Bars and being prego?

boodapug77 · January 2013

My friend invited me to a big going away gathering she is having-it's at a bar(a nice one but small Irish bar). All bars are smoke free in my state. I am just not in the mood to drive 45 min. to the bar and sit there and watch people drink and dance. If I wasn't prego I would definitely be there! But it is a crowded & hot bar at times. Do you think it is bad if I don't go cause of this? If it was local, I would pop in for a half hour. Being prego and in a bar just does not sound fun.I keep getting invited to go out-all to bars and late at night and I feel like that might not be the place for me to hang out. But I think being prego is a good excuse for declining right?

tiffletons518 · January 2013

All bars are smoke free in my state also, which is nice. I think it's a good reason if it's far away, late, crowded, and hot. One of my very best friends usually has her birthday out, and with my last pregnancy I made an appearance. Her birthday is the end of this month, and I will make an appearance this time too. Helps that she chooses a local place. I say, if you aren't feeling it, don't go. Your friend should understand.

RileighsMom1224 · January 2013

I think being pregnant is a perfect excuse not to go. Not to mention it is a 45 minute drive. I am sure your friend will understand. I also hate being around drunk people when I am sober, you never realize how annoying they are till you are the one not drinking.

I would also say pregnant, not prego. You are not a pasta sauce. That just my opinion though.

megaroo64 · January 2013

Personally, I would probably go. Yes it is in a bar, and that is not the best time ever when you can't drink, but there is no smoking, so the physical environment is safe. And it is a going away party. That sounds like an important milestone for your friend, and I think it is important to still celebrate friends' milestones even when pregnant. I think your friend would really appreciate the effort and the fact that you came out to celebrate something special for her.

Granted, I don't know some important details for your situation like how close you are to the friend, or the out-of-controlness of your group.

boodapug77 · January 2013

She will totally understand. But I feel like I am missing everything:( My sister is having a big 40th bday party in a few weeks...I am going to the dinner part but not the dancing/bar part after. Oh well. I won't be prego forever.

BLT20051 · January 2013

I still go out to bars with my friends. I either sip a glass of wine and eat some munchies or have a mocktail of some sort. It is still fun to get to see everyone and watching them makes fools of themselves while I sit there sober can be entertaining. I may leave earlier but I still put forth the effort. I think pregnancy is a lame excuse, TBH. Are you going to hide out in your house the whole time? Also, where is she going? Are you not going to see her for a while? That would push me from on the fence to going in a heartbeat.

CCR630 · January 2013

She'll have so many other people there she won't even notice (probably) and I'm sure she'll understand. Have lunch with her sometime to celebrate separately. I have zero desire to be at a bar right now.

iggles09 · January 2013

Baconlettucetomato:
I still go out to bars with my friends. I either sip a glass of wine and eat some munchies or have a mocktail of some sort. It is still fun to get to see everyone and watching them makes fools of themselves while I sit there sober can be entertaining. I may leave earlier but I still put forth the effort. I think pregnancy is a lame excuse, TBH. Are you going to hide out in your house the whole time? Also, where is she going? Are you not going to see her for a while? That would push me from on the fence to going in a heartbeat.

I second this! In fact I am trying to have as many outings as possible with my girlfriends while I can still get away without being that obviously pregnant lady in a bar. I thought it would be awful but it really can still be a lot of fun sober. I always even offer to drive people at the end of the night BC why not then really enjoy my pregnancy!

ruxin · January 2013

Bacon+lettuce+tomato:
I still go out to bars with my friends. I either sip a glass of wine and eat some munchies or have a mocktail of some sort. It is still fun to get to see everyone and watching them makes fools of themselves while I sit there sober can be entertaining. I may leave earlier but I still put forth the effort. I think pregnancy is a lame excuse, TBH. Are you going to hide out in your house the whole time? Also, where is she going? Are you not going to see her for a while? That would push me from on the fence to going in a heartbeat.

Yes

This is me too and your friends will so appreciate this attitude! I'm miffed when my pregnant friends stop doing everything and go into hiding for nine months.

I say go and have a great time!

CocoMcGee · January 2013

I'd go, but I still enjoy stuff like that. If you don't, then I'd just skip it.

Also, this is off topic, but do some states still allow smoking in bars? I assumed they had all banned it since it's been almost a decade since smoking was allowed in bars in my state.

BLT20051 · January 2013

ruxin:

Bacon+lettuce+tomato:
I still go out to bars with my friends. I either sip a glass of wine and eat some munchies or have a mocktail of some sort. It is still fun to get to see everyone and watching them makes fools of themselves while I sit there sober can be entertaining. I may leave earlier but I still put forth the effort. I think pregnancy is a lame excuse, TBH. Are you going to hide out in your house the whole time? Also, where is she going? Are you not going to see her for a while? That would push me from on the fence to going in a heartbeat.

This is me too and your friends will so appreciate this attitude! I'm miffed when my pregnant friends stop doing everything and go into hiding for nine months.

