DD's daycare...Tell me if I'm overreacting.

CaraLynn91 · January 2013

I'm fine with my daughter getting dirty, and messy...within reason. She's a child, and I fully understand that it's going to happen...which is why we send extra clothes with her.

However, yesterday they let the class go outside and play in the mud puddles. First of all, it was chilly out. I don't want her getting sick. Second, she was SOAKED. Her clothes were wet, boots wet inside and out, and they were wiping mud out of her hair and off her face when SO picked her up.

I just find that ridiculous.

Also, when I dropped her off this morning we started the usual routine (they want us to help her take her coat off, wash her hands, etc) while I was helping her wash her hands the teachers were standing around talking while the kids played. One little girl walked up to a teacher, requested her to come play, and the teacher responded with "Honey, I'm drinking my coffee."

That floored me. I have worked in childcare and as soon as we clocked on, it was about the kids. We didn't get paid to just stand around ESPECIALLY if the children were requesting our attention. I know how trying childcare can be, and some days you do want to just make small talk with your coworkers, and drink coffee...but that's not what you're there for.

She just transferred into the toddler room, and I'm not so sure about these teachers...they didnt' even introduce themselves to me yet. I introduced myself to them, but they never told me their names or anything. I literally had to ask, "...and what's your name?" I just find it odd that us being new parents to the room, they didn't want to tell me who they are. I emailed the director regarding my concerns, but I just hope I'm not being one of "those parents".

Erinm278 · January 2013

I do not think you are overreacting. I have also worked in child care and I can tell you that none of that stuff would happen where I worked.

We did not allow children to get wet in cold weather. Wet activities were planned in advance, in the summer, and parents were told to bring bathing suits for children.

Also, we weren't allowed to have any food or drink in the classroom for ourselves accept water.

I would have talked to the director as well because that's not acceptable.

CaraLynn91 · January 2013

Erinm278:
I do not think you are overreacting. I have also worked in child care and I can tell you that none of that stuff would happen where I worked.
We did not allow children to get wet in cold weather. Wet activities were planned in advance, in the summer, and parents were told to bring bathing suits for children.
Also, we weren't allowed to have any food or drink in the classroom for ourselves accept water.
I would have talked to the director as well because that's not acceptable.

Thank you. I just get a little....self conscious when I get upset about something. I usually have to mull it over, but I left daycare fuming today and I'm pretty sure her teachers knew it even though I didn't say anything.

Lisa73101 · January 2013

The brushing off of a kid for coffee and not introducing themselves to me would definitely bother me. I would get somewhat annoyed with the muddy clothes (just because of cleaning them...haha) but it wouldn't bother me as much. I know they try to get outside as much as possible, and stuff like that happens. I doubt it was planned because I'm sure they didn't want to clean the mud off all of the kids either. I think voicing your concern is appropriate just to keep an open dialogue going. I have a hard time trying to not be "that parent" either because of being a teacher before SAH and DH is a principal. We have pretty high expectations for DS1's school that it's hard to not want to question certain things. I would just try and focus on those that are most important to you and have the highest impact on your DDs care to voice your concerns about.

bobcee · January 2013

As far as your first concern, I know here they have laws that require the daycare to take the children outside everyday for a certain amount of time no matter the weather, so I'm not sure there's much they can do about that. Did they let her sit in the wet clothes rather than changing her into spares or was she just coming in from outside when you went to pick her up? If it's the former, I would be upset but if it was the latter, eh she's a kid and was having fun outside.

As to your second and third concerns, I would be upset. The children are and should be their first concern, not drinking a cup of coffee. And I think like you said, they'd want to introduce themselves and make a good impression to the parents. I know ours are usually very friendly and will give us a summary of the day, etc...I think maybe someone needs to talk to them about their priorities.

jiffypop72 · January 2013

I was an assistant director in a childcare for four years...you are not overreacting. You sound reasonable and I think your expectations are more than fair! I hope the director emails you back ASAP and I hope she is willing to work with you to get things straightened out!

CaraLynn91 · January 2013

Lisa73101:
1.) The brushing off of a kid for coffee and not introducing themselves to me would definitely bother me. I would get somewhat annoyed with the muddy clothes (just because of cleaning them...haha) but it wouldn't bother me as much. 2.) I know they try to get outside as much as possible, and stuff like that happens. I doubt it was planned because I'm sure they didn't want to clean the mud off all of the kids either. I think voicing your concern is appropriate just to keep an open dialogue going. I have a hard time trying to not be "that parent" either because of being a teaching before SAH and DH is a principal. We have pretty high expectations for DS1's school that it's hard to not want to question certain things. I would just try and focus on those that are most important to you and have the highest impact on your DDs care to voice your concerns about.

