Gender Reveal Party Controversy

RealityJunkie · January 2013

I've noticed that a lot of people on TB generally dislike the idea of gender reveal parties. I don't plan on having one, but I thought it would be fun to have the grandparents over for dinner and cut a cake to find blue or pink inside since they won't be at the ultrasound and it would be a fun surprise element for them. For people that have large parties for this, I could care less either way. It's not something I would do, but I don't frown upon those that wish to do it.

Just wondering the reasoning behind a lot of people thinking its awful or tacky? Always interested in differing opinions...

anvloveskme · January 2013

I think if you like the idea and think your family would get a kick out of it, then go for it.

TurtleMomma · January 2013

People are having parties for EVERYTHING now-a-days. Just seems like another excuse to be an AW.

mommi247 · January 2013

I think a lot of people just like to entertain... I don't see myself having a gender reveal party, simply because I don't like to have a bunch of people over lol... I don't see anything wrong if someone wants to have one, but I don't see myself going to one either

RealityJunkie · January 2013

anvloveskme:
I think if you like the idea and think your family would get a kick out of it, then go for it.

Of course, I agree. I will do what I want no matter what, especially with these wacky hormones! Just wondering why people think its so tacky :-)

foxyroxy · January 2013

I only speak for myself, but I find them tacky in the same way I find multiple pre-wedding parties (several showers, bachelorette, engagement party, and on an on...) to be tacky. How many times am I supposed to show up to celebrate your life choices? It just seems so "Look at me! Look at me!" It is like when people are pg or engaged they think everyone else finds their process to be as fascinating as they do. And don't even get me started on the gifts.

mrsf123 · January 2013

I just think it's weird.

anvloveskme · January 2013

RealityJunkie:

anvloveskme:
I think if you like the idea and think your family would get a kick out of it, then go for it.

Of course, I agree. I will do what I want no matter what, especially with these wacky hormones! Just wondering why people think its so tacky :-)

I think people see it as a ploy for more attention and/or being gift grabby. Like attendees would be confused and think they would need to bring a gift like to a shower? It's not my style, but I don't find it patently offensive either.

Augustmama1113 · January 2013

We had our immediate family over for dinner and I baked a cake with blue inside. It was super cute and i didn't feel it was a way to be an AW at all. Our familes got a kick out of it.

Ahtnamas6789 · January 2013

I LOVE the idea of a gender reveal party, or dinner even. Why would anyone want to say anything negative about someone else's likes or interest? I don't get why some people are so mean on TB (maybe its all the hormones he he). If someone likes the idea of it its a great idea, if its not for you don't do it but why bash it??

For myself personally the thought of having a "traditional" baby shower brings a lot of emotions into play. I lost my mom three years ago to breast cancer and since then I have never wanted to have a "traditional" anything without her here.. Everyone is different. No one should judge.

LnR70707 · January 2013

For me, it is just attention whorey and unnecessary. And frankly, they suck and are boring. My SIL had one and we thought it would just be immediate family (which is fine, I don't judge those) but they had all kinds of random neighbors showing up, it was practically standing room only...and we all waited a damn hour with nothing to before they finally cut the cake, which most people couldn't see anyway. To me, it basically says that the host/hostess doesn't think anyone has anything better to do with their time than find out the sex of their baby.

NiksMama · January 2013

I won't have one for myself, but I've been to a couple. I think they're boring for anyone but family. But if someone wants to do it, I don't see anything wrong with it.

EJPint · January 2013

I feel like there's a huge difference between having your parents/siblings over and cutting open a colored cake, vs. inviting friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. over for crudites and punch and party games just to see you open a box of pink balloons and act all, "OMGEEEE, you guys TOTALLY care as much as I do!" The former is cute, and those people actually give a shiit. The latter is AW-y and could be seen as gift grabby IMHO.

kateisgreat · January 2013

I think a gender reveal party is AWish, but finding a cute way to tell the grandparents is a little different. I don't know how to phrase this and not have it sound bad, but it is very likely that they are the only people who will really care about that information. Maybe the aunts and uncles too, but I would seriously be rolling my eyes at my sister if she had a party to tell me she was having a girl.

I'm all for entertaining, maybe it would be less tacky to have people over for no reason and then surprise them with the cake, instead of letting them know it's a special party from the get go? IDK, the whole idea is very "look at me"

MrsI · January 2013

The thought on TB is "no one cares as much as the parents so a party is not necessary.". With DD we decided to have everyone over to cut cake and share the news. Our reasoning wad just so everyone found out together and there was no grumbling over whom we told first. Unfortunately I have an immature MIL when we told her we were expecting her first question was who knew before her and with her and FIL divorced she was mad he knew first. Having everyone over at once eliminated extra stress for me. It was not a big AW production but literally just our family and everyone who truly was dying to know. We found out Thurs and had everyone over Sat, those two days were miserable with texts and calls trying to get it out of us :

We will do the same thing again for the same reason.

foxyroxy · January 2013

EJPint:
I feel like there's a huge difference between having your parents/siblings over and cutting open a colored cake, vs. inviting friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. over for crudites and punch and party games just to see you open a box of pink balloons and act all, "OMGEEEE, you guys TOTALLY care as much as I do!" The former is cute, and those people actually give a shiit. The latter is AW-y and could be seen as gift grabby IMHO.

