TTC#2 Is this selfish

tiffjersey · December 2008

My DD is almost eight months and we would like our kids to be 2 years apart.We were going to start to TTC in Oct 09 but lately I've had 2nd thoughts. It has more to do with my job.. I'm in financial sales. I get a base and commission, during my pregnancy with DD I was useless always tired and sick. I was on bedrest two separate times. I didn't make any commission. Now I'm finally back to work(4 months back at work) and my commission has finally gotten to where it was and even better before I got preg.

I kinda don't want to mess that up. I know money isn't everything put $1500-3000 extra a month sure is nice. Especially since my OB told me when I get preg again that more than likely I will be on bedrest because I have a placenta problem.

I'm torn. WDYT?

Thanks

shouldbeworkin · December 2008

If it was me, I would probably start saving now so that you're not as greatly impacted by a reduction in commissions while you're PG. So, that might put TTC #2 off a little, but it will probably be worth it. My kids are about 2 years apart and DS is over 3 now. I think my DS would have done great with a new sibling at anytime and it probably would have been easier on me if he was older.

madhatter2003 · December 2008

I would just work out what you need to save to feel comfortable before TTC #2, even if that means waiting.

FWIW my kids will be exactly 2 years apart pretty much, and while at times it is hard this pregnancy has been a breeze compared to my last one.

mrshutch · December 2008

I don't think you're being selfish at all- it's actually the exact opposite. You're just looking out for yourself and your family. So you're just a good mom

If it were me, I would also be putting it off just a bit. It doesn't mean you have to wait forever, but I think it's also nice to have a bit of a cushion. I don't know what your childcare situation is like, but our DD is in daycare and I'm hoping ot continue working w/ #2, so any extra money we save we can put toward daycare and other costs for 2 kids.

Maybride2 · December 2008

How is it "selfish" to want to be in the best financial shape before TTC? IMO, it would be more selfish to TTC knowing that you'd barely be scraping by financially......just to keep your kids at the magical "2 years" difference.

Bella427 · December 2008

FWIW my pedi said the optimal age between kids is 2.5 to 3 years. So, why not put off TTC 6 more months and save all that money to have a nice cushion? Not selfish at all!