1.) This is what really set me off. I couldn't believe she said it, especially with me being right there.

2.) I at first thought "Well, kids get into things SO fast that they probably didn't realize there was a mud puddle until the kids were already in it." But I asked if they knew the kids were playing in the mud, and they just said, "Yes."

If it was summer time, go for it. Yesterday wasn't exactly the warmest day though, and I'm just now getting over a cold. I don't want DD coming down with anything.

summerandmatt · January 2013

Definitely not overreacting! I would've done the same thing.

CaraLynn91 · January 2013

bobcee:
As far as your first concern, I know here they have laws that require the daycare to take the children outside everyday for a certain amount of time no matter the weather, so I'm not sure there's much they can do about that. Did they let her sit in the wet clothes rather than changing her into spares or was she just coming in from outside when you went to pick her up? If it's the former, I would be upset but if it was the latter, eh she's a kid and was having fun outside.

As to your second and third concerns, I would be upset. The children are and should be their first concern, not drinking a cup of coffee. And I think like you said, they'd want to introduce themselves and make a good impression to the parents. I know ours are usually very friendly and will give us a summary of the day, etc...I think maybe someone needs to talk to them about their priorities.

I used to work in daycare, and if the weather was reasonable we took the kids outside. If it wasn't, then we found some other form of activity to run off energy. When SO picked her up she was in another classroom (after a certain point of the day around 4:00 I think, and if there are only so many kids center wide they combine classes) she was STILL in her wet clothes at 5:15, even though we have 3 spare outfits at the center. Which SO asked why she was wet, the teacher replied with "her class took them outside." so I assume they had been in back from inside for a while.

I know the afternoon teachers. I went to school with one, and the other was a former infant room teacher of DDs. They usually give us the run down of the day, and are extremely friendly. The 2 morning teachers, are just really snobby, and sometimes I want to say something to them... I just don't know what. Lol

CaraLynn91 · January 2013

jiffypop72:
I was an assistant director in a childcare for four years...you are not overreacting. You sound reasonable and I think your expectations are more than fair! I hope the director emails you back ASAP and I hope she is willing to work with you to get things straightened out!

Thank you! That's good to hear. She is usually very timely with getting back to me. I hope with this she is the same.

CaraLynn91 · January 2013

summerandmatt:
Definitely not overreacting! I would've done the same thing.

Good! I'm always afraid I'm being "that parent"..the kind that is just unreasonable. I think previously working in daycare helps me know what should be somewhat expected though.

CarlaAndJames · January 2013

My first thought was the mud thing wouldn't bother me, but on second thought the wet/cold thing probably would. Was there a way for them to be outside and avoid the mud? If they changed them fast, I guess I wouldn't be irate, but I wouldn't love the idea of her being wet if it was below 55 or 60. Dirty, fine.

The second part would definitely bother me. And if they'll say that in front of a parent, where they are theoretically on their best behavior, I'd worry about how much they ignore the kids when they aren't being monitored. Our teachers are always freakishly engaged with the kids, I always tell DH I could never do that job bc they are bright rays of sunshine pretty much every minute I've ever seen them, even watching stealthily from the window. But we pay through the teeth for our daycare - I'm not paying them just to make sure DD doesn't play with scissors, I'm paying them to interact with her and teach her.

Lisa73101 · January 2013

If she sat in the wet clothes, I would definitely be upset! I assumed from your original post they just came in since they were cleaning off her face when your SO picked up.

PrimRoseMama · January 2013

My thoughts:

You don't get sick from playing in the rain or mud when its chilly. You get sick from a virus or bacteria. I would have more of an issue of picking her up soggy and having to wash the clothes. Let alone what the car ride would be like.

The coffee thing might irk me, but I figure its morning and I need coffee to deal with my kid in the morning. So, I can't fault someone else for needing it for a whole room of toddlers.

I think its fine to email the coordinator with your concerns. Maybe the toddler room is more lenient? I don't go to day school or day care with DD so I don't know what you should expect, so to speak.

I also don't think you are over reacting. You just have different expectations.

CaraLynn91 · January 2013

PrimRoseMama:
My thoughts:

You don't get sick from playing in the rain or mud when its chilly. You get sick from a virus or bacteria. I would have more of an issue of picking her up soggy and having to wash the clothes. Let alone what the car ride would be like.

The coffee thing might irk me, but I figure its morning and I need coffee to deal with my kid in the morning. So, I can't fault someone else for needing it for a whole room of toddlers.

I think its fine to email the coordinator with your concerns. Maybe the toddler room is more lenient? I don't go to day school or day care with DD so I don't know what you should expect, so to speak.

