let him stay up 20 minutes later to read an extra story to us. He loved this and it really helped with his behavior, but he was still in bed by 8pm every night.

silliestbunny · January 2013

Great question.

I am a DIA mommy so my experience is different than yours will be but I think the biggest piece of advice I can offer is that routine is constantly changing. For infants and toddlers, eating and sleep schedules will evolve so that means your routine that you become comfy in willl change as soon as you are comfy

Here's our typical day when I am working (I work three days in the office)

5:45- DH leaves for work

6 AM- DD2 wakes up and snuggles w/me as I get ready for work

6:30 AM- DD1 wakes up and snuggles and I make beds and get my lunch

7 AM- Nanny arrives and I leave

3:30 DH arrives home and nanny leaves. He plays outside or takes walks with them. Toddlers are sort of like puppies and need to get lots of energy out

4:30 I arrive home and play for a few minutes. I warm up dinner.

4:45 We sit down to eat as a family

5:30 DH does baths

6 PM- DD2 goes down for sleep. I play w/DD1 as DH puts DD2 down

6:30 DD1 goes down/DH helps.

6:30-8 I clean the floors, clean the kitchen, and prep dinner for the following night. This is key for me. I need to be able to warm up dinner and not cook in order to eat together at 4:45. I also make lunches for the next day and prep cloth diapers for the next day. I start laundry too.

8-10 PM DH and I spend time together

Gym time is no longer... and I am not happy about it but realistically I can't do it right now. I am working on a solution but right now keeping up w/daily activities is about all I can do

sgb721 · January 2013

I don't have particular advice because I don't have children but I am sure that you will pull a routine that works for the children and your family together. The fact that you are thinking about this and trying to set things up shows that you will be able to work it out!

davidandheather · January 2013

It is helpful to see how others manage. The early bedtime advice is great. I have been childless for so long that I was thinking early was 8 pm! It is good to know that early is much earlier than that. I am sure every case will be different, but it is a good start to see what works for others. Thanks so much for sharing.

JennaNAaron · January 2013

We are fostering a 20 month old and a 6 month old. Our workday schedule looks like this:

Me up at 5:30, get ready/eat breakfast/pack lunch

630-Wake LO #1 up, get him dressed,

655-out door to daycare

(DH gets up around 6 and leaves anytime between 7 and 8 with LO #2 to take her to the babysitter, he has a pretty flexible schedule, but her babysitter is 30 min away)

I pick LO #1 up between 430-5pm

DH picks LO#2 up anytime between 3:30 and 6 depending on his day

530-LO #1 and I eat dinner, DH too if he's home

6:30-bath for LO #1

7:00-bed for LO #1

LO #2 is still working on a schedule, but is in bed between 7 and 830 depending on her last bottle.

On the weekends LO #1 eats around 12, nap 1-3:30, and bed at 8. We don't always do a bath on the weekend, but on daycare days he gets gross and needs a bath. LO #2 gets a bath every other day.

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