TTC after 35

Back from therapy session :)

She is way too happy for me...lol. She basically said I was feeing what is expected, I'm too hard on myself and MH should come to a session so she can tell him it's normal on what I'm feeling.

Basically everything that you ladies tell me on here. All I could think when she was talking was...yep...that's what the board would say!! Atleast the board saves me $...haaha. Seriously though...after putting 11 hrs in today I really was too tired to talk or concentrate. Did she help? Not sure. I guess. Maybe I thought she would give me ideas on how to cope. I just feel weird talking to therapists. I wasn't upset or anything but like I said I had a busy day at work.

That's all. Now I need to go have a bowl of Frosted Flakes...yes at 8:30...so bad!

ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


 

 

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Re: Back from therapy session :)

  • Did it help to just vent to someone?  Just saying it out loud or forcing yourself to verbalize your feelings will help.  I guess it helps to be in the right frame of mind too.  Maybe try her again and see if it is worth it?

    Mmm... Frosted flakes.  I had cocoa krispies last night and they were wonderful.  :)

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  • Congrats on taking the step to talk to someone. I've considered it myself. The closest IF therapist I've found is an hour drive away. I wonder myself what I could gain from it. You're right, the boards are very helpful in letting me vent, allowing me to ask questions, and learn new things about IF. But what would I gain from a therapist? New insight? Solutions to my problems? Someone else to make these god-awful decisions for me? Because if I can't get at least one of those three things, I don't know that it would be worth it for me. Thank you for sharing your experience!

    imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage
    My BLOG: www.ivfbabyquest.wordpress.com -Update - old blog.

    PAIF/SAIF Welcome!
    Me: 42, Hubby: 35, TTC since Jan 2010. Dx: DOR due to advanced maternal age. Also: Hypothyroidism (100mcg Levothyroxin). Positive for MTHFR (hetero-C677T), Factor V Leiden, and Fragile X (on DH side). Taking pre-natal vitamins
    .
    First natural PG 9/27/11; mc: 1/20/12

    First RE visit: 8/8/12, Saline Sonogram: 8/28/12, IVF injection class: 10/11/12, add FaBB Tab for FVL, +Vitamin D.
    IVF #1: 10/17/12 Baseline: FSH- 9.4, E2- 24, LH- 3.7, Prog- 0.3 The u/s showed 6 follicles in my right  & 9 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 10/21/12: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning.
    ER 10/28/12: 13 Retreived. 7 Mature. 6 Fertilized. 5 Made it to PGS. ET 11/2/12: CANCELED. All 5 came back from PGS as having "severe abnormalities."
    IVF #2: 1/7/13 Baseline: FSH- 8.8, 4 follicles in my right & 6 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 1/11/13: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning. hCG Trigger 1/16/13

    ER 1/18/13: 9 Retrieved. 5 Mature. 5 Fertilized. 2 Made it to PGS. ET 1/23/13: CANCELED. All embryos (he even sent the ones not growing) came back from PGS as having "multiple severe abnormalities."
    IVF #3:
    NEW RE! 3/1/13 Baseline: FSH- 9.6, E2- 61, Prog- 0.94, 3 follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle& 150 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/7/13: Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. hCG Trigger 3/9/13 SQ.
    ER 3/11/13: 6R, 2M, 2F. Day 3: one 8 cell, grade 0.  Five day ET 3/16/13: one early blast, grade Fair. 3/24/13 AF came a day before beta. BFN

    IVF #4: 
    (Added acupuncture to this cycle.) 3/25/13 WTF & Baseline: FSH-11.8, E2- 56, Prog- 0.84 3/26/13 Start stims. 3/30/13 u/s: 5 follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 225 Bravelle& 225 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/31/13 Add Ganirelix SQ in AM.hCG Trigger 4/3/13 SQ.
    ER 4/5/13: 5R, 3M, 3F naturally. Day 3: two 8 cell, grade 0, one 8 cell, grade 2 (Scale 0-best to 3-worst). Five day ET 4/10/13: two blastocysts (the 3rd stopped growing.) Beta 4/18/13: 2.5 BFFN. RE recommends we stop trying and focus on living childless, due to the extremely poor quality of my eggs.
    ***Decided to stop trying and live CFNBC. I couldn't adjust. So, six months later...