I also don't think you are over reacting. You just have different expectations.

I'm the same, but I would expect them to have their morning coffee and wake up BEFORE they clock on considering they decided to work in a child care facility. I'm paying for my child to be taught, and interacted with while I'm at work, not just monitored.

CaraLynn91 · January 2013

Lisa73101:
If she sat in the wet clothes, I would definitely be upset! I assumed from your original post they just came in since they were cleaning off her face when your SO picked up.

From what SO understood, they were wiping off the small spots of mud the other teachers had missed.

PrimRoseMama · January 2013

CaraLynn91:

I'm the same, but I would expect them to have their morning coffee and wake up BEFORE they clock on considering they decided to work in a child care facility. I'm paying for my child to be taught, and interacted with while I'm at work, not just monitored.

Yes, I can see where you would be upset then.

CaraLynn91 · January 2013

CarlaAndJames:
My first thought was the mud thing wouldn't bother me, but on second thought the wet/cold thing probably would. Was there a way for them to be outside and avoid the mud? If they changed them fast, I guess I wouldn't be irate, but I wouldn't love the idea of her being wet if it was below 55 or 60. Dirty, fine.

The second part would definitely bother me. And if they'll say that in front of a parent, where they are theoretically on their best behavior, I'd worry about how much they ignore the kids when they aren't being monitored. Our teachers are always freakishly engaged with the kids, I always tell DH I could never do that job bc they are bright rays of sunshine pretty much every minute I've ever seen them, even watching stealthily from the window. But we pay through the teeth for our daycare - I'm not paying them just to make sure DD doesn't play with scissors, I'm paying them to interact with her and teach her.

That's the thing, their whole fenced in play area for her age group is nothing but dirt with mulch over it. So considering it rained all day the day before, and some that morning...it would only be common sense that it was wet out there.

That is my exact thought on it. I'm kind of inclined to just drop by from time to time now just to see. I mean, they get from 12-2 "quiet time" when kids are either asleep, or laying quietly on their cots for them to get their down time.

miss2697 · January 2013

I don't think you're over-reacting. I worked at a before and after care program at a school before I was a teacher and I used to play with the kids AND drink coffee at the same time. I don't understand why that is a sit down job. I pretty much agree with what everyone else said. Seems like you are going about it the right way.

Kitten80 · January 2013

As for the mud/wet thing, I might not be thrilled, but if it only happened once, I would probably give them the benefit of the doubt that what was suppose to be a little fun outside exersion got out of hand (and if they are new to this room, it is possible they usually have older kids who would be a little more self controlled).

I worked in childcare as well, and have been in many since I provided state speech services, and my jaw fell at the coffee thing. I can't imagine that happening at all - and especially not with parents in the room. And not introducing themselves is just plain unprofessional. I definitely agree emailing the director with these concerns was valid - and I think a lot of what seperates the concerned parent with "that" parent is the tone (lost my place, sorry if I repeat), but is the tone rather than bringing uup concerns. I hope she can resolve th eissues so your more comfortable.

opheliainwaders · January 2013

bobcee:
As far as your first concern, I know here they have laws that require the daycare to take the children outside everyday for a certain amount of time no matter the weather, so I'm not sure there's much they can do about that. Did they let her sit in the wet clothes rather than changing her into spares or was she just coming in from outside when you went to pick her up? If it's the former, I would be upset but if it was the latter, eh she's a kid and was having fun outside.

As to your second and third concerns, I would be upset. The children are and should be their first concern, not drinking a cup of coffee. And I think like you said, they'd want to introduce themselves and make a good impression to the parents. I know ours are usually very friendly and will give us a summary of the day, etc...I think maybe someone needs to talk to them about their priorities.

This is how I feel, too. I probably wouldn't worry so much about the mud (honestly, I'd rather my kid played in the mud, even in the cold, than inside with barbies or something, but I also grew up with a mom who sent us out to play every day, no matter the weather...in MA), but the weirdness of the teachers' introductions (or lack thereof) struck me as strange. I'd be interested to see the administrators' response to that part - that would probably help me decide whether it's a weird fluke, or something that either needs to be dealt with, or a reason to leave.

StarshineR · January 2013

First of all, I have no children in day care and never worked in that setting - so take this with a grain of salt, but I think that if it's *your* kid, there is no such thing as "over-reacting". You are the *parent*. Your word is law where your children are concerned.

missyjg · January 2013

Nope, if you're not comfortable let them know. See how they deal with it and if they address it to a point where you're comfortable then good. If they don't change. Trust your gut. I hope the director takes your concerns seriously and you can come to a comfortable solution. Good Luck!

And BTW, Your daughter is beautiful.

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