Pretty much this.

ScarletOflaherty · January 2013

foxyroxy:
I only speak for myself, but I find them tacky in the same way I find multiple pre-wedding parties (several showers, bachelorette, engagement party, and on an on...) to be tacky. How many times am I supposed to show up to celebrate your life choices? It just seems so "Look at me! Look at me!" It is like when people are pg or engaged they think everyone else finds their process to be as fascinating as they do.

This, exactly.

The huge cutesy announcement, the gender reveal, the baby shower...How many times are people really supposed to Ooooh and Ahhh over the fact that you had sex?

MitsB707 · January 2013

This is our first, so we want to keep the gender a secret between the two of us for a little while. We're not planning on a gender reveal party. We were actually thinking of surprising everyone at the baby shower with cupcakes that have either blue or pink inside. We plan on registering for gender neutral things anyway, so nobody will be expecting it, and just thought it would be a nice surprise. I don't think there's anything AW about that since our family and close friends will already be gathering anyway for the shower, ya know?

rissa06 · January 2013

I think they are neat! Go for it.

amandarins · January 2013

I love this idea. Although, ours will be more of a lunch or dinner get together with a suprise cake for desert! Ambush gender reveal

plunderb · January 2013

EJPint:
I feel like there's a huge difference between having your parents/siblings over and cutting open a colored cake, vs. inviting friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. over for crudites and punch and party games just to see you open a box of pink balloons and act all, "OMGEEEE, you guys TOTALLY care as much as I do!" The former is cute, and those people actually give a shiit. The latter is AW-y and could be seen as gift grabby IMHO.

Agree.

Ruger04 · January 2013

We will be having one but close family only! I guess if some of our friends find out we are having it and invite them self's then that's fine. We are not sending out invites though nothing formal just close family and friends!

I CAN"T WAIT!

keithnjulie · January 2013

So I've been to one that was close family and friends at a restaurant for dinner and it was weird. We all sat there ordered, ate, etc, until they decided they would open a box filled with blue balloons... We are their close friends but having it at a place where people have to spend money or making them wait around is annoying... We plan on having immeidate family over to tell them in person with the same reasons as others - no questions about who knew first. We also thought it would be fun to be surprised too and find out when our fam does. Its just his parents and mine so don't think thats much of a party

I say to each his own. If someone wants to do a big party have at it. If you don't that's fine too. Just remember whatever makes you happy might not make everyone else as happy.... seriously it was like a 2.5 hr dinner....

Nascarmom48 · January 2013

We have been talking about this. I want our DD to announce it to everyone. So we have going to have a dinner with just the in laws (my parents live out of state) and some really close friends. We are going to have the a U/S Tech to put it on one of the U/S pictures and then put in a envelope. So we all find out together.

Iblamethebeer · January 2013

cbruckner32:
We had our immediate family over for dinner and I baked a cake with blue inside. It was super cute and i didn't feel it was a way to be an AW at all. Our familes got a kick out of it.

This is what we did. Just our parents and siblings -- everyone fit, seated, around the dining room table. We thought it was fun, they thought it was fun, definitely no one brought gifts.

But also, I'm one of those people who likes having parties, and our families live close by and like each other. I'm always organizing small/informal st. patricks' day parties and christmas tree lighting parties and I-got-a-new-cake-pan parties and whatever. It's not like it's unusual for me to have them all over.

mom0509 · January 2013

I love to have people over and I love the idea. I think any party can be boring if nothing is planned. I also think it all depends on the type personality a person has. I am actually planning to do this with our family and close friends. No gifts just a fun night

Neffy81 · January 2013

I think its cute to do with family, but the big parties aren't for me.

nenaz02 · January 2013

A lot of responses! Well with my daughter we had immediate family over for dinner than revealed. We are lucky enough to have very supportive families that live super close. They loved getting together to eat and talk about the baby it was fun and different. Do whatever you would like. It's not something for everyone...but what is?

aessary03 · January 2013

I know lots of people who have done it .... I really have no opinion either way. My mom-in-law wants us to not find out until the baby shower she throws me ... and then she wants someone to get cupcakes that color and do it at the baby shower. I'm highly opposed to this. I want to know before then! lol. My hubby, bless his heart, told her that was stupid. lol

RealityJunkie · January 2013

See, this is why I love this board. I love all the different perspectives, opinions, ideas, etc.

Thanks for the clarification on the tackiness/AW factor. My pregnant brain couldn't figure it out! I totally agree with the tackiness in having a big gender reveal party, plus 10 showers, plus a sip n see, etc etc etc. I agree that when you keep having them all within the same pregnancy, it just gets to be too much and definitely AW-ish.

I am definitely in agreement with a pp that said that doing the cake (with just family) is good because it eliminates jealousy issues with who we told first. So we are going to have my parents and DH's parents over, and all of us will find out at the same time. No drama.

You guys rock :-)

babydancer83 · January 2013

Wow these replies are humorous!

