was about to post a vent on the Dec. board, but decided this was a better place..
pregokat
member
I'm "due" in 4 days... & I understand, the very end of the pregnancy isn't that much fun.. There is all these weird body functions happening, pains, cramps, contractions that start then stop.. No sleep, etc..
Its no fun!
But I've been joining the December 2012 board, & it is driving me absolutely nuts that so many of these moms are allowing inductions & scheduling c-sections... I don't think I've seen a story on there where it happened 'naturally'... everything is scheduled
With barely any reasoning at all! Do they not trust their bodies.. and trust nature to decide when its time.. ?
Yes- I'm tired, I'm bored, I'm ready for this baby to come, I'm getting irritable with everyone asking about the baby, etc... But I'm going to wait till him & my body decide they are ready! idk if this is selfish of me or what but its making it that much more irritating lol
Not to mention the fact that Christmas is next week & I'm assuming that most doctors are trying to control as much as they can so that they can not be bothered on the holiday...
I'm wondering if there are going to be a lot of moms with children who have lung problems, developmental issues or health issues in the future & its because they made their children come too soon...
Thanks for allowing me to vent! I am hoping I will get more understanding responses on this board than the other one...
Re: was about to post a vent on the Dec. board, but decided this was a better place..
I'm due 12/31 and I feel the exact same way as you about the majority of women posting on that board. It's been driving me crazy. I can't stand the "I trust my doctor" stuff when they are clearly scheduling around their holiday plans and admit it! I gave up reading the birth stories because they're never encouraging to me. I'll just read the ones posted here instead.
I'm glad to see that there are other Dec '12 mamas that just aren't as vocal in posting about their natural birth plans.
Huh, maybe, but somehow I doubt those who are scheduling c-sections and inductions around theirs and Dr's holiday plans are interested in the Natural Birth board.
I agree with OP.
I was reading a post on another board about how inductions went and just kept wanting to scream that so many of them didn't sound very necessary. Lots of "we induce at 40 weeks exactly" going on. I can't imagine submitting to that level of care.
But yes, it's my right to expect more. Thank God.
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But I don't think it's just doctors. I think moms want to plan around the holiday too. I have several friends who have done that in the past. I even had one that planned her c/s so she wouldn't be in labor during the OSU/Michigan game (we live in Ohio and this is big for some people).
Different strokes for different folks, I guess. Just be confident in your decision to wait for you baby to be ready. I know how hard it is when you want to meet your baby so badly and everyone around you is getting to see theirs. If it makes you feel better, I almost induced with my DS2 that I went nearly a week overdue with. I was so glad I didn't because his labor and delivery was nearly perfect - quick and easy. Your patience may pay off like that
Good luck!
Fellow Dec mama here. If these girls are making informed decisions and that is what they decide is best then I support them. What I worry about is, I think a lot of mamas are not given all the facts about inductions and/or c-sections, not to mention all the development that still continues to take place in the final weeks. Baby is practicing breathing, sucking and who knows what else we might not know about. DD is two and it breaks my heart to think we might be in the hospital for Christmas, but I'm not about to push this baby to come early just so we can be home with her.
I just wish more doctors gave a better picture of the risks/benefits and more women were empowered to do their own research. PP mentioned women saying, "But I trust my doctor" and that just makes my skin crawl. There was a girl who talked about her doctor stripping her membranes with her first and second without asking, and she was totally fine with it because she trusted her doctor. I'm actually mad for the girl, that is just awful!
DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012
TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!
I lurk the Dec. board and post occasionally, and there absolutely have been many posts about c/s and inductions for medical reasons. However, there have also been quite a few posts where Dr's are suggesting induction even prior to 41 weeks for what seems like no more than just not wanting to work on Christmas, and perhaps moms being willing to go along with that because they also don't want to be in hospital this time of year. I think its definitely a unique issue that comes with being due at this time of year. How often do you hear induction being pushed earlier in say April or August. But Christmas? No one wants to be in the hospital at Christmas time.