I say go and have a great time!

I get miffed when my friends don't invite me to things because they think I won't come b/c Im pregnant. I'm pregnant, not dead people!

RileighsMom1224 · January 2013

I live in Texas and they allow smoking in bars. I live just outside of Houston and they do not allow smoking in city limits. Bars really close to my house are smoking and if drive 5 minutes south they are non smoking.

I wont go to smoking bars, even pre-pregnancy. I cant handle being around it since I used to smoke.

ilovemarfa · January 2013

I'd go. As a matter of fact I'm going to rochester, ny, which is about 1.5 hours from my house in a few weeks for a good friend's 33rd birthday party. I like to take advantage of nights out since I haven't gotten out much since my son came along 2 years ago.

Willubmine · January 2013

Being pregnant is a LOUSY excuse! And you know what?! I was one of those people that took my infant to bars, I went to bars pregnant. I HAD FUN, I am usually the designated driver, because I just don't drink much or at all! Of course my group of friends all have children and the best places to eat or go out and have fun are Pubs and Brew Houses, and we bring our kids! Yep, there are drunk people, its hot, its crowded but its SOOO Much FUN! Don't let being a Pregnant person make you a lame-brain.

(Disclaimer: we live in a college town (Go HOPE!) on Lake Michigan. I have never served my child alcohol nor have I had even a sip of alcohol while pregnant)

RileighsMom1224 · January 2013

Maybe I am just old. I dont like bars when I am able to drink, so I wouldnt want to go while pregnant. I would rather hang out and play games at my house with my friends.

Once I hit 28 I was over the bar thing.

rockinwife · January 2013

Bacon+lettuce+tomato:
I still go out to bars with my friends. I either sip a glass of wine and eat some munchies or have a mocktail of some sort. It is still fun to get to see everyone and watching them makes fools of themselves while I sit there sober can be entertaining. I may leave earlier but I still put forth the effort. I think pregnancy is a lame excuse, TBH. Are you going to hide out in your house the whole time? Also, where is she going? Are you not going to see her for a while? That would push me from on the fence to going in a heartbeat.

Co-signed. Especially the bolded. You don't have a highly contagious disease. You are pregnant.

My BFF and I just celebrated our birthdays together for the 3rd year in a row. It was at a bar. And you know what? I had a ton of fun just drinking water and watching the shenanigans.

If you feel like you are missing out on a lot of things, it may be time to get out of the house and go hang out with your friends. You could also suggest getting your friends for other things outside of bars such as dinners or movies.

MeganF722 · January 2013

Bacon+lettuce+tomato:
It is still fun to get to see everyone and watching them makes fools of themselves while I sit there sober can be entertaining.

My thoughts exactly. My cousin's bachlorette party is 2/2/13 and I am my sisters designated driver. I can't wait to try to get some pictures of the fun.

melissa0726 · January 2013

Bacon+lettuce+tomato:
ruxin:

Bacon+lettuce+tomato:
I still go out to bars with my friends. I either sip a glass of wine and eat some munchies or have a mocktail of some sort. It is still fun to get to see everyone and watching them makes fools of themselves while I sit there sober can be entertaining. I may leave earlier but I still put forth the effort. I think pregnancy is a lame excuse, TBH. Are you going to hide out in your house the whole time? Also, where is she going? Are you not going to see her for a while? That would push me from on the fence to going in a heartbeat.

This is me too and your friends will so appreciate this attitude! I'm miffed when my pregnant friends stop doing everything and go into hiding for nine months.

I say go and have a great time!

I get miffed when my friends don't invite me to things because they think I won't come b/c Im pregnant. I'm pregnant, not dead people!

Yes, this! I get it, I can't make it to a lot of things (more because of my toddler than my pregnancy), but at least invite me!

OP, if you truly don't feel like going, then stay home. But honestly, looking back on my first pregnancy....I wish I had gone out more while I could just pick up and go. It's SOOOO much tougher now coordinating a sitter and bedtime and meals/snacks....I could go on and on!

If you feel up to it, do as much fun stuff as you can now, before LO comes. See your friends as much as possible. It gets so much tougher after baby is born!

Kelli3 · January 2013

You should never feel guilty about not wanting to go to a bar and hang out w people drinking while pregnant. Send a card or just some nice thoughts and be good with that. It's always more important to take care of you and baby, plus spending a total of an hour and a half in a car driving sounds like wasted time for sleeping

.

Ballet513 · January 2013

iggles09:
Baconlettucetomato:
I still go out to bars with my friends. I either sip a glass of wine and eat some munchies or have a mocktail of some sort. It is still fun to get to see everyone and watching them makes fools of themselves while I sit there sober can be entertaining. I may leave earlier but I still put forth the effort. I think pregnancy is a lame excuse, TBH. Are you going to hide out in your house the whole time? Also, where is she going? Are you not going to see her for a while? That would push me from on the fence to going in a heartbeat.
I second this! In fact I am trying to have as many outings as possible with my girlfriends while I can still get away without being that obviously pregnant lady in a bar. I thought it would be awful but it really can still be a lot of fun sober. I always even offer to drive people at the end of the night BC why not then really enjoy my pregnancy!