    IVF #5: Changed RE. Going to one of the big name clinics now. OWDU: 10/29/13. Update: HORRIBLE experience. Disgusted and distraught at their complete unprofessionalism and how much money and precious time they cost us. Sickening. Have now changed RE again. New Patient appt. 1/30/14.
    BFP! Out of nowhere, I got KU the old fashioned way! POAS 1/26/14 - Positive! FDLM 12/30/13. Beta #1 16dpo= 373. Beta #2 18dpo= 801. EDD 10/6/14
    2/4/14 1st U/S revealed a 5wk2day sac but no fetal pole. Started 200mgs of progesterone suppositories daily
    2/11/14 2nd U/S revealed a perfect 6wk1day "diamond ring" embryo with a beating heart! 138bpm! Add 1mg folic acid and 40mg Lovenox
    2/25/14 3rd U/S: perfect 8w1d embryo, 178bpm. 3/6 start spotting. 3/11 10w1d U/S shows no heartbeat. Scheduling D&C. The Stork has forsaken me again.
    IVF #5.2: New in-state RE. Supplement priming for 1.5 cycles prior to start of cycle, including DHEA 50mg (stopped 5/15), CoQ10 200mg 2x/day, L-Arginine- 1000mg 2x/day (stopped 6/5 due to cold sore!), myo-inositol- 2g 2x/day, melatonin- 3mg, and Neevo (prenatal for MTHFR).
    5/16/14 Day 2 bw cycle prior: FSH- 12.22, E2- 38.37, Prog- 1.35, LH- 9.46. 6/2/14 Day 19 bw: Prog- 23
    6/12/14 Baseline: E2- 122.7, Prog- 0.4. 5 follicles in left, 4 follicles in right. Start stims: 375IU Follistim & 150IU Menopur. 6/19 Increase Follistim to 425IU, Menopur still 150IU. 6/18 add Ganirelix. 6/23 Ovidrel trigger SQ. 6/25 ER: 8R, 8M, 5F naturally. Start Medrol & Doxy. 6/26 Start Endometrin. 7/2 Start Lovenox.
    7/8/14 Beta= 137.4 BFP!!! (My first from IVF!) E2- 1109, Prog- >60. Stop CoQ10, myo-inositol, and melatonin. 7/9 2nd Beta= 281.4. TSH- 2.70. Increasing Synthroid to 100mcg daily. 7/24 6w3d u/s measured 6w3d, hb: 121bmp! 8/5 8w1d u/s measured 8w3d, hb: 164bpm! Graduated from RE to OB. Now I just need to find an OB!
    EDD 3/18/15!

  • image10-4LilBuddy:

    Did it help to just vent to someone?  Just saying it out loud or forcing yourself to verbalize your feelings will help.  I guess it helps to be in the right frame of mind too.  Maybe try her again and see if it is worth it?

    Mmm... Frosted flakes.  I had cocoa krispies last night and they were wonderful.  :)

    Oh yummy! My all time fav is Fruity Pebbles but I don't even buy those because the box would be empty in few days!

    I guess it helped to vent. She commented on how calm I was. So then I explained how I was a mess for the last 2 yrs and the yrs before when I was married the first time. I go through my phases. Last week I hated my SIL this week I told her I would go shopping with her...go figure.

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

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  • imagechucktgirl:
    Congrats on taking the step to talk to someone. I've considered it myself. The closest IF therapist I've found is an hour drive away. I wonder myself what I could gain from it. You're right, the boards are very helpful in letting me vent, allowing me to ask questions, and learn new things about IF. But what would I gain from a therapist? New insight? Solutions to my problems? Someone else to make these god-awful decisions for me? Because if I can't get at least one of those three things, I don't know that it would be worth it for me. Thank you for sharing your experience!

     Wow that stinks that therapist is that far away! Well mine was more an adoption therapist but said she deals with IF too. I have a call into another lady that I think is more IF. Not sure if there really is a big difference?

    Don't get me wrong she helped in reinforcing that the few things I did were what she would of told me to do. Don't feel bad not going to baby showers or hanging out with friends and their baby. She said if they are really your friend then they should totally understand. Same with family members. Atleast she didn't tell me I was too old like my last therapist!!

