When I saw my OB following my C-section I was a bawling mess. He advised me to go outside and expose myself to more sunlight. The sad feelings have not lifted so I will let the OB know at my next appointment.
My question for those of you who?ve had experience with this is: What happens after I tell my OB that I think I have a problem? Does he prescribe meds? How long do I need to be on them? Are there natural alternatives? (I hate meds). Does he refer me to a psychiatrist? If I do have to see a psychiatrist how much of my time will it take up? I have to return to work soon, and frankly I don?t want to have to sacrifice any free time I could spend with LO, seeing a psychiatrist. The thought of having to juggle it all (work, new baby, more appointments) just makes me feel more overwhelmed.
I want to make sure I?m OK. I didn?t feel like this the last time around. This time according to my husband and mother, I am overly paranoid about my baby?s well being. I also cry uncontrollably and hate myself b/c I failed at breast-feeding. I have a deep, visceral reaction every time I give LO a bottle.
At other times I just feel very sad in general. This feeling is accompanied by guilt b/c I know I should be happy. Sometimes I feel angry at DH even though he?s been so supportive. I feel guilty about that too but I just can?t stop the way I?m feeling no matter how hard I try to convince myself that I"m being irrational. I have no control over my emotions and this scares me.
I want to enjoy having a baby like I did the last time around. But this time I feel like the days are slipping away from me and all I feel is sadness. (I?m crying as I write this BTW. Help).