Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
mgade001
member
Re: What to wear?
Make sure you get some heavy pads for bleeding but you can also put one over your incision to catch drainage and it will also be a buffer between clothes and your incision.
My recovery went great. Try not to do any lifting or bending down and just go slow. Also it really hurt to laugh or sneeze so don't watch anything funny when you get home. I can't remember what we watched on tv but I had to make DH change the channel. Good luck!
This! I also didn't wear my regular underwear for a couple weeks, they sent me home with those hospital underwear (they are nice because they go up on your belly.... not sexy, but ideal!)
Good luck mumma!!! How exciting to be meeting your LO soon!
I bought seamless, high-wasted underwear in a size or two larger than I normally wear. It was super comfy. I actually hated going back to my regular underwear.
Good luck with your c-section!
I had an emergency c-section in the middle of the night, but had a very good recovery from it and was up and about by the middle of the next morning. I packed my own pads (thin overnight Always ones) and black granny panties that were a size up from my normal size- this combo was MUCH more comfortable for me than the hospital diaper-sized pads and mesh panties. I also had black yoga pants with the fold-down top (2 pairs) and nursing tanks (3) and a zip-up hoodie and flip-flops. I was much more comfortable being in "real" clothes- especially doing my laps of the floor.
Other things I packed that I was really happy to have: mouthwash and facial wipes to clean up before I could get out of bed, my own supply of Tums (hospital had gross liquid stuff), my own toiletries and makeup. I wish I had packed my Breast Friend nursing pillow with DS#1 and will definitely bring it this time.
We also had our electronics (iPhone, iPad, camera, and chargers) and a NB and 0-3 outfit for DS to come home in, hat, mittens, and a blanket. Don't forget clothes/toiletries for DH and maybe some pillows.
My pain after wasn't bad at all- I didn't have any pain meds at all after the stuff in my IV wore off. It was a little sore getting in/out of beds and chairs, but once I was up, I was fine. I also needed DH to help get SD out of the bassinet and carry the car seat for the first week or two. My incision healed up well. My advise is to get up and start walking as soon as the nurses will let you and keep the incision as clean as you can- really work with your DH to make sure you can get a shower every day and you'll feel a million times better.
They brought me DS to breast feed about an hour and a half after he was born. He latched right on for breastfeeding, and we never really had a problem. If you want to breastfeed, I would just be very vocal about it and make sure everyone knows you want LO brought to you as soon as possible. Don't be shy to ask for a lactation consultant if you need some help.
Good luck! I think I had an unusually good experience, but my c-section was not at all the nightmare I thought it would be- it was really a very positive experience.
I wore the gown the whole time I was in the hospital. It was much easier to go to the bathroom and didn't put anything around my waist. I wore the mesh panties the first few days and then regular bikinis after that. I didn't see the need for high waisted ones, my post-baby belly probably would have rolled them down anyway.
The spinal was not a big deal at all. You have to curl up so that they can put the shot between your vertebrae. First they do a numbing shot (which hurts, but is really fast) and then the actual block. The block is weird because you can't feel them do it, but then you feel sort of an electric feeling shoot down to your legs. Not painful at all, but just an odd feeling.
As far as pain afterward, just stay on top of your meds. You will be a better mom and recover better if you aren't miserable. And, it is much easier to avoid pain then to stop it once it has started.
I wore the hospital gown while I was in the hospital, but that was only for about 48 hours. It was just easier to wear it while I knew the nurses would have to look at my incision and do nursing stuff. When I went home I wore my maternity jeans. I bought what I thought were high waisted panties, but were actually bikini underwear (apparently I don't read packaging well), so I just folded the elastic part down so it didn't rub my incision. The first week afterwards when I wasn't wearing maternity jeans I was wearing my husband's gym shorts that are larger than what I wear, so I could pull the elastic band up over my belly.
The one piece of advice I'd offer is get up out of bed as soon as the nurses will let you (usually after they take the catheter out, which for me was the next morning, but I didn't have my c-section until 4 pm). You'll be sore, especially any time you go to get up, but you'll feel better once you're standing. The anesthesiologist gave me IV morphine at the end of the c-section in the OR without telling me what she was giving me - if I had known it was morphine before she had given it, I would've refused - which made me extremely nauseous and made me vomit several times afterwards. As a result, I refused all other narcotics and just took Motrin, which actually worked fine for me. Take whatever pain medicine you need, but use it to help you get up out of bed, not to knock yourself out.
I had an unplanned C/S so I didn't pack anything specifically for a c/s. But what I did pack I was grateful for!
I packed nightgowns that I wore once I was allowed to shower. I just felt better being in my own clothes than the hospital gown. I also had pj bottoms and tank tops I was thinking about wearing but when it came to going to the bathroom it was really nice not having to bend over to pull any pants up. It was challenging enough to that with the mesh undies.
That being said, I took home as many mesh undies as I could from the hosipital! They were amazing and super comfy. I also bought some cheap high waisted hanes undies before I went in to the hospital because I didn't want to bleed all over my nice ones.
Do as the PP's have said and get up and moving as soon as you can. Try and do a little bit more each and every day, I really believe that's what made me recover so easily and so nicely. When I was home I went for walks everyday with DS around the block or had my mom take me to the store to walk around indoors if it were too hot outside.
Take your meds and don't be afraid to call the nurses anytime you need help getting out of bed, esp the first few times! I'm stubborn and like to try and do things on my own, but I learned quickly I needed help in the beginning and those nurses were a godsend!
GL and congrats on meeting your new addition very very soon
Hearing that first cry is hands down THE BEST sound you will ever hear!!
PS - a little advice for you DH, if and when he goes to take pictures of your LO while you are still on the operating table, tell him not to look at you when he turns around to come back. My DH freaked out because they didn't warn him that I was still cut open and exposed and he went into panic mode!
BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12
DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018
Me: 36 | DH: 39
Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP
11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
Ditto for everything in bold
My first two pregnancies I used velour track suits and they never bothered the incision (I didn't wear them super-snug, as was fashionable at that time, mine had a little give to them).
This time around, I've got two pairs of the same cotton pants (a lot like yoga pants) that are lightweight, soft, and don't squeeze, so I'll be wearing those. I practically live in them when I'm at home. I'll pair them with tank tops and zip-up sweatshirts (I never know what the hospital temperature will be like, so light layers is the way to go).
I'm planning to bring a couple pairs of yoga pants and the maternity tanks I've been wearing as well as a couple of other regular nursing tank tops. After my last CSection, I was 15 pounds lighter when I left the hospital than the day I found out I was pregnant, so all the bigger stuff I'd brought didn't fit me.
I also used pads as a buffer between my pants and the incision site. This was PERFECT! I'd had some light bleeding for a few days after surgery and having that there saved me from having to throw out my comfy pants because they were stained.
I haven't a c-section before, but I'm also having some complications that will probably require a c-section.
However, I did have an emergency appendectomy 2 years ago and ended up with 3 incisions on my abdomen. I wore cotton dresses for the first couple days afterwards, and I'm planning to do the same this time. I found pants of any kind to be possible, but really uncomfortable, so why bother?
This time I'm planning on going to Target to get some cute cotton dresses before I go to the hospital to wear during recovery.