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Really??

MrsRiceARoniMrsRiceARoni member
in Parenting after a Loss

So months ago my mom asked if I wanted her to come stay with us for a week after Annabelle was born and I told her "only if you are going to be there to help". I made it very clear that I'd be busy learning to breast feed and getting the hang of being a new mother and she went on about how she'd be there to help cook and clean up and to help with Annabelle if I needed some extra sleep etc.

She just got here last night for her week long stay and I'm already wanting her to get out of my house! This morning she did hold Annabelle while I showered and emptied the dish washer.... that's all the help she's been. She has cooked herself some food, and left the dishes which I cleaned up later. She doesn't get that I don't want to go out and do things with her, umm hello my baby isn't even 2 weeks yet and the flu has hit epidemic levels in our state! Ugh. She even made a point of informing me of how helpful she was being by holding Annabelle while MH and I made dinner and proceeded to go in the other room and play with her new kindle while mh did the dishes and I fed Annabelle after we ate.

So much for her making the transition of MH working again easier ugh. What about going to stay with someone who just had a baby makes you think that sounds like a great place to go relax and expect others to do stuff for you?? Atleast MIL cooked for us and did the dishes the night we came home from the hospital, and they stayed in a hotel so we still got our privacy. *sigh* This is going to be a long week.

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Re: Really??

  • CnAnACnAnA member
    Oh that sucks. :(  I'm sorry hon.  Good luck this week!

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  • s0ulchickens0ulchicken member
    That stinks. Sorry you're having to deal with all that. Here's to hoping she "gets it" soon!
     
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  • Junebug060609Junebug060609 member
    I think she needs to be reminded of what she said she'd do.

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  • 4legsRbest4legsRbest member
    OMG - I would be losing my mind! I am so sorry she is a PITA Sad I hope the week goes by quickly!
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  • tetiananinatetiananina member
    I am so sorry. I hope she realizes she's not helping and starts helping. I hope it gets better.

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  • Auki13Auki13 member
    Ugh, that would drive me crazy.  Is there any way you can "remind" her of all the help you could use and that this isn't the time to be going out???  I hope the week goes very quickly for you!
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  • orangegogglesorangegoggles member
    Ugh that is so annoying! People don't get it at all but you would think as a mother she would have some memory of what it is like! I would remind her of the help you need, and be specific. 
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  • adoxyinherearadoxyinherear member
    Ugh, I am so sorry :( We swore off all moms staying with us those first few weeks because we were worried it would be more stress than it was worth. Really hope she gets her act together! Could you talk to her?
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  • Petunia844Petunia844 member
    I'm sorry, I totally understand... my MIL and FIL came out when Raylan was about that old and were no help at all.  They totally stressed me out and just took up the time we should have had as a family while DH was on paternity leave.  Sorry you're dealing with this too!  It will end though... and down the road visits will be much nicer when you have your own routine and don't need so much help!
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  • MrsRiceARoniMrsRiceARoni member
    Unfortunatly my mom and I don't have a great relationship to begin with and we've been on pretty rocky ground the last few months with all of the nonsense surrounding my brother and his new wife. So if I said anything I'm pretty sure it'd turn into some big explosing and I just don't have the energy for that. Its probably easier just to accept the fact that she isn't any help and do stuff for myself, but my husband was already telling me last night he doesn't know if he can handle a week of this, so we'll see how that goes.
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  • ewilliams1127ewilliams1127 member
    Ugh.  I'm so sorry!  GL and I hope this week goes quick!  Maybe wake her up for the middle of the night wakings by being right outside her room with the baby....
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  • spincat9spincat9 member
    Ugh, so sorry you are dealing with this...  Conflict or no conflict though, I am not sure I could bear a whole week of that - I would be inclined to say something.  Not emotionally, not confrontationally.  Just the facts.  And hopefully she can respect her daughter's wishes and needs right now and not make a big scene that's about her.  Because it's not about her right now.  It's about you and what you need.  Good luck mama!
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  • LoveOfMikesLifeLoveOfMikesLife member

    Ugh... I know that feeling all to well! Rocky relationship and all. Big hugs momma... 

    I ended up locking myself in my bed room "breast feeding" a lot when my mom was here. I also stopped cooking dinner for her. I would sneak food into my room when she was in the bathroom or sleeping so that if she wanted something she had to make it her self. I still had to clean up after her though, oh and she only offered to make me something in MY house, with MY groceries, once after all that. 

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