Birthparent (and others) searches

CaptainSerious · January 2013

We asked our lawyer in Peru to help us find M's first mother today.

He's so worried about her, and at one point even convinced himself that he thought she had died (because he wasn't there to take care of her). He has always wanted to make sure she's okay, and through him, we feel like she's one of our family members now, too. We want to find out where and how she is. Depending on what we find, we'll have to decide how much to share with M. If she's alive, we'll try to keep tabs on her so that if M wants to contact her in the future, we'll have relatively current information. If we can find a way to assist her (that won't end up jeopardizing her in another way) anonymously and informally, we're open to doing that as well.

But, we aren't comfortable with her knowing that we're looking for her at this point. That kind of makes me feel bad, but we are entering this very cautiously, knowing her self-destructive behaviors. I don't know if our lawyer will agree to help us (we didn't ask the head guy, but the attorney who worked directly with us on a daily basis each time we were in Peru; he may not be allowed to moonlight for all we know), and even if he would like to, I don't know if he'll be comfortable with us hiding our actions from her if we find her. But we decided to lay all our cards on the table and ask him if he will help us. Now, I'm anxiously awaiting his response.

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We also asked him to help us find the police officers who found J when he was abandoned as a baby. J was left outside overnight in a way that whoever left him was all but certain he would die. We have the names of the officers that found him and got him the help he needed (along with some other useful information). If it weren't for these two men, J would almost definitely not have survived. We are forever grateful to them and would like to let them know that their good deed and honorable actions turned into our miracle. They should be commended for what they did, and we would like them to know how they not only saved our son's life, but brought us all to such an amazing place filled with love and hope. If we can, we would like to offer them a reward. They no doubt work tirelessly for too little and we would like to pamper them just a little bit. I can't think of anyone who deserves it as much.

Dr.Loretta · January 2013

Fantastic ideas. I totally see your trepidation in finding M's first mom, that's a tricky one. And I think it would be so rewarding for the police officers to know what happened to J. Good luck in your searches!