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3rd Trimester
kxp004
member
what are you doing with #1?
kxp004
member
DS is going to stay with my mom but we haven't figured out how long he will be staying with her... however I'm concerned because my two younger siblings (14 yrs old) are super needy and might make things difficult... DH is taking a week off so I think we can manage both pretty soon but what do y'all think? what are you doing with your first LO? plus I'm not sure how long we will want to be separated from DS... usually he's always with us or I guess always with me since DH works... I guess I feel a little separation anxiety lol
ETA: I'm at a birth center so we go home 6 hours after delivery and DH is my birth coach since I'm going natural again... don't know if that would change any suggestions
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Re: what are you doing with #1?
I honestly have no idea. Our family all lives in the area, so I'm not too worried. My mom offered to come stay at our house with him when I go into labor, but I will probably have her take him to their house so I can labor at home for awhile. My sister and her DH live next door to my parents, so it's nice to know they will all watch over him and he can play with his cousin. Or we might call my BIL and SIL who live closer to take him overnight. After I have the baby, DH will probably stay overnight one night in the hospital if I have him later in the day and then go home to take care of DS the rest of my stay. If I have the baby in the morning, I'd just rather DH go take care of DS and not stay overnight at all. The nurses are all there to be helpful and DH wasn't a big help at night with DS anyhow.
If I need him, I can always call him to come back and inconvenience everyone; they would understand. Or I could always have DH stay with DS and have my mom stay at the hospital overnight with me. She would probably die for that experience anyhow...she was quite intrusive with the first kid, might as well give her a job this time!
We have no family in the area. They are all 18+ hour drive away. We have 2 plans, depending on when this happens. Fortunately we have daycare available 6:30-6:30 M-F, so we have "business hours" taken care of. For "after hours" and weekends we have 2 options.
1) DD will go to a friend of mine who has a DD about a year younger than her and have "a sleepover". The problem is this friend is a working mom and her hours are sometimes long (working until 8pm some days) and she may not be able to take DD in the middle of the night or on an evening she works. Plus she is going through a divorce right now, so that sort of complicates things a bit.
2) This one I am more likely to use-DD's daycare teacher is willing to have her over. She has a son that is a year older than DD, but since DD knows her well and she has off the same hours that we don't have childcare through daycare this will likely be who we use. So very likely unless I am *sure* that my friend is available I think DD will go to her teacher's house for my delivery.
Because of our limited options DH will go get DD pretty much as soon as I deliver/rest/we bond a bit. He will bring DD to the hospital as soon as we (he, baby and I) are comfortable and then will take her home and stay with her. If I deliver in the middle of the week she will go to daycare as usual the next day and DH will probably go to work for a few hours (although I'm not completely sure of this). I plan on being alone in the hospital for much of my stay with only visits from DH and DD, and will just try to get home ASAP. As much as it pains me to say this because I'm such a planner, a lot of it we are just going to have to make up as we go.
It depends on whether I am scheduled to be induced or if labor occurs naturally, but, tentatively, DS will stay at my mom's while we are in the hospital with the new baby. So many variables at this point though!
If it's during the day, all the Grandmas are authorized to pick DS up from daycare, and they all know that they are "on-call." Right now, the plan is that my step mom will be picking him up, if need be, as she works from home and my mom will be with me in L&D anyway. My step mom will then bring him back to their house to stay for the duration of the time that FI and I are in the hospital with LO. (If LO is actually born during the day/appropriate time, my step mom will bring DS to the hospital to see us for a little bit)
If it's in the middle of the night, the aforementioned Grandmas will be coming to the house to stay while DS sleeps and then the plan mentioned above will go into affect the following morning.
I feel the separation anxiety already, too. I have never been away from DS for more than a night.
That is kind of where we are at too. I'm sorry that you don't have family close by to make a concrete plan :- That really sucks.
Just saw the ETA-if you are going home hours after delivery what is the problem? Why couldn't DS come home to be with you that day? (Depending of course on what time of day you deliver/how much rest you get) If you have family around, maybe they could just plan on either coming by to play with him frequently or even take him out for a few hours a day to give you a break. I don't think I understand the need for him to be staying with someone else for several days if that is what you are asking....
sorry for being unclear...it was my mom who suggested he stay with them during my labor and then a couple days after we go home so that we can get settled and whatnot since she can't come to our house to help during that first week because she had to also watch my siblings... whereas most women stay a night or two in the hospital and have help from the staff, I would just have DH... did that clear anything up or did I just make it worse?? lol