Before reading this thread, I never thought twice about friends I see on FB who have had cake reveal parties. I always thought, that is so cute and different! So when you actually deliver, and announce what you had..is that also being an AW? I guess you wouldn't post anything on FB, photos and such..

I'm just playing devils advocate.

I wouldn't have extended friends, neighbors, co workers etc come. But if I had my immediate family over for a Sunday dinner and surprised them with a cake I think that is pretty awesome. I want the experience of knowing what I'm having, and also having the surprise factor in there.

And no one should be afraid to say what they want! It's your body, your baby, your choice!

But to each their own

JoySeattle · January 2013

If that sounds fun to you, go ahead and do it!

Melanieian · January 2013

My BFF and her husband entertain ALL the time. They always have people over and cook and drink, it's just normal at their house. She was pregnant with their 2nd child and they had a gender reveal party. They invited all their family and friends, probably about 25 people were there. We ate, played games, visited, then they cut open the cake to reveal it was a boy. We all cried, because no one at the party knew the gender except the girl who made the cake. I didn't feel that the party had anything to do with "look at me". It was a gathering of loved ones to find out the gender of the new baby joining us. I think it is an adorable idea.

Melanieian · January 2013

anvloveskme:
RealityJunkie:

anvloveskme:
I think if you like the idea and think your family would get a kick out of it, then go for it.

Of course, I agree. I will do what I want no matter what, especially with these wacky hormones! Just wondering why people think its so tacky :-)

I think people see it as a ploy for more attention and/or being gift grabby. Like attendees would be confused and think they would need to bring a gift like to a shower? It's not my style, but I don't find it patently offensive either.

I don't see how you get that. A gender reveal party is not a shower and has NOTHING to do with gifts.

V&G101808 · January 2013

Iblamethebeer:

cbruckner32:
We had our immediate family over for dinner and I baked a cake with blue inside. It was super cute and i didn't feel it was a way to be an AW at all. Our familes got a kick out of it.

This is what we did. Just our parents and siblings -- everyone fit, seated, around the dining room table. We thought it was fun, they thought it was fun, definitely no one brought gifts.

But also, I'm one of those people who likes having parties, and our families live close by and like each other. I'm always organizing small/informal st. patricks' day parties and christmas tree lighting parties and I-got-a-new-cake-pan parties and whatever. It's not like it's unusual for me to have them all over.

"I-got-a-new-cake-pan parties" I love this!! And totally agree with you.

In our group of friends and with my close family I'm always known as the party planner and love having people over. We'll probably have a little get together with our parents/siblings/closest friends and cut a cake or do something else cute to reveal the gender to our family/friends. Nothing too big or fancy.

A close friend of mine threw a small party for her gender reveal and it was a lot of fun. They did the ballon/box thing and we were all so excited to find out.

If you're so against them and think they're boring - then RSVP NO next time someone invites you!

cajunrunner · January 2013

I think they're fun and a good excuse to have friends and family over. I plan on having one just for immediate family and very close friends. I see nothing aw about it. I have a friend who is planning one and I'm excited to be able to witness their reactions when they find out the sex. Everyone has their own opinions though.

Mrs.KMid · January 2013

We are going to do a reveal with immediate family over for dinner. My opinion is that people should do whatever they like, its a time for celebrating and you should celebrate however you like.

kahlan82 · January 2013

Maritza707:
This is our first, so we want to keep the gender a secret between the two of us for a little while. We're not planning on a gender reveal party. We were actually thinking of surprising everyone at the baby shower with cupcakes that have either blue or pink inside. We plan on registering for gender neutral things anyway, so nobody will be expecting it, and just thought it would be a nice surprise. I don't think there's anything AW about that since our family and close friends will already be gathering anyway for the shower, ya know?

That is a really cute idea, I might have to steal it. There are so many items we need and I am afraid that we will get a bunch of boy or girl newborn clothes and not the bottles and bed sheets I really want them to buy me.

MichelleDis · January 2013

I think it is a little silly, but to each their own. My sister did one for both babies and her SIL did one too. It was a huge party with cake pops and inside was pink or blue- everyone took a bite at once. My BIL kept laughing at how dumb the whole thing was. LOL. We won't do one, but will find a fun simple way to announce the news to family- no big party.

UnicornPirate · April 2013

Oh, boo hoo! You people! A couple of my friends have had gender reveal and I thought it was cute. They live out of state so I did not attend, but I am going to one this week. If you don't want to go then don't! It's just for fun. I might have one next time and invite a few people and leave it open to anyone who may wan to join. Maybe have a barbecue. Although the invitation would say no gifts but they would be welcome to bring food. You people are so cynical, no one forces you to go and I certainly wouldn't want any of you whiners at any of my parities. :

plainoljane · April 2013

I think they're a lot of fun, personally. But then again, I think it's for close friends and family. With DD1 she was the first grandchild on either side, I was the first of my friends to have a kid, etc. it was exciting. This time around, we aren't having a shower, so a gender reveal party with just a few people was a fun way to celebrate baby.

Want a personalized experience?

Gender Reveal Party Controversy

Re: Gender Reveal Party Controversy

Choose Another Board

Search Boards