Sending invites to close family across the country?

elizabethnseanny · January 2013

I know my mom and sisters and aunts can't fly across the country (we are in VA, they are in OR) but should I still send them an invite? Maybe just the birth announcement? I feel sad my whole side of the family won't be here to celebrate...I miss them. I guess sending them an invite won't fix that anyway...

guess this turned into a pity party post!

1026pumpkin · January 2013

Sorry you won't be able to have your close family there :-( If it's family members that you're very close to (like you said- mom, sisters, etc.), I don't think it will come off as gift grabby, and you never know- they might surprise you! Also, are they the kind of people that would like to get an invite because it's cute and they're going to save it, or would it just get tossed or make them feel bad if they definitely can't come? I wouldn't send them to more distant relatives or friends you're not as close to, though.

EastCoastBride · January 2013

1026pumpkin:
Sorry you won't be able to have your close family there :-( If it's family members that you're very close to (like you said- mom, sisters, etc.), I don't think it will come off as gift grabby, and you never know- they might surprise you! Also, are they the kind of people that would like to get an invite because it's cute and they're going to save it, or would it just get tossed or make them feel bad if they definitely can't come? I wouldn't send them to more distant relatives or friends you're not as close to, though.

THis is largely where I fall. You know your family best. But showers are NOT weddings. They are gift giving events that should be to your nearest and dearest. Not "everyone you know".

I invited two people who weren't local - "just in case". But beyhond that- I didn't invite any other family or friends who were a long distance. It's a shower - again - not a wedding. VERY different event.

Manateearmz · January 2013

I would send it anyway. My sister surprised me by flying in for mine. You never know.

elizabethnseanny · January 2013

Thanks everyone. I have a large family on the west coast, and the two aunts I am close to. So yes, the people I'm wishing could come are dear to me. My mom is trying to come after baby is born, and sisters have young children of their own, so asking them to come to the shower would be really hard on them. I do think they would like the notice and cute keepsake and I'll definitely get a call out of it

+ASH+ · January 2013

I don't think sending it is wrong - they might like to see it if nothing else (although do the birth announcement as well, of course). And they would probably like to feel included in that way.

I've got family a few hours away, but I'm just planning to send out Facebook messages informing them "If they happen to be in town" that weekend. My bff is doing the shower and I don't want her to have to pay for postage for people that are almost certainly not going to be able to make it .

That being said - my situation is extended family, not my mom, so I would absolutely send her one, even knowing she couldn't make it!

EmeraldSea · January 2013

elizabethnseanny:
Thanks everyone. I have a large family on the west coast, and the two aunts I am close to. So yes, the people I'm wishing could come are dear to me. My mom is trying to come after baby is born, and sisters have young children of their own, so asking them to come to the shower would be really hard on them. I do think they would like the notice and cute keepsake and I'll definitely get a call out of it

As a family member who does live 3,000 miles from the rest - I LOVE getting invites to showers, it makes me feel included. Obviously, I can't be there but I think it is still nice to be included. Also, who knows? Maybe this is just the kick the family members need to make a special trip back east! I say invite them.

atcwag · January 2013

I often wonder this because I have family that would be, in my opinion, too far away to come to a shower. I always thought that sending an invite, sans registry information, with a little note that says something to the effect of:

"Although the distance between us may be too great for you to attend the shower, I wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and want you to be involved in this new adventure. I hope that we can see each other soon to introduce you to our new little one."

MamaMcCleary · January 2013

We are sending the invites to all immediate family and most live out of town. I know they wont be able to make it but it lets them know that I wish they could be there and I want them to be a part of this baby's celebrations. It allows them to decide if they are able to make it (surprises do happen). My aunt was also happy to be there at the shower (in spirit) by sending a gift that i can open then.

ChevyFam717 · January 2013

I had this issue with my in-laws. Many of them live 4 hours north of where we are but since some live in the area we couldn't just invite the ones in the area even though we know they aren't going to make a 4 hour drive just to come to a shower.

After MIL insisted we send them to all of the out-of-towners (basically our whole wedding guest list) I felt like it was tacky and gift-grabby... I wish I hadn't sent them to everyone since we aren't even that close to people. MIL didn't want anyone to feel slighted even though we only randomly "bump into" these people when we are visiting up north... I wish we'd just sent the birth announcement instead...

But CLOSE family and friends I would absolutely send an invite to and I like PP's note inclusion "I know you most likely won't be able to be there celebrating with us, but please know that you are there in our hearts - hope to see you soon so baby can meet you!!"

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