Community› The Bump Message Boards› Toddlers: 24 Months+
Toddlers: 24 Months+
New Discussion

Does your baby have separation Anxiety?

frogmasterfrogmaster
in Toddlers: 24 Months+

Just curious how many other mothers are going through this and when does it stop... My son will cry like if they are killing him when we are out and someone (paternal grandmother, great aunts) tries to hold him.  He is happy with people but I need to be next to him.  If anyone tries to hold him, he cries horribly until I grab him then he smiles like if nothing.  He is 12 months 2 weeks...

 Is he manipulating me already lol or is this normal?  I feel really bad because everyone has something to say when he throws his crying fits..."your spoiling him", "you should let him cry", "he is manipulating you" blah blah blah.... I don't know if this is true or not but for one it drives me crazy as I feel like I am under the microscope and two it breaks my heart to hear him cry in that form.  Is this normal?

 

 

Report Reply to Post

Re: Does your baby have separation Anxiety?

  • brightningbrightning member

    It's good that he's having separation anxiety! That means he recognizes the difference between you and other people, and shows how important he knows you are to him. It's a normal developmental stage for him to do this, so you should just smile sweetly when others say he's manipulating you, you're spoiling him, etc. It's no fun having others judge you, but this "stranger danger" is actually a sign that he's developing emotionally. Until the sep. anxiety settles down (it'll be months) the best you can do is to try to assuage his fears and just try not to make others feel bad. It's not that he doesn't like them, or won't ever like them, it's just that kids this age are slow to warm up to others and really shouldn't be pushed to do something that makes them feel so uncomfortable.

    Good luck! Do you have Dr. T. Berry Brazelton's "Touchpoints of Development"? He talks about a lot of this stuff in that book.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Emmasmom30Emmasmom30
    With strangers, yes.  With people she knows other than us, no.
    Report Reply
  • Erika6504Erika6504
    Kind of.  If she knows the person, even vaguely, she's ok.  With strangers or people that she hasn't met, they can hold her, but she wants down or to come back to me almost immediately. 
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • brittneycc1982brittneycc1982
    When there are other people around, strangers or not she usually does fine and is a great baby.  When it's just her and I, or even when Dh is here, she throws a fit when I walk away from here to go to the bathroom etc.  It has been this was for about a month now.  I don't know if that is seperation anxiety or not.
    Report Reply
  • Maybride2Maybride2 member

    brightning is dead-on.  This is a normal developmental stage and shows that your child is developing emotionally. 

    Ignore the people that tell you that you're spoiling him or should let him cry. 

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • lisa777lisa777
    I always keep myself from telling people to not even look at my son. I know that sounds awful but it's the truth and that's exactly how I was when I was a baby. If you look at my son, he will cry. He is only ok if it's me, my DH or my parents around. If he doesn't know you and you try to hold him or play with him, he will cry. He cries with my in-laws too even though he knows who they are. My parents watch him everyday and he is starting to show seperation anxiety with them. If my parents go somewhere with him and one of them gets out of the car, he will cry or when he gets dropped off at night he cries. It's awful and I hope it ends soon.
    Report Reply
  • Mrs.DTWMrs.DTW
    Are you a SAHM?  I ask this because if you are that is probably why he cries.  I work and my DD had separation anxiety just after she turned 1 but it did not last long.  She is comfortable with familiar people, those she sees often but if "strangers" are around she will cling to me. Don't worry, I am sure that the more familiar he gets with other relatives the anxiety will go away.  Maybe you and your DS can spend more time around relatives and this will help him to see that they are okay even if mommy is not around.
    Report Reply
  • frogmasterfrogmaster

    I am not a SAHM.  My parents take care of him all day and obviously he is ok with them.  It's really more with other relatives and strangers he doesn't know but the child cries like if they are killing him lol... 

    I have definitely heard this is a normal development stage but so many people have so many opinions that you start to doubt yourself.  Thanks for all your opinions/suggestions.

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"