SAHM Please come on in!

November3Love · January 2013

I know that for DH & I, we are in the situation where I am a SAHM and I love it, I absolutely do! I feel so blessed that I don't have to leave at any point to go to work and risk missing out on anything with LO. (Not to rub it in, working mommies, because I don't know how you handle doing that, honestly-I have respect for you like crazy on that!) Just.. follow me on this one, yeah...?

I just can't help but feel a little bit every once in awhile like I miss Wedding Coordinating. I have these random moments where I miss it or parts of it, like meeting a new couple and they tell me how they met, or a simple acknowledgment for being creative and thinking out side the box. Every wedding (brides usually call the shots, though, so it's 90% them I handle) it is always so unique and I love being able to do things that I didn't/ wouldn't/ couldn't for my own wedding. It's fun to get the opportunities to do that and to share in their excitement. They each have their own stories and I love that I can be a part of it, in helping bring their visions to reality.

I just wonder, am I the only one that gets these brief moments of that feeling? I can't help but feel like, for as much as I miss it and would enjoy that again, I think that staying home with LO (for a bit more time, anyhow) is in our family's best interest. (tia for your input, everyone!)

nesenotes · January 2013

The universe has spoken...

That is all

mandiek72512 · January 2013

Strangest post.. ever..

nesenotes · January 2013

hi jinx:
Laides don't be upset, she has mad props for you all.

Neat post indeed.

Yes

RTaylor12 · January 2013

So let me get this straight...

You want us to tell you it's ok to miss your fantastic job of wedding planning because you left it for your even more fantastic job of being a SAHM? God, that must be so rough for you. Hmm Thanks for the pity, though.

November3Love · January 2013

WTH...I realize now that this is simply a post that I couldn't win with it: To some, I'm just complaining about being with my LO & it becomes a 'pity party' & to others it's as though the work I miss is a joke. But none of you even really know me. I was sharing a thought and asking a question. I wasn't being so presumptuous to define others and their work and their personal situations. I was merely explaining mine. I wasn't trying to spark a debate of any kind about SAHMs & Working Moms. I get that every family is different and every circumstance is, as well. To each their own. If it doesn't apply to you, why even comment, then? I didn't judge or have a snark remark on anyone, so why be so inclined to have at me with that?

It's near shameful the amount of 'Keyboard Courage' some have. Brutal.

megs52881 · January 2013

Yikes. I would have said this Isnt going to go well if I saw this when you first posted . Too late.

November3Love · January 2013

megs52881:
Yikes. I would have said this Isnt going to go well if I saw this when you first posted . Too late.

Apparently. I didn't mean anything negative by it, megs. It honestly wasn't intended to be taken the way in which it was received.

reinedecajun · January 2013

Eh tacky

November3Love · January 2013

nellrose:
November3Love:
WTH...I realize now that this is simply a post that I couldn't win with it: To some, I'm just complaining about being with my LO amp; it becomes a 'pity party' amp; to others it's as though the work I miss is a joke. But none of you even really know me. I was sharing a thought and asking a question. I wasn't being so presumptuous to define others and their work and their personal situations. I was merely explaining mine. I wasn't trying to spark a debate of any kind about SAHMs amp; Working Moms. I get that every family is different and every circumstance is, as well. To each their own. If it doesn't apply to you, why even comment, then? I didn't judge or have a snark remark on anyone, so why be so inclined to have at me with that?It's near shameful the amount of 'Keyboard Courage' some have. Brutal.
For what it's worth I don't think, had the topic been approached differently, that the post would have flamed up as much as it did. You indirectly insinuated a working moms vs. stay at home mom debate [a topic we all know is touchy], when it could have been as simple as "I need a little adult interaction and miss that".

I agree. I am admitting that perhaps it wasn't given or received as was initially intended. I sincerely apologize.

lilahbean13 · January 2013

Although I'm with Nell and don't fully understand what you are asking here I can relate somewhat. I love being a sahm at the moment but some days I do feel the urge to go back to work for some satisfaction other than being a mom. Whether a mom is working because she has to or because she wants to is irrelevant. I don't HAVE to work but life would be easier if I did. That being said on the days I miss work its not because of the money it's because I simply want to use my brain. So if you're asking if there are other sahm that love being with baby but sometimes miss work then yes I am one of them. I don't even know if that's what you're asking or why though!

November3Love · January 2013

lilahbean13:
Although I'm with Nell and don't fully understand what you are asking here I can relate somewhat. I love being a sahm at the moment but some days I do feel the urge to go back to work for some satisfaction other than being a mom. Whether a mom is working because she has to or because she wants to is irrelevant. I don't HAVE to work but life would be easier if I did. That being said on the days I miss work its not because of the money it's because I simply want to use my brain. So if you're asking if there are other sahm that love being with baby but sometimes miss work then yes I am one of them. I don't even know if that's what you're asking or why though!

Yes. This. I guess it got lost in translation because I didn't use the proper wording or put things in a context that might have gotten that point across, but yes. The reason: my sister is also a SAHM (of three since 2000) and her situation is that she has never been employed (aside from a couple weeks when she was young) so the concept of working for her, is not the same as it is for me. (I've been employed since I was 14) so this not going to work is a strange concept for me, as working for her would be. It's just different and she couldn't connect because she's not in a similar situation, stating that she can't miss what she never did. I get that, so she suggested I come here. Apparently my execution on the topic didn't go accordingly, though. But, your thought process is what I intended to be on point with, though I suppose I failed to explain properly.

snickersforeveryone · January 2013

I think I get what you are getting at. You love being a stay at home mom most of the time, but you loved your old job. It fulfilled you in a different way. You want to know if it's normal to sometimes miss having that old job with that kind of fulfillment.

