Loss CheckIn

Mrs Nice · January 2013

Hello Ladies,

Welcome to our Thursday checkin!

I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: How did you cope over the holidays?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

lolee465 · January 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

I taught myself how to crochet (with youtube videos) and I started to make Jillian a blanket. I just felt like I needed to do something for her.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

I just want to finish her blanket, and we just started ttc so hopefully soon I'll be able to make one for our rainbow.

QOTW: How did you cope over the holidays?

We didn't. We completely skipped the holidays and stayed at a hotel in a casino a few hours away. We lived in denial, and it was still really hard.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Just missing my girl every second, and hoping that we can make her a big sister someday soon.

jrebele · January 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

No new steps this week but I don't think there were any major steps back either so I figure that is a success.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

To schedule my next appointment for therapy. I have been dragging my feet but I know it will help me.

QOTW: How did you cope over the holidays?

I did ok for the most part. Christmas was hard because I was missing Sophia and made the mistake of going onto Facebook. I just got bitter that there were pictures of all these babies sitting opening presents first thing in the morning and the first thing we did was go to the cemetary.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Going back to work. Yesterday was my first day back since August. I am anxious over how Eva is doing and just missing Sophia because it is another reminder that both my babies aren't around to bring to daycare.

meli1025 · January 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? No new steps, but no steps backwards either. I do feel like my healing has come a long way in the past three months and is slowly getting better.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I just want to continue eating right and maybe lose a couple more lbs.

QOTW: How did you cope over the holidays? I actually did a lot better than I thought I would. I think it's because we were just so busy. I never let myself sit and think about everything, I tried to keep doing things around the house non-stop.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Ava's three month angelversary tomorrow. I miss my baby girl and the life I wanted for us. I also keep stalking my old BMB which is killing me, seeing everyone get ready for their lo's. I don't know why I am torturing myself like this.

jbranden12 · January 2013

meli1025:
I also keep stalking my old BMB which is killing me, seeing everyone get ready for their lo's. I don't know why I am torturing myself like this.

((HUGS)) I did the same thing for weeks after we lost Patricia.

mmarquez209 · January 2013

I dont know how to begin to heal. I have trouble going to sleep and concentrating, I went back to work 2 Weeks after losing catalina, its the only place that keeps me busy. I cant be around any family or friends except my boyfriend nd kids. I had a panic attack cuz I ran into one cuzzin. I spend evry moment aching for my daughter, I keep reliving everything that happened during the 2 days at the hospital. I want to try again in a few months but then I dnt, I wanted her nd I still do...

jmlind · January 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
I went to work so taht counts I guess, even though I spent today crying in random corners. It just doesn't stop getting hard and hasn't gotten any better.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

I need to figure out a way to manage work one step at a time without trying to do too much and start TTC again!

QOTW: How did you cope over the holidays?

I didn't - the holidays was when I lost Michael, and it really just isn't a holiday season
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Weight loss... Ugh.

starburst0928 · January 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

No, but no major backword steps. I don't cry everyday anymore, but I wish I sort of did. The one year anniversary if my BFP is coming up on the 11th, which so happens to be when I'll be 9 dpo this cycle (and likely testing). I'm upset that DS's dates are already getting mixed in with my potential rainbow baby.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 4 more pounds need to be lost! Continue to eat righ and exercise. I've lost a hard fought 15 pounds since November! Note to self, do not gain 65 pounds with rainbow baby!

QOTW: How did you cope over the holidays? I pretended it wasn't the holidays. It was Christmas for others, just not me. It sort of worked, but I still cried a lot...

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? TTC and hoping this is my cycle, but being realistic about it. I've been struggling with the fact that everyone else gets babies, but I (we) don't. What's up with that?

OSUWifey09 · January 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I started taking care of myself. My sister got engaged over the holidays, and I'll be her matron of honor in June 2014 - I want to be fit and fab. H and I are also going to start TTC in April/May, and I want to lose the last of my pregnancy weight [5 pounds] and some additional pounds to be in the best shape possible. So I started exercising and saw my OB to get my cycles back on track [and get my hormones in check]. I want 2013 to be a strong, solid one for me, and I feel like I'm getting back on track with my life.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I just want to focus on getting fit right now. And focus on DS. I can admit that I haven't been the best mom to him [as in, not as attentive and loving] since I lost Devon because I've been so wrapped up in my grief. But now that I am starting to come back out of the fog, he deserves all I have.

QOTW: How did you cope over the holidays? Christmas wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be, but the holidays were still hard. I cried a lot more than I have in awhile, and I spent a lot of time holding my Molly Bear and wishing Devon was here. But now that I made it through my first set of holidays without him, I feel OK.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I really have to stop dwelling on the past and worrying about the future. Whatever will happen will happen, and if Devon's loss taught me anything, it's that we never know how long we'll be here and that planning for a future doesn't always go as planned. I have to start enjoying my life again.

jebretz · January 2013

Hi,

I am a new loss mom. It has been one week today since I lost my triplets at 20 weeks due to cervical insufficiency.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

I am functional, and I think that is a big step. I had a total breakdown this morning, which was a step back, during their birth minutes. Overall, I am better than I was 6 days ago.

What is the next goat you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

My next goal is to make it through the week. After spending two weeks with family, it is a huge change to be by ourselves again. My plan is to keep busy. I have lined up friends and events to help me pass the time.

How did you cope over the holidays?

My New Years Eve will never be the same. I guess I will have to answer this in more detail next year.

Open Topic: Whats on your mind this week?

What exactly is a rainbow baby?

Pumpkins+Junebug · January 2013

My intro:

I delivered my daughter at 2:08 am on 1-8-13. I was almost 17 weeks. We named her Lily Annabelle. I was discharged this morning once they were happy with my blood pressure.

I don't feel like I'm doing very well, but I don't know what is normal, really. I just have tons of unanswerable questions (namely, WHY) and am finding comfort in nothing. I do have a supportive family, but I know they don't want to talk about Lily too much - too sad.

I just want to talk to people who aren't going to shut down on me.

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