I 100% agree. I go to bars/out in general to enjoy the company of my friends or celebrate something with them (birthdays, new jobs etc.) I'm not going to stop just because I'm pregnant! Thats totally lame IMO. My husband is loving having a DD also.

emelydiaz87 · January 2013

CocoMcGee:

I'd go, but I still enjoy stuff like that. If you don't, then I'd just skip it.

Also, this is off topic, but do some states still allow smoking in bars? I assumed they had all banned it since it's been almost a decade since smoking was allowed in bars in my state.

In Florida you can smoke in a bar and I have not found one that is smoke free.

hannahg · January 2013

Keep in mind once baby comes it is harder to go out especially if you are Breastfeeding so I'd take advantage now while you still can.

kaleyandjason · January 2013

Sounds to me like you've already made up your mind.

If there is no smoking, there is no reason not to go. Just leave earlier than normal!

Also I live in WV and smoking laws are dictated by county. My county still allows smoking in bars while other local counties don't.

skio · January 2013

Meh, do what you want. If you don't want to go, use the pregnancy/tiredness/driving as an excuse and don't go. It's your prerogative.

I would probably go, but it depends on the friend and the bar, frankly. When I was pregnant with DD, I was still working and had a very socially active group of friends. They went to pretty chill city bars once or twice a week and I joined them every now and then because they were my friends and I wanted to spend time with them. I'm glad I did.

However, when I was 26w pregnant I had my high school reunion at a restaurant and a bunch or people decided to go out to a bar afterwards. My belly was fairly big at this point and this was the type of bar that packed people in like sardines; lots of pushing and shoving and underagers and fights. I wasn't comfortable with that place and I didn't go.

Trust your gut and do what's best for you. But remember what others have said; once baby is here, it's a lot harder to get out.

duffmaker · January 2013

Yes being pregnant is an acceptable excuse, especially if it's a drive.

I feel uncomfortable being in a bar while I'm pregnant anyway, I feel like people are judging me like "why is she here, is she drinking?!" etc. and I'm not a fan of being judged. DH's company Christmas party was at a very small tavern and that I was okay with because it was a company function but within a couple of minutes of being there I was woozy and desperately hot, it was a crowded, sweltering and plain uncomfortable night for me. On the upside the bartender was amazing at keeping my OJ glass full!

pammasu0909 · January 2013

CarolynL8:
Id honestly skip it. Im too tired at night to even think about going out!

This is my problem. My husband is in a band, and they usually don't start playing until 9 or 10 at night. I have a hard time staying awake past 8, never mind be out and social.

I don't think you should use your pregnancy as an excuse. If you are too tired, you are too tired. If you aren't into the scene, you aren't. Just tell it like it is.

emcgra · January 2013

I am in a similar situation and we are going. Driving about an hour for a party at a bar. I am one of the first in my group of friends to have a baby so I want to make sure that I spend as much time with my friends as possible while it is still easier. Also I would rather be with my friends, not drinking, then not see them.

GraceInCA · January 2013

The driving would deter me, not the actual bar itself. I'm just not up for driving long distances lately. Maybe if DH was driving and I could doze off on the way back. But going out, even to a bar, is not a problem for me. All of ours in CA are also smoke-free, and I love going out and socializing with my friends. I just can't really hang anymore if it runs late at night (especially after a full day of work and kid activities), and I don't want to drive for hours.

CocoMcGee · January 2013

LidiaLavonna:
Hi, I'm lidialavonna, and at 15 weeks pregnant I went to a bachelorette party at a club where I flirted with men casually, danced on stage with a band, and then danced on a pole. All without a sip of alcohol. I second BLT who said pregnancy is a lame excuse to not go. That said, if you just aren't feeling it and your friend would understand, then you shouldn't go. But don't just make it out to be because your pregnant.

Um, you are awesome!

BC&LM · January 2013

If it were me, I probably wouldn't go. I hate crowded, noisy bars to begin with, and with how I have been feeling lately, I wouldn't want to drive that far since I wouldn't be able to get home quickly if I started feeling ill. Now, if you don't feel nauseous or tired or whatever, it might be worth a try. I would suggest that if you don't go, you consider inviting your friend out to a restaurant or over to your house for a quiet going away lunch. That way she will know you still care, and you will have a chance to say goodbye in private.

nycmelody · January 2013

I didn't really go out in first tri, because I was so tired. But now that I'm feeling normal again, we go out about once a week (less than before). I always tell the bartender that I'm pregnant and that I want a fun non-alcoholic drink (that's sour, because that's what I'm craving right now) and I've ended up with some excellent drinks. Sometimes they even comp me as a "congrats"! So I would say go, and have fun!

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