Being someone who could very well be in labor on Christmas eve or day, it's certainly something I'm hoping doesn't happen, but I am prepared that it could be a reality. My doctor has joked asking me not to have the baby Christmas morning (she too is a mother to two young kids), and I laughed saying I'd do my best to hold him in, but if she were to have attempted to convince me to be induced on my due date (Dec. 22) there is no possible way I would go with that. Baby will come when he's ready, and even though I'm ready now and would like him to vacate my body, I believe this is meant to be a natural process. If he comes on Christmas morning, he comes on Christmas morning, and my doctor will just have to deal with that.
Thank you everyone for the kind words.
I understand those who don't necessarily agree with me & thankful that those of you who implied what I said would cause drama and be bad were seemingly wrong- It doesn't seem like too many people were upset about it.
Different opinions, thats all
I volunteer 1 day a week in my ob office- doing paperwork & stuff, we have 4 doctors in our practice & I hear a lot of them scheduling inductions, & C-sections. my last 3 visits, the Dr has asked me if I wanted them to "kick start this process" or anything... Each time my answer, is "no thanks" this week, I kinda knew he'd be asking again & my reply was "I am really trying to trust my body and my baby to decide when the best timing is, so I'm just going to try to be patient" and he even said "thats great, that is a really good idea to let him come when he's ready" then let me be! So we scheduled my next visit, It'll be after christmas this time, I'll be 40 1/2 wks along... Once again the dr is saying "you won't make it to this next visit" lol I think my son has another idea because there are STILL no big signs...
I was 100% effaced, 2 cm dilated, and baby is at 0 station- but contractions aren't close or consistent & he is still moving around, kicking and punching like a little boxer... We'll see what happens..
Good luck to all you other mamas trying to have a natural birth process
This. I will never understand why one woman cares so much about/how another woman chooses to give birth.
It definitely doesn't make you selfish for waiting (I commend you for doing so!) but this post makes you sound very arrogant and judgmental.
Yes--this exactly. I totally agree in the "different strokes" mindset, but it drives me crazy how often I've seen friends of mine IRL have poor birth experiences--unwanted c/s, inductions that didn't take, that kind of thing--because they didn't understand the risks of the interventions they chose. My sister saw no issues in an induction at 40 weeks and her doc didn't share any of the issues than can arise (I know this because we talked afterward)--she narrowly avoided a c/s for failure to progress but had a traumatic labor. Another friend ended up with a c/s under the same circumstances. These aren't dumb women, but they didn't have the information to make an informed choice. They were just told, "Hey, we can induce at 40 weeks if you want." And what mom doesn't want to meet her LO ASAP?
Women are able to medically induce themselves now? Is that safe?
Seriously, though, if women aren't given true informed consent (not telling someone full risks and benefits of any procedure), then it's not their fault for choosing induction/ECS. A doctor should know enough to say "no" if a woman asks to be induced out of convenience, they're the ones with the medical degree.
Not to mention, if you have a care provider (who you are supposed to trust) saying you need to induce, it's incredibly hard to say no. Let's not blame women on this one.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
What if the woman doesn't have access to the internet to do research into labor and birth? What if she doesn't know where to begin with researching birth? What if she just doesn't want to? I don't think wanting to have trustworthy care providers is too much to ask for.
When I was pregnant with my first son, I did everything "right". I hired a doula, took all the classes, read the books, found a practice with a low cs rate, and I still ended up w a cs for somewhat sketchy reasons. Not to mention that I was also pressured, by a MW who I totally trusted, to induce for no reason than for being overdue. If that can happen to someone who does know her rights and has done research, why are we sitting around blaming women who don't for their inductions and c/s?The system has a lot more to do with how one's birth ends up than people in this thread are willing to admit.This post sums up my feelings on this topic: https://birthingbeautifulideas.com/?p=5327
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
No response to the drama in the post- but just wanted to say I am also a December 2012 due date with this baby and I am trying to patiently and peacefully await her arrival on her terms. There are definitely some of us over there!
I will say though that a lot of the posts I've seen have mentioned high blood pressure, low fluid, etc. which are significant medical concerns that if significant enough definitely warrant an induction- even though I'm not typically for inductions.
