2nd baby shower

nenaz02 · January 2013

Hi ladies. I would like to know what you think. I'm currently expecting my 2nd in August. My MIL says everyone only gets one baby shower and that's it. My mom says every baby deserves a baby shower, that the first baby isn't more special than second or third or so on. I grew up with a family that had baby showers for every baby so I don't see anything really wrong with it. Granted I wouldn't want to do it the same. I'm actually thinking about a sipnsee once I have the baby. Should I do something or nothing???

WashingtonQueen · January 2013

Do you still have all your old baby stuff?

TurtleMomma · January 2013

That's tough. I, too, grew up in a family where you only get one. At the same time, I see the logic in having one for each child. If the children are different genders, you're gonna need help stock piling things like clothing (unless you're team green for both). There will be a lot of cross over in terms of actual supplies between children.

Maybe just have a party for child #2 that doesn't necessitate gifts?

angeliasadler · January 2013

It's up to you. If you want to have one for this baby then that is your choice. A lot of people will have one for the 2nd baby if the sex is different or if there is a big age difference between the two because clothes and styles change.

MitsB707 · January 2013

I've heard of a "sprinkle" instead of a shower, but only if there's a big age difference between the kids.

MrsI · January 2013

Please read similar posts on the baby shower board. Those girls "know" etiquette. Baby showers are welcoming the mother to be into motherhood, not celebrating the baby. You should only have showers for the first minus a few circumstances. If you need stuff you buy it or shouldn't have gotten pregnant. It's not everyone else's responsibility to provide for your child. In my family people still buy gift for the new baby but there is no shower and the gifts are usually pretty small like clothes, diapers, etc.

Sorry tonight my inner snark must really be coming out between this and the symptoms post.

brittas · January 2013

I am not a fan of having 2 baby showers. The people who are close to you will still get you gifts without you having a shower.

letitbelotus · January 2013

I would be on the fence too, especially if the children are different genders. My sister had a shower for her first and then a blessing way for her other two 2nd was another girl and 3rd was a boy people can bring gifts if they please but it is mainly to gather round the mother and send love and good thoughts for a safe delivery. She asked that each person bring a bead that she would then string together for strength during the labor : she got lots if nice gifts too for both!

atyler727 · January 2013

I always thought the point of a baby shower was for first time parents who still need everything.

there's nothing wrong with multiple baby showers, but I would not expect one to be thrown for me past my first born.

I also agree that showers are for welcoming moms into motherhood. I also agree it's not the best etiquette to throw a shower for yourself.

the one general exception to multiple showers is if your youngest is much older...like 10+ years, so you no longer have baby stuff.

If I were you, I'd probably just throw a "welcome baby" BBQ or something

gscoville · January 2013

Our circle always has showers for every baby, but definitely differently for second and subsequent - because we have showers after baby's born, they're really all about visiting with our friends and family and sharing the new baby together, so the gift thing isn't really an issue. For a first we might all go together on a big item or two that is needed, whereas for a second we might just bring a book or some new spoons and bibs. No one ever feels like they have to bring a gift regardless. Also, being a huge one to document everything in my kid's life, I would actually feel quite heartbroken not to have some sort of celebration shower-y thing to record in my child's baby book. I'm a first baby myself and have always loved going through my baby book and reading my mom's thoughtful comments and funny anecdotes about that special shower event, and I know that my sister, who is the fourth sibling, would be devastated to not have had the same in her baby book.

Also, given that I'm 39 and my DD is 18, I'm pretty sure I won't get away without a shower for this baby - I've got so many new family and friends that I didn't have two decades ago, this baby will be the first grandchild for my hubby's mom, and I certainly haven't kept any baby stuff from the first time around. That crib, car seat, high chair, and such have long since expired and would never meet current safety standards! Even if I said no 'second shower', I know that would just not happen.

aessary03 · January 2013

My last kid was born 9 years ago in October. I got rid of baby stuff years and years ago. I have absolutely nothing baby for this new one. My MIL told me she's throwing me a baby shower. I don't think that will be tacky ... especially since our children will be so far in age .... lol, it's like starting all over again.

I don't think it's tacky. If someone wants to throw it for you, by all means, have one. I don't understand what the big deal is. I've gone to LOTS of baby showers for second and third babies. I love buying little outfits and stuff. It can't hurt.

atyler727 · January 2013

If your daughter is 18 years older, I wouldn't count it as a second shower. You have my approval! Lol

amarissa85 · January 2013

I don't find it tacky and if someone wants to throw it who cares!! Like PP said safety standards on a lot of baby stuff changes sooo often that you can't reuse those things after a certain point in time. Baby clothes? I have always been the giving type to those not quite as fortunate as me so I give away a lot of stuff as soon as my children out grow it. My son is 8, who holds onto stuff that long. My daughter is 5, almost as bad. Am I going to thinking about a shower this time? No but his fam and my fam are already talking about doing it anyway.