    I think you should try seeing one. It can't hurt :)

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

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  • imageBeckyP005:

    She is way too happy for me...lol. She basically said I was feeing what is expected, I'm too hard on myself and MH should come to a session so she can tell him it's normal on what I'm feeling.

    Basically everything that you ladies tell me on here. All I could think when she was talking was...yep...that's what the board would say!! Atleast the board saves me $...haaha. Seriously though...after putting 11 hrs in today I really was too tired to talk or concentrate. Did she help? Not sure. I guess. Maybe I thought she would give me ideas on how to cope. I just feel weird talking to therapists. I wasn't upset or anything but like I said I had a busy day at work.

    That's all. Now I need to go have a bowl of Frosted Flakes...yes at 8:30...so bad!

    This..the number one reason I enjoy therapy > she gives me ideas on how to cope.  I have learned so many tricks / tips to squash my anxiety!!!

    Enjoy those frosted flakes!!!

    Me = 39 DH = 50 TTC (since 01/2009 after a short break, I stopped counting *cycles* in 2010)
    DX 2010 : Unknown Infertility , AMA
    HSG 2005 = Normal / HSG 2010 = Normal
    SA 2005 = Normal / SA 2010 /2012 = Slightly low count : motility, morphology GREAT!
    Chromosomal analysis, MTHFR, ANA's, Lupus, Protein C, Protein S, APCR = Normal 2011

    M/C : 2005 (7wk), 2010 (6wk), 2011 (7wk)

    8 IUI's 2010-2011 all BFN

    IVF/ICSI antagonist 01/2012 #1 = BFN

    IVF/ICSI antagonist long 06/2012 #2 = BFN

    IVF/ICSI/CGH MDLF New Clinic/New RE 11/2012 #3 = One beautiful boy blasty frozen PGS normal

    IVF/ICSI/CGH MDLF 02/2013 #4 = One more beautiful boy blasty frozen PGS normal

    FET 6/20 : One 5AA PGS normal transferred Beta 1 6/28 = 53.9 / Beta 2 7/1 = 220 / Beta 3 7/3 = 550!

    1 U/S  6w3d - Heartbeat 119 /  2 U/S - 7w5d- Heartbeat 169 / 3 U/S (OB) 8w5d - Heartbeat still great!

    Baby G welcomed into the world 3/7/2014

    SAIF / PAIF always welcome ****

     

    image

  • I am starting to believe that I need to see someone as well.  I really hate talking to shrinks.   I saw my 1st therapist when I was going through a painful divorce with my ex husband and my therapist was great!  It took me a few sessions to feel comfortable spilling my guts to a stranger but she was excellent.  I would like to find someone with a specialty of infertility.
    Photobucket Me:36 DH: 34 TTC since 02/2012, not preventing since 2010. Me: testing came back good. DH: dx: MIF low count/motility. RE recommends IVF with ICSI. Update: DH just diagnosed with severe Crohn's disease, so any IF treatment is on hold :(
  • I'm so glad your session went well!  I hope your DH is open to coming along to a future session.
  • If you just had an initial appointment she may not have had time to give you coping skills. Keep going and you will get some techniques. I am a therapist and that first session is just information gathering then we start to work the next session. I also just started seeing a therapist. I have a hard time talking to someone about my problems too but I know it the end it will help.
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  • imageDTNZ4Ever:
    If you just had an initial appointment she may not have had time to give you coping skills. Keep going and you will get some techniques. I am a therapist and that first session is just information gathering then we start to work the next session. I also just started seeing a therapist. I have a hard time talking to someone about my problems too but I know it the end it will help.
    Yes I kinda figured that we couldn't possibly cover everything in one session. BTW....your son is adorable :)

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

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  • imageBeckyP005:
    imageDTNZ4Ever:
    If you just had an initial appointment she may not have had time to give you coping skills. Keep going and you will get some techniques. I am a therapist and that first session is just information gathering then we start to work the next session. I also just started seeing a therapist. I have a hard time talking to someone about my problems too but I know it the end it will help.
    Yes I kinda figured that we couldn't possibly cover everything in one session. BTW....your son is adorable :)

     

    Thanks!

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