I think the reason we care so much about how others have their babies is because we've done the research and a lot of other women haven't. I'm not saying all women having an epi, getting induced or having a c-section are uniformed, I'm just saying a good majority of them are. They trust their doctors blindly and don't do any research themselves. Our society is more concerned about checking the reviews on a baby car seat then researching about our own bodies. I think that's why we have a lot of STM+ mom's on this board. The first birth didn't go so well so they researched for the second and realized they didn't know anything about the birthing process except what their doctors and friends told them. When I was pregnant the first time I had a friend who didn't get induced and she went almost 42 weeks. I didn't understand why she waited. Then I started my Bradley class and understood exactly why she waited (she had taken a Bradley class too). Education changed my perspective. That is why we get upset with how other's birth.
OP, good for you for knowing your body and not being pushed into doing anything you aren't comfortable with.
To each their own.
But as a December 2012 mama who had a wonderful home birth experience with a little boy who came all on his own at 40+3...there are plenty of us not scheduling our babies births, and I don't like to be judged for my choosing home birth - which was absolutely the BEST decision for me and my family - so I really do try not to judge someone else's decision to give birth when and where and how they believe is best for their family.
With that all said, I wish you lots of luck with your birth plans. I've had two natural births, and they were the two greatest and most empowering experiences of my life. I wouldn't change a thing about either of them. You're in for a wonderful treat with the birth of your LO, whenever he/she arrives.
Stef- did you share your birth story? I'd love to hear it!
Wow, I didn't realize my statements would have such an effect.
Anyways- In my experience, since I've been pregnant, I've had 5 friends give birth, all of them induced then turned into emergency c-sections- One of them where the dr made a cut into the placenta wrong causing the baby to loose blood, need a transfusion, and spend his first 4 days in NICU... her membranes were swept at 38 weeks, her and her Dr. were both agreed they would try to 'get him here' before thanksgiving. She ended up having a horrible birth experience, almost loosing her baby, and she lost a lot of blood as well, on top of having a T cut in her uterus, then getting an antibiotic resistant infection from the surgery, & loosing her milk from all of the heavy medications... She might not be able to carry another child now... That's a really scary experience to watch unfold as a pregnant mom expecting within the next month- She now admits to being impatient & allowing her Dr to suggest the induction so early-
then there are the other induction/emergency c-sections my friends went through... I really dont want to experience anything they did
thanks ladies for be so understanding
Yep. I don't consider this passive aggressive, just sounds like OP realized she may not get great feedback based on a lack of similar views... and hey, sometimes you've got to vent about TB and get support, that would be hard to do on the board you are venting about! Stay strong OP!
For anyone who may be interested, my husband did some reason on induction for low AFI and found it a "sketchy" reason for induction/c/s. I'd just advise to do research before agreeing to an early/induced delivery due to low fluid without other concerns.
Ummm...all of this? Seriously...
Chemical Pregnancy
I'm a December 2012 mama but I turned into a November mama at the last second! I had my daughter all natural without any drugs or intervention! Even after being offered pain meds, epi, and the breaking of my water, I was able to say NO THANKS and do everything naturally! I'm so proud of myself and I am currently exclusively breastfeeding my daughter.
That being said, the lack of knowledge on both natural birth and breastfeeding is sickening. I don't feel that I'm doing what's "best" for my baby, I'm doing what's NORMAL! And I almost always get the response of "Oh wow, why on earth did you not take the drugs??" and "So how long do you think the breastfeeding will last, realistically??" Its so annoying!!
1. Complaining about one board to another board never goes over well.
2. Your wording makes you seem like you have a really crappy attitude and think that you are superior.
3. As long as the mother is full term, there is no reason to be a total b!tch about her choosing to be induced. Get off your high horse and respect other people's decisions. It's their decision, not yours. They don't have to explain themselves.
4. Having a natural birth is an amazing thing. I respect everyone who goes this path, but I don't respect you for being rude and condescending to mothers who are induced or have to have a c-section.
You had to have realized that this would get back to the December mama's...
