Men at the Shower

skylily · January 2013

How would you ge the men in your family to join the shower?

Everything DH and I have done in the past has always bucked tradition, so it is of no surprise to many that we are having a co-ed baby shower. Apparently to some men in our family, the pre-conceived notions of a baby shower has them saying no before they are even told what's happening.

How can we get them to look past the feminine b.s. and look forward to having a party for a new family member? What would your husbands say?

1026pumpkin · January 2013

Many of my friends have had co-ed showers...the ones that have gone over better with men are more of the BBQ/backyard hangout type of events with a brief break to open presents. I would minimize all the frills, decorations, and most of the games with a co-ed shower. My husband has grumbled about all of them, but he grumbles about most social events- as long as he has friends there and there is food, he is usually a happy camper at the end.

That said, I'd talk with your host to see what type of shower she has in mind and what she can accommodate and how many people she's prepared to host. Inviting spouses/SOs doubles a guest list, so you might need to reduce the number of people you invite to account for the men.

skylily · January 2013

Because of the size of DH's family we have limited the guest list to just aunts and uncles. That's still 45 all together though. 7 are on my side, the rest are DH.

The shower was being thrown for DH and I because of who we are, and what we like to do - - which is buck tradition. People have said that they had fun at our previous events but I am wondering how much side eying they did. You're right, we cannot force someone to buck tradition if they don't want to. With that in mind I might try to graciously nix the whole idea because I hate traditional baby showers with their silly baby games, girly decorations, and I hate attention - being in front of people sucks even if they are giving me gifts. I'm the one BEHIND the camera, KWIM?

blush64 · January 2013

My husband would not want to attend a baby shower, even if it wasn't a traditional baby shower and even if it was for him too. I wouldn't try to make him attend.

RoxyLynn · January 2013

Why would you want people there who really, really don't want to attend?

My DH wouldn't go to a baby shower if they served bacon-wrapped bacon on a fishing boat during trout season. Let it go.

Unknown · January 2013

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rhubarb123 · January 2013

My husband has gone to 2 co-ed showers (although we've been invited to several more). He refuses to ever go again even though one of them was more like a BBQ party. He'll go with me and go off with the guys to DO something (watch football/hockey/olympics/etc, or go to a cigar bar - or go golfing, etc)...but he won't "join" the group even if there are other guys there. He thinks it is dumb that there are guys there. Sorry.

Disneygeek77 · January 2013

Dude, just don't invite the men. My husband has been to two co-ed showers, one bridal and one baby, and he has said that if he is invited to another one in the future, to decline for him. He didn't enjoy himself and would have rather had the day to himself at home.

PrimRoseMama · January 2013

You don't "get" or "convince" a guest to do anything. You invite them and if they want to attend the function they wil. Easy peasy.

My husband doesn't like Baby Showers. He doesn't drink either, so even bacon wrapped bacon and beer wouldn't tempt him near a group of women cooing over infant products.

Enjoy your time at the shower and let him do his thing. He's a big boy!

SmoothieQueen · January 2013

skylily:
How would you ge the men in your family to join the shower?
Everything DH and I have done in the past has always bucked tradition, so it is of no surprise to many that we are having a co-ed baby shower. Apparently to some men in our family, the pre-conceived notions of a baby shower has them saying no before they are even told what's happening.
How can we get them to look past the feminine b.s. and look forward to having a party for a new family member? What would your husbands say?

i gave my guys friends a heads up that it's not going to be a traditional "shower" and more of a party celebrating the baby. a lot of them are cool with it, and a few are even really looking forward to the event. most have already been to co-ed showers, so i think it's becoming the norm in my group. my hubbs is saying he's not really into the whole party thing, but his actions are showing that he's excited for it. my best friend and MIL said they're planning it around a different format which won't have the tradition games and such. found this on pinterest --> https://sarcasm-101.blogspot.com/2011/08/rubyspikes-guide-to-hosting-baby-shower.html maybe that will be helpful. good luck to ya!

pgermain11 · January 2013

I want an outside shower at a park with food, music, and booze. I'm not opening gifts at the party bc I really can't stand that. My DH from the start told me he wanted to attend the baby shower and all his friends are pretty down to earth too. Making it less formal I think is more attractive to men. Also having booze helps. My DH is really excited and we are basically treating the baby shower as another one of our awesome parties. I'm also doing it outside so it's kid-friendly. I'm hoping to find a park that has a play ground close to our shelter.

+ASH+ · January 2013

Beer. Lots and lots of beer.

And make sure your DH is 100% on board - every grown man I know would consider a baby shower to be on par with one of the circles of hell.

rhubarb123 · January 2013

pgermain11:
I want an outside shower at a park with food, music, and booze. I'm not opening gifts at the party bc I really can't stand that. My DH from the start told me he wanted to attend the baby shower and all his friends are pretty down to earth too. Making it less formal I think is more attractive to men. Also having booze helps. My DH is really excited and we are basically treating the baby shower as another one of our awesome parties. I'm also doing it outside so it's kid-friendly. I'm hoping to find a park that has a play ground close to our shelter.

Sorry - but your going to have some peeved guests at your "shower" if you don't open your gifts. If you don't want to open gifts then don't call it a shower!

BTW...in my state most parks do not allow alcohol of any kind. Might want to check into that so your party doesn't get 'busted". Your having "booze" AND kids there....ummm...awsome!

skylily · January 2013

Well at this point I am utterly disappointed but I understand.

"Showering" women only with gifts for baby to me signifies that the women are the caretakers and the men don't have to worry their pretty little heads about anything. The norm in DH's family is that the dad is expected to attend because he is the father, but the rest of the men thank their lucky stars they don't have to do this crap. I wish I was the man lol.

To be completely honest, DH is much more excited about the little one than I am and HE is the one that wants a shower, not me. (See previous post about me hating attention...)Maybe we'll have a Daddy-To-Be Shower instead. I'll just stay completely out of it and DH can receive all of the gifts (see sarcasm)

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