LnR70707 · January 2013

You just had a baby shower 2 years ago, it is gift grabby to have another one. Yes every baby is special, but showers are never about the baby anyway! I think a sip and see is a much better idea as long as it isn't somehow implied that gifts are expected.

nawlinsgrl · January 2013

OP, it looks like your 1st is less than 2 y.o., so I can't imagine you'd need all that much, except maybe clothes, diapers, wipes, etc.

I'm in the camp that say a 2nd shower is tacky in your circumstance, particularly if you throw it yourself. Ultimately, you're going to do what you want. If I was invited to a second shower in that span of time, I would not go, because, as I said, I think it's tacky, and if you can't provide the things a second child this close in age needs, that's your problem not mine.

I will have 2u2, and there is no way I would let someone throw me a shower or sprinkle (hasn't come up yet, as nobody knows, but I know my response). I think it's rude and gift grabby, and completely inappropriate.

Don't like my answer? Don't care. You asked, you got an honest response. Best of luck to you!

aessary03 · January 2013

L&R70707:
You just had a baby shower 2 years ago, it is gift grabby to have another one. Yes every baby is special, but showers are never about the baby anyway! I think a sip and see is a much better idea as long as it isn't somehow implied that gifts are expected.

What is a sip and see?? I've never heard of such a thing! Sounds interesting.

cinderin · January 2013

I am against second showers. period.

Have a "meet the baby" party (AKA "Sip and See") once the baby is here.

CaliforniaDream87 · January 2013

Psst...I will be having a shower for everyone of my kids LOL. Oh and I won't be throwing it myself.

Who cares what others think? You want a second shower? Have one.

kateisgreat · January 2013

If you want to celebrate the baby, by all mean do it! I would have a sip and see after the baby is born.

Baby showers are for the mother though, not the baby, and the mother only gets one. People have invented things like diaper showers and sprinkles to get around that fact. The only exceptions I see are if there is a different baby daddy (like if someone remarried and it's SO's first child), or if there is a drastic difference in age- I think a pp mentioned having different friends from when their first child was born. A different gender shouldn't affect anything but the clothes. Chances are, people are going to buy your baby clothes whether you have a shower or not. Half of my DD's wardrobe still comes from friends and family. People just like buying baby stuff- it's cute!

Ladydianna · January 2013

We've always had " sprinkles" for a 2nd or 3rd baby. They are much smaller. Only very close family and friends. Of course we're also the type of people who use any excuse to throw a nice party!

nenaz02 · January 2013

Lots of answers. Thanks for taking time and responding. I do have a lot of things that I will be reusing for my second and I don't need anyone to buy me anything for the second. I would not throw my own shower, pretty sad if it came to that! My mother said she is throwing me a shower. I personally can only handle one! I know my mother will be persistent so that's where the sipnsee idea comes from. My neighbor had one for her second and I loved it. I didn't know her when she had her first child. I just like the fact that your friends and family can come over, see the new addition, and not feel required or obligated to buy or bring anything. My husband and I are very fortunate to not have to depend on others to give is what we need. Also, I'm not offended by any of the comments or in the tones they may be perceived in. I asked for opinions and that's what I received. No need to apologize for how you think and feel! Thank you ladies and good luck in all of your pregnancies!!

Sascha3 · January 2013

I have 8 SILs and a huge family on my husband's side and it is the norm for them to do showers for each baby. If I were to turn down a shower I think they would actually be really offended. Since my baby is only 1, I didn't even think there would be anything for them to buy, even if it is a boy, since he would just have to be a boy in a pink walker, haha. But now that I know it is twins, I guess that has changed. But I would never expect it or throw my own.

dukestar5 · January 2013

Personally, I would not plan/throw a shower for myself. However, if friends or family wanted to plan a shower, get together, or sip n see event, I would think that was very sweet of them and accept the offer. In our town, it's common for people to throw a party for 2nd and 3rd babies. It's more of a celebration than anything. (And if you already have a lot of baby items, guests could bring diapers and wipes).

Peridot0812 · January 2013

BreanneL24:
It doesn't matter if it is your first baby or your 20th, throwing your own shower is tacky IMO. If someone wants to throw you a shower or you do a sip and see, I think that is different and would do whatever felt right for me. I don't like 2nd showers anyways so I would not do one or allow someone to throw me one but that is just me. It isn't the norm to have them in my area either.

This. YOU shouldn't do anything. If someone offers to throw you a shower/sprinkle/sipnsee/whatever you want to call it, then you can say yes or no. I personally would not allow someone to throw me a second shower when I have a child under 2.

That being said, my sister has an 11 year old and just told me she is pregnant. I will probably throw her a small shower.

shelbell1028 · January 2013

For me a baby shower is to welcome the woman to motherhood. You get one and that's it.

My SIL is having twin girls. She has a 2 year old boy. I just got the invite for her shower. While I understand she is having twins I don't understand registering again and having a full blown shower.

