Green eyed monster

LoveActually4 · January 2013

This may sound silly. Flame me if need be.

We have a very good blended family situation. My 2 SKs are with us 50/50 and their bM lives 5 mins away and we see her a lot.

My dS1 is 2 and has taken a real interest in BM. He calls her by name and hugs her. My SKs think it's adorable which it is and I'm proud to say I'm ok with it but everyone kind of eggs him on so he's taken in up a notch. He asks for her all the time, he wont let her put him down and if I try to take him he says "no mommy, I want BM".

I am happy the kids are seeing us blend so well but part of me wants to rip her face off. It's not her fault, it's no one's fault but my feelings get a bit hurt.

Sorry for the rant, I just knew ppl on here may understand more than people IRL.

Littlejen22 · January 2013

No flames. Who is egging him on?

LoveActually4 · January 2013

My step kids. Naturally, they love their brother and enjoy that he gets a kick out of their mom. They and DH and I want him to have a relationship with bM. I just didn't intend for it to go this far..........:s

J&A2008 · January 2013

Not silly at all. I'd feel the same. In fact, we moved 2 years ago to be closer to my mother and while typically their closeness melts my heart, when it's too much I want grandma, my feelings get a little hurt.

It sounds like mainly he does it for the attention, so it's just a phase that will wear off, and the less you make of it the faster it will fade. I wouldn't say anything.

ambrvan · January 2013

My DS is 2, and he does the same thing whenever we happen to see BM. Just be thankful you have a BM that you don't mind being with. In our case we have a very good reason to "dislike" our BM. i completely understand your feelings, though. Just count your blessings and try to look at it in the good light that this is a wonderful unifying thing (for lack of better expression) for your children. Sometimes it is easy to know the logical thing in your head and still have those feelings.

Nineoceans · January 2013

I cannot imagine how annoyed this would make me. No words. Sorry girl! Your feelings are quite justified

Phantomgirl · January 2013

I nannied back in my early 20's (long time ago!) and I adored the kids. Every morning I came in the door the little boy would run to me and get so excited. One Saturday someone came to the door and he ran and when he realised it was not me he became hysterical. The mom told me, much later, that she had spent the entire weekend trying to convince her DH that they should find a new nanny. He argued that it was great the kids loved me so much and she should be thankful BUT it killed her. She described it as a knife through the heart!

In light of so many stories I would say that your feelings are pretty common. I also agree that it will play itself out. When she is there just take deep breaths and try to relax. Also maybe remind yourself that her kids spend 50% of their time with you. Imagine how that would feel? Maybe BM deserves a little compassion as no one wants to give up their kids, especially to another woman!!

LoveActually4 · January 2013

Thank you everyone. It helps knowing other people feel this way.

Although I admit to being jealous, I'm proud of all of my kids for this and I think it will play itself out.

Thanks for the empathy;

Holly_1007 · January 2013

can you limit your sons interaction with her? I would rather cut my own hand off than let BM touch either of my children. (okay, maybe that's a bit extreme, but I feel ya)

FutureMrsWittig · January 2013

I remember being at SDs gym class one time with my new DD and she just would not stop crying. I was about ready to leave and take DD home it was so bad. BM told me "here let me try" and took her and comforted her and in no time at all she was coo-ing and the asleep.

I get along with SDs mom, but it was still a huge slap in the face. In the throes of my PPD, it really hurt me.

No advice. Just understanding. ((hugs))

LoveActually4 · January 2013

FutureMrsWittig:
I remember being at SDs gym class one time with my new DD and she just would not stop crying.nbsp; I was about ready to leave and take DD home it was so bad.nbsp; BM told me "here let me try" and took her and comforted her and in no time at all she was cooing and the asleep.
I get along with SDs mom, but it was still a huge slap in the face.nbsp; In the throes of my PPD, it really hurt me.
No advice.nbsp; Just understanding.nbsp; hugs
nbsp;

Thanks for sharing this. I hate you felt that way too but I made me feel better that I'm not alone! I have ppd and ppa as well.

MarSamWhitney · January 2013

holly71087:
can you limit your sons interaction with her? I would rather cut my own hand off than let BM touch either of my children. (okay, maybe that's a bit extreme, but I feel ya)

lol, this is me too- but it sounds like OP has a WAY better relationship with bm than we do!! OP- I would just let it play out. I would assume its a phase like pp said. I can totally see where you are coming from, because it would bug me too. I suppose its better than BM being rude to your child, or whatever. Hang in there!

mom2one · January 2013

My DD was a fan of my ex (much to DH's dismay) until just before Christmas when she heard him being rude to me and then found out he wasn't letting DS come home at normal time on Christmas. Now she won't speak to him. Kids figure it out. If BM is an awful person, it will become clear.

PALGal · January 2013

My worst nightmare.

BM is sweet to everyone's face but a total hag once your back is turned.

I can see my son thinking she is cool.

UGH.

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