Dh not so dear at this point

myskyegirl · January 2013

We have an arraigement, I take care of lo at night, feeding, changing, etc, he takes her during the day. He stays up with me until 1am and then it's my turn. Last night was rough, I was up with the baby from 3am-6am and then she was back at 8:30am, while hubby got up at 10:30. I went back to bed at 10:30am and slept until 1pm, when I got up hubby was all upset that he had to deal with her fussyness and crying for 45mins, we argued, I then went to breast pump, and got clothes out of the dryer in the basement and when I came back up he left me to watch her.

I'm now sitting here crying because I'm tired, upset, and he doesn't give a ***.

pamiva1 · January 2013

Hang in there...having a newborn is anadjustment and I've found (after three kids) tat dads often don't have as much patience as we do. It does get easier for everyone!

RockyTopVols · January 2013

It is a big adjustment, before I went back to work- I had to force my wife to get some rest.

I would stay up until 1-2AM and she would sleep from 8PM or so until then, and wake up to feed then go back to sleep. Then she would stay up until the morning and we would both be up in the morning and nap throughout the day.

It is a lot harder now that I am back at work because she doesn't get a break throughout the day. And then she wants to stay up with me when I get home but wants to sleep. She did nap from around 8PM-11PM last night, and then I went to bed.

It is just hard now with me going back to work. It is a process we are figuring out.

LGalipp19 · January 2013

We have been having a hard time too. I just started reading a book that has been really helpful in adjusting our relationship to a new baby. It is called "Babyproofing Your Marriage." It is pretty funny and written by a group of women who learned first hand how men and women adjust differently to a new baby.

LittleFish1 · January 2013

Good job RockTopVols; DH and I are in that stage, and as helpful as he has been, I still get the tears and we will argue at times. Especially when he disappears off into his home office, the garage, or wherever else he has decided to go and clean. Our lack of sleep has led to arguments and disagreements that stem from a lack of communication ... he says one thing, I assume that is how it will be, then he doesn't update me on his plan, and I am still operating under the original plan, meanwhile he has changed his plan two or three more times.

It is too easy to try to equalize things, but the LO's fussy period will shift and be part of the day time routine as well as part of the night time routine over the next few weeks. You both need time outs, and that is where having a family member or friend who can come and watch LO is handy.

Also, at times like these, I appreciate it a lot more when we are complimenting each other rather than using sarcasm because when we are super tired, we do not do so well at deciphering if there is some truth in it or not and are extra snippy in return. Saying such things in front of others makes things even more difficult to decipher. Bmrr's hubby may have been embarrassed by the comment being said in front of his mom. Hopefully you two have someone who can come in, hold LO while both you and DH can go take a nap together.

Edited a bit to make more sense.

RissKay · January 2013

In our experience, DH didn't have the patience I did in the beginning. It's probably best that your DH not watch the baby while getting frustrated and upset. He'll learn; you just have to give him some time. Remember, you've been preparing for this for months, and he's only just started the real prep.

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