Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
bullybutt
member
Re: What made you leave?
He left in the middle of our son's 1st birthday party "to work" & I came home and found him asleep. This was the last straw after 6 years of fighting, arguing, not trusting him & feeling like he doesn't put me or our family first, etc.
We tried to talk through it in counseling, but it didn't go well & when he refused to continue to go we decided to divorce. I filed in December.
30 years later I am so grateful my mom made that decision. And didn't waste any time with it. I have no memories of living with my dad or ever seeing him drunk. My only wish is that he'd just resigned himself from my life completely, as he is little more than a 70 year obligation now. Yeah, I'm a little bitter :
I left after it had gotten physical for the second time while I was 3 months pregnant. I had put up with his verbal/physical abuse for long enough, but I wasn't going to let my baby go through his abuse. I love this little guy too much to bring him into a world with that pathetic excuse as a father. So I left, and here I am. I have to say that my only regret is not leaving sooner. But I'm still getting over the fact that I'm going to be in this alone. It scares me sometimes and I wonder how I can do it. Then I have a flashback of what it was like with him, and I thank god for giving me the strength to leave.
I made him leave last night.
DH and I have been together for almost 6 years, our DD is 4, and we just got married 6 months ago... Now I'm 6 months pregnant. (It was a fun wedding!) Since we have been together, he has always had difficulty holding a job, but never let it go too far between jobs, since he also has a 7 year old to pay child support for.
Since 2 months before the wedding, he has only worked a job for one month. It was a seasonal job between Thanksgiving and Christmas, that he got bc I applied for him online. When I go on maternity leave, I will not be eligible for any kind of pay. I have been begging for him to try to find anything but he has not tried at all. He is home with DD all day, but does not take care of her. I have to get her breakfast ready before I leave for work, and then I found out he was putting her down for a nap without feeding her lunch. He plays Xbox until 3-4am, then doesn't wake up to take care of her. He also refuses to do absolutely anything around the house. He has started with horrible verbal abuse, calling me a c*nt all the time (mostly when I ask him to do something related to cleaning), and telling me about how everything is my fault. It's my fault the house doesn't stay clean, it's my fault he isn't motivated to find a job.
I think my pregnancy hormones have given me more balls than usual. I finally decided that I was f*cking sick of worrying about DD all day at work, and sick of coming home every night to a mess. I decided that if I have to act like a single mother and do everything for myself, that I might as well be one. It will be easier for me to not have to clean up after him and deal with him.
So last night when I got home, I asked him to leave and told him not to come back until he has a job and is ready to be a responsible parent. He left without a fight, and took his xbox instead of clothes, so I highly doubt he will be doing a job hunting any time soon. Right now I'm a little confused about how I feel... I'm not feeling very upset about it right now... but I feel like it's going to hit me soon. I know the worst part if he decides not to come back will be explaining it to our 4 yr old, but we both deserve to be treated better and I know if this holds out, then eventually she will know I did the right thing.
"Because when you stop and look around, this life is pretty amazing."
~Dr. Suess