Inadequate mommy vent..

Re: Inadequate mommy vent..

• mylittlesunshine member

  January 2013

  Don't feel too bad.

  You are right in saying that babies develop at their own rate. DD1 crawled at 10 months. She didn't walk until almost 16 months. However, she is sharp as a pistol when it comes to problem solving. Just because your son isn't doing one thing, doesn't mean he is not developing in other areas. Cut yourself some slack.

  Could you get involved in some sort of class like gymboree or a baby music class or story time? Maybe something to get him around other kids his age. I am a WM, so my girls are always around other kids at daycare, but even then...DD1 was a "late bloomer" on some things.

  As far as sleep training goes, good for you for sticking with it. It is crappy when they get sick and regress, but it happens and if you go on to continue what you were doing before he was sick, he should bounce back eventually.

  "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."
  Goodbye little angel(7/22/2011)....see you in heaven
  Goodbye my second angel (9/18/2011)
  

  Report0 Reply
• Loading the player...
• khill86 member

  January 2013

  DS crawls and pulls up but I really thinks he's pretty early. And it has come at a cost. He would be awake for hours in the night practicing both. And I'll be honest, I didn't do anything to teach DS to crawl or pull up.
  
  I didn't discourage him working towards it, but I didn't push it or show him or anything. He just did it. I think it also has to do with your baby's attitude, as well. Your baby is getting there, but isn't in any rush. I wouldn't feel bad about it!! You can't force a baby to do anything! Your baby sounds perfectly in line with my friends' babies. FWIW, I think it was about a month from rocking to true cross crawling. I've read that babies that are later to crawl are sometimes more likely to walk sooner because they don't spend months being comfortable and content with crawling.
  
  Also, keep this in mind: the people you see saying that their baby did this or that super early, are probably bragging. So you're more likely to see those replies than someone whose baby is totally average or late, neither of which are bad, just different!
  
  For now, take solice in the fact that you can put your baby down without them falling on something a second later, getting into the dog's water dish, etc. You are not an inadeqaute mother!! You are doing a good job, mama!
  
  ETA: I agree with the PP, your LO is probably excelling in other areas but they aren't as easy to see as the physical ones. DS is quick physically, but hardly babbles. In fact, I very clearly see him drop some of the language skills to work on physical ones.

  

  Report0 Reply
• stanfordt04 member

  January 2013

  i think this is a total normal feeling... i sometimes feel the same way, especially because my LO just isn't a mover... he rolled over late in the game (6 months and with A LOT of motivation) and has made absolutely no attempt to even move from being on his tummy... he can play with the same toy for twenty minutes in the same position on his tummy and has no desire to move to another...

  instead of looking at the things he can't do, look at the things he can!

  Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

  Report0 Reply
• Natali25 member

  January 2013

  Thank you ladies! I guess now that I think about it, my son loves to talk and make noises and say dada and nanana even though he can't associate it with actual ppl yet. He is verbally smart. I'm a talker and I love being around ppl. However, DH is a thinker, he's an engineer. I think LO is a lot like his father too. You're right. I can't see the mental side of the development as much as the physical side. About the late crawling thing... I think it will take him less time to learn to walk then to crawl. He loves to stand and already walks with us holding his hands. He's starting to pull up on things. Guess I was just having my own pitty party...lol.
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• hoping4sticky member

  January 2013

  LalaMama81:

  What are you feeling bad about? You can't teach a baby to crawl, they do it when they are ready, same for pulling up. Neither of my kids did either until 9 months. They didn't pull up until they could crawl. Not all kids crawl, so you could be waiting for something that isn't going to happen.

  I think you are beating yourself up over nothing. You don't have to "work" with babies. You just keep doing what you are probably already doing - sing to them, talk to them, read to them, play a bit, go out and see the world. They do things on their timetable, not ours.  

  This. Crawling isn't a milestone. If you get into the comparing game you will make yourself crazy for no reason. And the bump is horrible for this - there are either some truth stretching mommies or only super advanced babies are on this board. Relax, and don't feel the need to constantly entertain your baby. He will learn a lot exploring on his own.

  Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

  Report0 Reply
• boilerup227

  January 2013

  Lurking a bit but I agree with many of the PPs.  My DS is 10.5 months and still not crawling.  I was super worried about it but have talked to both my pedi and a couple of pediatric physical therapists.  Both say that some babies just don't crawl.  Crawling was actually removed as a developmental milestone because so many babies just skip it altogether.  Also, what can your baby do that other babies can't do?  For me, I know that when we are at a playgroup with similar aged kiddos, DS is the only one not moving and it's super obvious as to where he is "behind."  However, he is also the only baby who will contentedly look at books for 15-20 minutes, identify animals/make their noises, use a perfect pincer grasp, sign "more", "all done", etc, wave bye-bye.  All babies have strengths and challenges.  He will get there in his own time.

  

  Report0 Reply
• giraffe54

  January 2013

  Natali25:

  Thank you ladies! I guess now that I think about it, my son loves to talk and make noises and say dada and nanana even though he can't associate it with actual ppl yet. He is verbally smart. I'm a talker and I love being around ppl. However, DH is a thinker, he's an engineer. I think LO is a lot like his father too. You're right. I can't see the mental side of the development as much as the physical side. About the late crawling thing... I think it will take him less time to learn to walk then to crawl. He loves to stand and already walks with us holding his hands. He's starting to pull up on things. Guess I was just having my own pitty party...lol.
  

   

  My kid is kind of the same way. Really into her fine motor and verbal skills, but could care less for the gross ones. At almost 7 months old, she has never rolled back to belly and didn't roll belly to back until 5 month (and only does it on occasion). Someone once pointed out to me that we celebrate the big ones like crawling and rolling because they are so obvious and exciting, but really, all skills are just as important. They will eventually get there. I promise you that you will not have an 18 year old you can't roll over or sit up. If your baby is happy and healthy, then you are doing a great job. I honestly believe that it sounds like it's time to start congratulating yourself instead of giving yourself such a hard time!

  Report0 Reply
• snicksnack member

  January 2013

  My dd did not fully crawl until close to 11 months, she did not pull to a stand until 13 months and walked at 17 months. She is fine and looking back I am glad because when she started to walk she just took off, I did not have to deal with a baby walking so to speak and since she did not pull to a stand until she was older she knew how to get back down (I had been standing her at her table etc.. since 10 months) so no standing in the crib crying lol

  

  Report0 Reply