I think it's normal. I need to go back to work because of our financial situation, so our lives differ there, but I do sometimes miss being a part of the workforce, with adult conversations, etc. when I think about actually doing it, however, it breaks my heart. I don't want someone else raising my kid.

That being said, I think I will be a lot more sane with a life outside of my home.

As far as the flames you are getting, well, your initial post was worded poorly, so I'm not surprised people took offense. But I think you are sincere in your apology, so I expect things will calm down.

RedRose87 · January 2013

I think you were looking for Stay at home moms to respond to this post. I took no offense to the topic post as I saw what you were asking. Yes as a sahm I do feel very blessed that I get to spend so much time with my LO, but I absolutely do miss the part of my life where I worked and was out in the world interacting with customers and meeting new people. I think this post was just received badly because I people's own personal nerves that got struck with the whole stay at home mom versus working mom idea. Is there any way you could maybe do something from home centered around weddings? Idk what, maybe do an at home business of wedding decorations?

bluemommy · January 2013

Im sure this UO on this thread-but I dont get why anyone is taking offense here.

I totally understand what youre saying. I dont see this as being a debate at all.

These types of flames are so not needed. This kind of rudeness makes me cringe.

OP-I love staying at home too but your right-its hard sometimes. You miss being a bit independent fron LO and having time to just interact. Im sure as our LO's get older though things will settle down. We'll get into more of a routine and be able to find time for a side hobby or whatever is needed.

megs52881 · January 2013

jfresh:
bluemommy:
Im sure this UO on this thread-but I dont get why anyone is taking offense here.

I totally understand what youre saying. I dont see this as being a debate at all.

These types of flames are so not needed. This kind of rudeness makes me cringe.

She needed to reword what she said. Maybe her point makes sense to SAHMs but the way she said it was offensive. She apologized, and I respect that, but if she truly meant her words then it is hurtful to working moms. This post makes me cringe, if you and November are entitled to your opinion then why aren't we? Half the crap you say makes me cringe.
I feel so blessed that I don't have to leave at any point to go to work and risk missing out on anything with LO. (Not to rub it in, working mommies, because I don't know how you handle doing that, honestly-I have respect for you like crazy on that!)
Here's the way I read this. I have to leave my child everyday and miss everything. She doesn't want to rub it in but she'll point out all of the amazing things she gets to do everyday that I don't get to do because I'm not a SAHM. But she respects me!

Harry Styles Queen has spoken.

Yes. The whole thing wasn't her saying she misses work no one cares. It was the first thing she said: "I don't know how you guys are OK with missing milestones" Obviously no one is. People work for money and it's not nice to remind people they may be missing a part of their child's life. It was a sucky thing to say.

bluemommy · January 2013

jfresh:
bluemommy:

Im sure this UO on this thread-but I dont get why anyone is taking offense here.

I totally understand what youre saying. I dont see this as being a debate at all.

These types of flames are so not needed. This kind of rudeness makes me cringe.

She needed to reword what she said. Maybe her point makes sense to SAHMs but the way she said it was offensive. She apologized, and I respect that, but if she truly meant her words then it is hurtful to working moms. This post makes me cringe, if you and November are entitled to your opinion then why aren't we? Half the crap you say makes me cringe.

I feel so blessed that I don't have to leave at any point to go to work and risk missing out on anything with LO. (Not to rub it in, working mommies, because I don't know how you handle doing that, honestly-I have respect for you like crazy on that!)

Here's the way I read this. I have to leave my child everyday and miss everything. She doesn't want to rub it in but she'll point out all of the amazing things she gets to do everyday that I don't get to do because I'm not a SAHM. But she respects me!

I didnt say the italicized(sp?) part.

I just dont think its necessary for any caddiness. I wasnt naming any names or singling on a certain person. Sorry I make you cringe but like you said Im entitled to my opinion too. Just stating how I feel.

Like I wrote in the rest of my post(whicImh you did not copy and paste) I understood she was weary and the monotomy of staying home. Her words in the entirity were not offensive. Could she have worded it better?-sure. But no need to be rude.

bluemommy · January 2013

jfresh:
bluemommy:
jfresh:
bluemommy:

Im sure this UO on this thread-but I dont get why anyone is taking offense here.

I totally understand what youre saying. I dont see this as being a debate at all.

These types of flames are so not needed. This kind of rudeness makes me cringe.

She needed to reword what she said. Maybe her point makes sense to SAHMs but the way she said it was offensive. She apologized, and I respect that, but if she truly meant her words then it is hurtful to working moms. This post makes me cringe, if you and November are entitled to your opinion then why aren't we? Half the crap you say makes me cringe.

I feel so blessed that I don't have to leave at any point to go to work and risk missing out on anything with LO. (Not to rub it in, working mommies, because I don't know how you handle doing that, honestly-I have respect for you like crazy on that!)

Here's the way I read this. I have to leave my child everyday and miss everything. She doesn't want to rub it in but she'll point out all of the amazing things she gets to do everyday that I don't get to do because I'm not a SAHM. But she respects me!

I didnt say the italicized(sp?) part.

I just dont think its necessary for any caddiness. I wasnt naming any names or singling on a certain person. Sorry I make you cringe but like you said Im entitled to my opinion too. Just stating how I feel.

Like I wrote in the rest of my post(whicImh you did not copy and paste) I understood she was weary and the monotomy of staying home. Her words in the entirity were not offensive. Could she have worded it better?-sure. But no need to be rude.

The italicized is what she said, I was pointing out why people were offended and saying something. I still feel that what she said was rude and she needed a reminder to be aware of what she is saying, considering many of us are working moms. That is all.

I understand what youre saying Jfresh and thats fine. I just feel like you were personally attacking me with the line "Half the crap you say makes me cringe" which was directed at me.

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