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Wedding invite etiquette ?
I am putting it on here because I know a lot of you ladies are big on etiquette (baby shower or not)!
So my husband's cousin is getting married today. We weren't able to make it because there was less than a week's notice.
My question is, do you think it's rude to invite people to your wedding when it is less than a week away and put your registry info on the invite? (FWIW it was not technically an invite; it was a facebook invite)
I personally think it was pretty tacky of them to do that, let alone do it on facebook.
ETA: different wording, etc.
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Re: Wedding invite etiquette ?
Big picture - yes. But is there something to this that we don't know? Was EVERYONE invited a week out - as in this was a quickly put together wedding? I'd hate to think the "trend" is moving towards FB being used for wedding invitations, but at the same time - if this is a quickie wedding, I'm not as judgey about the method.
But if this is "oh- we have more declines than expected, so let's reach out to people we b-listed", then I AM more judgey about it.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I would think it is rude on many levels.
One thing I would wonder as an annoyed guest (annoyed because I didn't get more notice) would be:
*if they had enough time to register - why didn't they have enough time to notify guests earlier!*
Not to mention, only one week notice (!) a *facebook* invite (!)
including the registry info is not at the top of the list of rudeness!
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
Expecting Baby Bean February 2017
What was the circumstances OP?
Well there were about 500 people invited through facebook...I am assuming most of their friends knew, but everyone near and far was invited through facebook (they live in UT, we live in ID). They got engaged, then they created the invitation that night or the next day it seemed...
As for if most of them were b-listed, I'm sure that was not the case. I personally think she's pregnant because this seemed like something they wouldn't do for no reason or just out of the blue....
My husband is saying that if we had been sent a paper invite, we wouldn't have gotten it until after the wedding...well that's why you don't get married after a week of being engaged right?
I'm honestly not sure what to think since there seems to be some kind of secret they are keeping...
I used to work at a store that helped couples make custom DIY wedding invitations so I learned a lot about invitation etiquette (which came in handy because I was engaged while I worked there!). anyway, rule #1 was do NOT put registry info. on an invitation, no matter how casual the wedding. It IS ok on a shower invitation though. and I would say that inviting people to a wedding through FB is super tacky. Less than a week? wow. with 500+ people? If she were pregnant, they should have done a small court wedding then if they wanted a big celebration after baby was born they could have invited everyone then.
I don't know if she's pregnant, but it certainly is starting to look that way. But I completely agree with the court wedding and a reception later (if she is).
There is no way you can throw together an event for 500 guests at the last minute it sounds like an obvious gift grab and I wouldn't go or send a gift.
Who are you to say where they should get married, and why are you seeking validating answers as to whether it's tacky or not? Don't go if you don't want to/unable to. It's that easy.
*Coming out of lurking* I think the facebook invite is tacky, but I think you are kind of being a total twatwaffle about it. You seem to be way to concerned that they are pregnant before they get married. Who cares?
How do they have a registry if they got married in 1 week? If they decided to get married in 1 week and invited people on Fb (as a quick means of getting the info out) then I wouldn't think that was a big deal. For the fact that they had a registry and included it in the "invite" then yes wayyyyy tacky. You never include a registry on a wedding invite. actually, I have read on etiquette sites that people do not even have to give a gift at a wedding.
My friend got engage Christmas eve and got married New Years eve. They called us to invite us to the church and to dinner after. Nothing about a registry or gifts or anything like that. They wanted to get married right away and wanted to include certain people in their special day even though it was last minute. Not tacky at all. If they invited us and said that they were going to register at Macys that would be tacky.
This is what they should have done; invited a few close friends and family members. I was so annoyed at the whole thing I didn't even respond. I just congratulated the cousin on getting engaged before I saw the invite.
That is a good point. Andplusalos, if it was a nice wedding then how would they be able to give their caterers the correct number?
If this was a nice classy wedding then this was tacky on many levels.
DH and I were only engaged for 5 days. But then we didn't try to invite 500 people either. There were 14 people there including me and DH.
Anyhow, I think that it's rude to use FB and to use it to invite so many people only a week out is so far past rude that it's stupid. I wonder how many people actually showed up.
I think they tried to make it as classy as they could.
As for the food though, I saw pictures, and it looked like it was Costco food. His mom made the cake and his brother (who is a chef) made a fancy watermelon...
Oh the horror! Costco food!
Seriously, why on earth do you care about this? It's icky that you feel the need to put these people down. Yes, there is a tacky way and a nice way to do everything, but where you buy your food has nothing to do with it. I really respect people who set a budget and stick to it for their wedding.
That said, FB invites to 500 people is the only icky thing I see here other than the OP's weird judge-y-ness. Etiquette is about making others feel comfortable and included, and nothing says you are not special to us like knowing the only trouble the bride went to was pressing "send to all". In this case, if I were the bride, I'd compile a list of however many I actually had room to host (even if it was just for "costco food"), and then call each guest with a personal invitation. I would make each call myself and not let MIL or my own mother help.
But clearly, doing-unto-others does not run in this family.
I wasn't putting down the Costco food. I was just mentioning that it wasn't catered so it was actually less tacky. Get a grip.
I think her weird judge-y-ness goes way back. OP, I remember you from the tri-boards and all the crap you posted about your SIL's sex life. And now here you are slamming this couple for their wedding food and the fact that they may be *gasp* pregnant. Yeah, we get it, the invitation is tacky, but you are way tackier. Get over yourself.
I'm not slamming them for their food, nor the fact that they might be pregnant. I'm slamming them for making it seem like they "needed" to get married in a jiffy and inviting people in an annoyingly rude way. Also, do you have nothing better to do than to keep track of what I post about? That's pretty weird.
I probably wouldn't have remembered you if you weren't so weirdly judgmental about them being pregnant or "having a secret." It was just so...awkward. It jogged my memory that you were off the wall weird on the tri boards too. I haven't posted here in months.