Separation anxiety / stranger danger getting worse? (long)

kelly321 · January 2013

I thought it was supposed to taper off around 18ish months? DD has always been extremely wary of strangers (which includes everyone except DH and me), which is fine although it has meant we haven't been able to have a babysitter and have had to have a fairly long introduction phase for our nanny. The nanny had 2 weeks off over Christmas and New Year's, though, and during that time DD's separation anxiety started getting even worse.

While we were at the IL's after xmas, if either DH or I would leave the room, she would start screaming like we were leaving her to the wolves -- even though the other one of us was still with her! She had never done that before. As long as one of us was there, everything was ok, but apparently now we both have to be there?? And then we came home and she started getting all freaked out if one of us was out of the room at home, which has also never been the case.

The nanny started again yesterday, and DD attached herself to me and screamed. When I finally left her to go to our home office (after about 20 min), she quit crying shortly after I left the room, but still. Instead of smiling and running to the door when the nanny comes like she did up until Christmas, this morning she ran and tried to shut the door in the nanny's face to not let her in, shaking her head no!

Has anyone else experienced this kind of behavior getting worse around this age? I know it's a normal development phase, but I thought it was supposed to be getting better around this time, not worse. Tongue Tied

Athena0809 · January 2013

Oh mama! hugs I know that's rough. We are still going through it. Not worse not better just the same. Luckily for us, since we share the house with my parents he is fine with them. He doesn't like any strangers but will wave bye to them and give them a fist bump if prompted by us, while holding onto me for dear life.

I don't have any suggestions for you, only reassurance that you are not alone!

kerrbear72 · January 2013

We started early, around 7 months, on both. Things seemed the same for the longest time and now, once he hit 18-ish months, the separation anxiety greatly increased. I just try my hardest not to force him off on anyone and give him time to adjust to new people and surroundings.

Slamming the door in the Nanny's face is pretty funny though

kelly321 · January 2013

kerrbear72:
We started early, around 7 months, on both. Things seemed the same for the longest time and now, once he hit 18-ish months, the separation anxiety greatly increased. I just try my hardest not to force him off on anyone and give him time to adjust to new people and surroundings.

Slamming the door in the Nanny's face is pretty funny though

Me, too, and it's not like we ever leave her alone with anyone except the nanny. But the separation anxiety unless both of us are in the room is driving both of us a little crazy, especially the few days when she was doing it at home.

And I agree, her shaking her head no and trying to shut the door in the nanny's face was funny. :-) I just didn't want to laugh at the time because she was looking so desperate!

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Separation anxiety / stranger danger getting worse? (long)

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