For 2nd plus pregnancies the parents should be buying everything that the baby needs.

V&G101808 · January 2013

MrsI:
Please read similar posts on the baby shower board. Those girls "know" etiquette. Baby showers are welcoming the mother to be into motherhood, not celebrating the baby. You should only have showers for the first minus a few circumstances. If you need stuff you buy it or shouldn't have gotten pregnant. It's not everyone else's responsibility to provide for your child. In my family people still buy gift for the new baby but there is no shower and the gifts are usually pretty small like clothes, diapers, etc. Sorry tonight my inner snark must really be coming out between this and the symptoms post.

I disagree with this but I'm also not a real follower of "etiquette". I think everyone has their own opinions (not just in this case but re: wedding showers, engagement parties, etc.).

If my family wanted to throw me a shower for my 2nd kid - I'd be thrilled. For myself and for my family it's about celebrating both the mom and the baby... who doesn't get excited about a new little baby?!

I wouldn't throw a shower for myself (that's a different story IMO) but I don't think anyone is going to have a cow or sign you up for etiquette lessons if you have a 2nd shower. The etiquette police would have died at my wedding - and guess what, I DON'T CARE! Wink

cajunrunner · January 2013

MrsI:
Please read similar posts on the baby shower board. Those girls "know" etiquette. Baby showers are welcoming the mother to be into motherhood, not celebrating the baby. You should only have showers for the first minus a few circumstances. If you need stuff you buy it or shouldn't have gotten pregnant. It's not everyone else's responsibility to provide for your child. In my family people still buy gift for the new baby but there is no shower and the gifts are usually pretty small like clothes, diapers, etc.

Sorry tonight my inner snark must really be coming out between this and the symptoms post.

This. The shower is a celebration for the woman becoming a mother. If you want to have people over after you have the baby to celebrate and meet him/her, that's wonderful, but another shower seems gift grabby to me.

MoonJamieH · January 2013

I would tend to agree...a second shower is tacky. The purpose of a "SHOWER" is to shower the mother to be or bride to be with gifts. So, it might be semantics, but, if you call it a shower, people are expected to bring gifts. If you call it something else, like a sip-n-see, or something that does not imply gifts, it might be a little more acceptable. (and, I think people would bring gifts anyway, but, that's on them - it's not like you are gift grubbing)

cnthrdlywt2bwZ · January 2013

My mom wants to do a small one but I've basically said unless we're having a boy, we REALLY don't "need" anything.
I talked her down to doing lunch for my day's birthday with my close relatives who would be the only people who'd come to a party anyway.
People send gifts and cards anyway and I'll allow it. : I'd feel uncomfortable being at a second shower when kids are so close in age and when we can easily provide for the kid. The after party thing sounds cute. I haven't heard of it before.

anvloveskme · January 2013

I was a little confused by the thread - agree that you should never throw yourself a shower, that is super tacky. I disagree that a second shower is out of the question and think this varies dramatically in social circles and based on where you live. I am sure my office will have a shower for my second - we usually even have them for the men in our office, we just like to throw a damn party I guess! In my group of close girl friends, only two of us have kids, I can't imagine the other 4 taking no for an answer on a shower for this LO. In my circle of friends, the shower is all about the baby.

MichelleDis · January 2013

I think it is tacky in most cases and unecessary..........especially when you have babies that close together (toddler). I have a 5yo and kept all my baby crap because I knew we wanted another. Some of it is probably out of date and will have to go, but that's okay. I don't expect anybody to give me anything or throw us a shower. It will have been 6 years between babies and I am having twins this time around, but that's why I saved stuff and will be looking into twins groups for help on used items too. We are perfectly capable of getting our own crap. LOL! It drove me nuts that my little sister's friends all expected her to throw them a shower for their third and fourth kids. ridiculous!

If your mom feels she must do something- do something small, family only. If there are gifts involved, maybe make it diapers or books- small things.

beezybaby · January 2013

I LOVED my baby shower so much, of course I want another one! BUT, I always feel guilty getting gifts at parties. Baby shower was like 18 months after wedding shower and felt really awkward being at another gifting party for me. I have to remind myself that I love gifting others, I would never think someone if gift grabby for having a second shower, and most others won't either. Maybe just make it very small, and do something special for the ladies that attend.

leightonsmommy · January 2013

I don't see how baby showers are more for the mother. My baby shower consisted of things for my baby, not me. If it was about the mother then there would be things for the mother like breast pads and pumps and creams and anything that helps the mom out. There should be a "mommy shower" with those types of gifts for first time moms. But I think every baby deserves a celebration of life. So have a party! I never made anyone feel obligated to bring anything for even my baby shower. I just wanted the company of my friends and family to celebrate my baby girl. :

Want a personalized experience?

2nd baby shower

Re: 2nd baby shower

Choose Another Board

Search Boards