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Baby Showers
bitsymama
member
Weird Situation... a little long
bitsymama
member
in Baby Showers
I had a baby shower planned for December 30th, but went into preterm labor the night before and ended up in the hospital for three days. After magnesium, steroids and monitoring we were allowed to go home, though I do have to be on bedrest for the time being. I am 35 wk 1 d.
My mom (who was throwing the shower with my aunt) was wonderful and called everyone that morning to tell them, so we didn't have to worry about it. However, people have gifts that they already purchased and are wondering what to do. My close friends and family have been over since I've been home to give me theirs and generally just keep me company since I'm super bored 
I'm definitely up for visitors and do feel I could "handle" a shower, though I would have to just sit the whole time, not a big deal. My question is, would it be weird to just wait and do a meet the baby party once she comes? I don't want to have the same thing happen again, and I would love to have people meet her once she's out anyway. Plus, and this is not me "gift fishing," it gives people a chance to give us the gifts they intended for the shower. I would of course not mention gifts at all when inviting people, since it is not truly a shower.
I would not throw this myself, my mom and aunt have offered to do whatever I want. Can I have a meet the baby party later, should we reschedule she shower, or should I just invite the people over individually?
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Re: Weird Situation... a little long
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Agree.
After 7 years of no ovulation...
BFP#1 10/24/11 ~ EDD 6/29/12 ~ Natural m/c 11/2/11
BFP#2 2/3/12 ~ Alice born 9/26/12
I can't see anything wrong with rescheduling your shower and holding it at your home while you're on bedrest. You're still not the hostess, of course, so you shouldn't be making the phone calls to invite people - even though you may get bored enough that those calls sound entertaining, you still shouldn't make them.
One week's notice by telephone should be suffiicient. If you think a week is too far in advance because of PTL, then I would have people over individually now and have a brunch or cook-out after baby is born.
(Returning gifts to the store is more probably trouble than dropping them at your home, at the hospital, at your mother's, or even mailing them. Those guests who have bought gifts will certainly still deliver them. Let's face it, we're all excited to see what people bought for us, and there's nothing wrong with feeling excited, as long as you don't put people in an uncomfortable position by, say, hosting your own shower or inviting the same people to multiple showers, etc. Your post doesn't make any gift-grabby alarms go off in my head, so I take no issue with your excitement!)
I think if you're up to it, rescheduling the shower would a good idea. It will break the boredom of bed rest for you, and I'm sure you're guests are worried about you and would like to see you and hear how you're doing. If you're not up for a shower, maybe you could have an "open house" day where people could drop in for a little and visit with you before the baby is here.
I personally don't love the idea of a "meet the baby," but I'm kind of leary about having lots of people/germs around a new baby-especially during cold and flu season, but I'm a little nutty.
Oh, let me add -
Since some friends and family members have already delivered their shower gifts, that makes it tricky. I didn't read carefully.
Depending on how many gifts have arrived and how close you are to those people, I might or might not feel comfortable having a rescheduled shower.
If it was just my two best friends and my sister, I'd feel comfortable knowing they wouldn't feel obligated to bring something for me to unwrap. If it was half the guest list, I'd be too worried about making them feel obligated to bring a second gift, and I would wait for baby to arrive to have a party.
Just two of my best friends and my grandma. They were coming over anyway to bring H and I food and stuff and just brought it along
Good to know! If you're that close with them, and it's just a few guests, I really can't see any harm in rescheduling if your hostesses want to do so.
Decide ahead of time what to do with the gifts you already received, and let your two friends and grandma know what you'll be doing. One suggestion: I might give them a call with a heads-up about the forthcoming invitation and tell them I've set their presents on the gift table for the party.
If you're really close, they won't be made uncomfortable by the mention of gifts on the phone. Of course, if you do think they'll be uncomfortable, you may need another plan, since talking about gifts can be tricky. With just two best friends and your grandmother, though, I am sure you can handle it.
You could have avoided this by wearing the baby. I've hosted a couple showers post-birth and the mom's did this and no one asked them to take the baby out of their little cocoon so they could him/her.
To the OP: I would try to go for a shower at your home while you are still on bedrest. Like others have said there is some bad flu and RSV going around...I work in medical and it is rampant. I don't even want to send my kids to preschool...we are taking our chances (even with them having the flu shot it's scary) and a newborn has no protection.
I think it depends on how many people are coming.
If you do a Meet the Baby Party with 20+ guests, are you going to be stressed when the baby gets passes around to every guest? Twice?
I think those parties are entirely appropriate, it all just comes down to how you feel about that.
We decided to split my shower (I didn't want my best friend potentially having 35+ RSVPs) and I think we'll do the big shower of 30 people in another two months, but do a Meet the Baby party for my mom's friends at her house (less than 10 people).