Did anyone use a facilitator & and Agency?

Re: Did anyone use a facilitator & and Agency?

• silliestbunny member

  January 2013

  Yes we did!  We did because original center hadn't matched us and we were feeling out of luck.  It worked for us x 2!  There are a lot of great facilitators and consultants... they get a bad wrap but there are definitely ones worth considering.

  
  Let me know if you have more specific questions.

   

  PS-  Sure your chances on paper may seem less than average BUT we found ourselves being chosen by DD2's BM when we had a newborn at home!!  DD1 was three months old when DD2's BM saw our profile and chose us.... We were told we'd wait two years at least for a second match... that's why we kept our profile active but there are Emoms looking for all sorts of families.   

  Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months

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• annalisel member

  January 2013

  One of the agencies we looked at explicitly stated that a significant percentage of their matches were aided by a facilitator. It's definitely a different philosophical approach and one of the other agencies we looked at all but universally panned them.

  That said, we are seriously considering one. We've talked to a few references and the one we are considering seems ethical and well respected in the adoption community. 

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• annalisel member

  January 2013

  silliestbunny:

  Yes we did!  We did because original center hadn't matched us and we were feeling out of luck.  It worked for us x 2!  There are a lot of great facilitators and consultants... they get a bad wrap but there are definitely ones worth considering.

  
  Let me know if you have more specific questions.

  I'm happy to hear you had a good experience with a facilitator. It seems a lot of people turn to (i.e. pay) one after they've been waiting to be matched for awhile.

  Did you interview a few facilitators before making a decision to use the one you chose? I was wondering if there were any red flags that showed up in talking with the ones you didn't choose. I think we've found an ethical facilitator, but I'm cautious because facilitators seem to be frowned upon and are illegal in many states. Thanks.

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• silliestbunny member

  January 2013

  annalisel:

  silliestbunny:

  Let me know if you have more specific questions.

  I'm happy to hear you had a good experience with a facilitator. It seems a lot of people turn to (i.e. pay) one after they've been waiting to be matched for awhile.

  Did you interview a few facilitators before making a decision to use the one you chose? I was wondering if there were any red flags that showed up in talking with the ones you didn't choose. I think we've found an ethical facilitator, but I'm cautious because facilitators seem to be frowned upon and are illegal in many states. Thanks.

  We started working with facilitators after we lost hope that we'd ever be matched.  We worked with half a dozen different facilitators.  At first I was naive and didn't know what to look for... I have a different take now and would happy to share specific thoughts offline.

  But all in all, we worked with some that I didn't LOVE their personalities but they were good w/connections.  I think part of working w/facilitators is becoming your own screener and advocate.  You need to look at each situation and be your own advocate.  Since most f's work w/a large group of lawyers and agencies as well as their own pool, it's up to you to gauge the situation and decide if it's right for you.

   I have much   more to say on this subject but for now I'll stop here..

  Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months

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• HouseofLovelock

  January 2013

  I totally agree! Our son's mom chose us when we had a 1 and 3 year old (both bio)  - its more that we have four kids total now, and obviously, most people are looking to place their baby/child/children in a "big" family.  Our agency is AMAZING, but it is birthparent driven, small and local - so that's why we are looking to possibly use a facilitator (and this one is ethical and incredible and getting birthparents on their feet, helps them to parent, go to school, etc... adoption is the "last resort" sort of thing, which is what we love). Thanks for the help.  

  Mommy to Jude, Zara, Cruz & Ever. Waiting to adoption one (or two) more. Blogging at www.houseoflovelock.com

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