I don't usually participate in hurtful posts like this, but considering I am probably one of the moms you are talking about, I have to admit that I have taken this a bit personally (which I realize is stupid because this is an internet board) and feel like I want to say my piece.
You may think that many of the mothers choosing to allow an induction are uninformed or doing so for convenience, but I beg to differ. I doubt you would stick to your guns when a specialist has told you, multiple times, that inducing at 39 weeks is the absolute safest option for your baby and by doing so you were helping "prevent stillbirth". Because, frankly, I don't really care how my daughter was brought into the world, my DH and I just wanted her here!
I feel like I was a very informed pregnant lady, especially for a FTM. I knew that with my Gestational Diabetes I would be at risk of an induction and other complications. I was diagnosed at 15 weeks and put on Glybruide shortly after. With the nightly medicine and watching my diet, I did everything I could to keep my sugars low and my body healthy, but the risk of placenta insufficiency was still there and the decision was very thoughtfully and prayferfully made by me, my Midwife and the PNP to induce me at 39 weeks. Sure, I did know that there is research that shows that inductions are not necessary if a mother has had good sugar control for most of her pregnancy, but when I spoke with the PNP about this, he strongly recommended against waiting longer than 39 weeks because the risk is bigger than not. I was upset but focused on the end game: getting my baby out alive and well.
I just don't understand how any mom would be able to look at her doctor in the eyes, and say "I realize you are trying to help me have a healthy baby, but I am going to do my own thing" if the risks are really there. Obviously, scheduling c-sections for convenience sake is different, but most of the December mamas have had a medical reason. How would you be able to live with the guilt if something bad actually happened and you knew it was because you chose to not follow the advice of the medical professional you chose to trust in the first place?
I don't typically allow fear to motivate my decisions, but isn't fear part of what drives wanting to have a completely natural course as well? Obviously, our bodies should know what they are doing and should be able to birth healthy babies in it's own time, but when the natural course isn't working out well, I am so thankful we have options for that as well.
My DH and I were very sad we were going to have to have an induction, but instead of dwelling on the disappointment, we chose to look at it as "we get to meet our baby soon!" and focused only on getting her here safely.
All that to say, that even the best laid plans don't work out because I ended up not needing an induction. I went into labor, out of the blue, at home six hours before we needed to call the hospital for our check in time for our induction. I was able to have the completely natural birth I had hoped for, complete with telling my husband "I think I"m in labor!" and him excitedly/anxiously packing the car and taking care of last minute details. The entire experience was absolutely beautiful and I think very much in part because I let go of any expectations I had of birth and just tried to accept that my girl would get here however she needed to. I am super thankful that she decided to come naturally, in 12 short hours on her 39th week birthday.
Sometimes things don't go the way we want them to, but often they do go just exactly how they are supposed to, and we can either focus on getting things the way we want them, or the way they are supposed to be.
Perhaps you missed my post back in November when I went into labor all on my own at 37wk1d and I had a completely unmedicated, natural birth.
Want to know what my vent is? People who say crap like "they do not trust their bodies and trust nature to decide when it's time." I've experienced infertility where my body didn't work the way it was supposed to. I've also experienced two miscarriages where my body didn't work the way it was supposed to. I've also had four children, all prior to when know it alls such as yourself would say I was full term and I was only induced with one of them and that time I was induced because my son had an extremely high heart rate but I suppose it would have been better to risk having him die than to induce. So, I ask you, did I just not trust my body enough?
If our bodies always worked the way they should and if we could just trust them to do everything right there wouldn't be any infertility, or miscarriages or prematures birth or late term losses, not to mention non-baby related things such as cancer. I pray you never have to question your own body by experiencing any of these things.
And, just so know, no, none of my children have lung problems, developmental issues or health issues but thanks so much for wondering.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
This!! I couldnt agree more!
I applaude you! Couldn't have put it better myself, as a mom who was also induced for GD (and a 2 vessel cord).
BFP #1 12/02/11, M/C 12/08/11
BFP #2 04/06/12, DD born 12/20/12
BFP #3 06/09/14, M/C 06/15/14