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Blended Families
sabrina69barnes
member
Let's say SK's are with BF and according to the CO it's his parenting time. He has made vacation plans that can't be changed. One of BM's family members dies and the funeral will be during this vacation/ BF's parenting time. SK's knew this family member but weren't close with them. BM was very close with the family member and wants the kids to attend the funeral with her. The CO says nothing about funerals. BF refuses to allow BM to take the kids and takes them on his vacation. Are there any legal/ custody repercussions BF could face?
I'm asking because there is a possibility this scenario could come up for us when we plan to take the kids to Disney this summer.
hypothetical funeral question
sabrina69barnes
member
Let's say SK's are with BF and according to the CO it's his parenting time. He has made vacation plans that can't be changed. One of BM's family members dies and the funeral will be during this vacation/ BF's parenting time. SK's knew this family member but weren't close with them. BM was very close with the family member and wants the kids to attend the funeral with her. The CO says nothing about funerals. BF refuses to allow BM to take the kids and takes them on his vacation. Are there any legal/ custody repercussions BF could face?
I'm asking because there is a possibility this scenario could come up for us when we plan to take the kids to Disney this summer.
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Re: hypothetical funeral question
It would be selfish but it's how BM thinks. Her brother is very sick and from what we understand everyone is surprised he's held on this long.
We've planned every detail of the trip and it's paid for. I keep trying to think about anything that could come up that would keep this from happening. I know it sounds bad to be worried about someone's potential death ruining my vacation. In my defense her brother is a child molester and not a nice person.
She witheld the kids once a few years ago. It was expensive for her and the judge warned that if would be much worse if she ever did it again so I'm not worried about that.
We didn't. When I looked into what exactly it covered it wouldn't have been helpful.
She wont see him. There is a lot of drama and selfishness between the two of them. It's a long story but BM wont see him when he is still alive but will make sure his death is all about her.
BM doesn't know about our trip at all and neither do the kids. We want to surprise the kids with the trip. Not only will BM probably not keep the secret it's also very likely she would try to prevent them from going if she could. She made false child abuse allegations to try to prevent the kids from being at our wedding. If BM were a normal person we would go about this differently but she isn't.
If it happens, throw the ball back in her court. She wants the kids there? Okay, she can book the roundtrip airfare to get the kids to the funeral and back to Disney.
I am not a personal fan of children being at funerals. I think it's unnecessary. The exceptions being if it is a direct family member (i.e. - parents/sibling/grandparents and POSSIBLY an aunt or uncle if they are close). I wouldn't think it appropriate for them to attend if the children do not know this person well enough to be devastated at them missing it. I forget how old SK's are?
If this does happen, and BM insists, and your H wants to oblige, I would insist on her paying the cancellation fees for the SK's portion of the trip. All of it. Before you actually cancel, and before you actually send them back for this funeral. It all must be paid in full. Every single cent before you do anything. If not... I wouldn't. And no, I don't think there is anything she can do legally. However, this is my 'common sense but don't really know anything about the law' opinion.
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
If the brother is a registered child sex offender do you not have some sort of order ensuring that the kids cannot be around him?
I know that is probably a moot point if he is dead BUT still thats enough for me t say take the kids to Disney!!!
OMG, I missed that part ! I would not have suggested having the kids visit.
He isn't registered. He is around 40 now and this happened when he was in his late teens but still an adult. The girls were family members and it was never reported. They are adults now and don't want to make an issue of it now.
If funerals weren't specifically included, then I can't see how a funeral could change the standing CO.
Also, you might want to talk to your lawyer. If he thinks it could be a problem, maybe you could file to amend the CO before the trip?
am i reading your siggy correct that your SK's are under 10 years old? no way should they be at a funeral. (that is purely my opinion)
that being said, the funeral isn't addressed in the CO, it is your parenting time etc, I say go for it. the only hang up might be if she has to "sign off" on the trip, she may not....
Hmmm Holly makes a great point. Will you need her permission to takle them out of State?
You might want to try to get that before the brother actually dies.