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November 2011 Moms
New-ish mama needs advice on NCSS
Hi mamas,
I'm tired. My 13-mo-old DD doesn't like to go to sleep. We never intended to be a co-sleeping family but we got bedbugs and had to throw out our co-sleeper crib, and that was the beginning of the end. I actually like co-sleeping, but for various reasons we have decided to start transitioning to a crib, now that we are in a new apartment with no bedbugs and can start to live like normal human beings, you know, with furniture and stuff. CIO is not right for us. We recently started on Pantley's No-Cry Sleep Solution for toddlers and the crib transition is going well, but I'm having a tough time with the Gentle Removal Plan. Simply put, it just doesn't work. At least not yet. It takes dozens and dozens of tries and she gets upset when I remove the breast, and she falls asleep at the breast, and then half the time she wakes up and half the time she stays asleep when I put her in the crib. And she still only sleeps for 2-3 hours at a stretch.
Should I try to night-wean her by having DH get up in the night instead of getting up myself to nurse? Is she continuing to wake up because she knows she's going to get milk? The thing is, if he gets up with her, he gives up too quickly and she ends up playing and being wide awake because he doesn't really try to get her back to sleep. He just sort of lays on the bed with her while she plays or puts her in the Ergo and walks around and plays on the computer.
Any suggestions from moms who have tried NCSS? The biggest issue right now is the frequent awakenings and the trouble we have getting her back to sleep. Here's our basic schedule, if it helps:
7:30 bath
7:45 massage, diaper & pjs
storytime
8pm lights out, nurse in rocker. When she gets sleepy, I begin the PPO. Once fully asleep, I put her in crib and usually she is asleep by 8:30-9.
One hour later, she's up. Repeat above.
Half hour later, she's up. Lather, rinse, repeat. Usually wakes at midnight, 2-3, and 5-6 at minimum. Would sleep til 9 if we let her.
We're trying to move up the bedtime but DH lets her nap late (5-6) before I get home from work, so that isn't going so well.
Sorry this is so long... I'm tired and not editing well. TIA for your advice!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: New-ish mama needs advice on NCSS
Aww this sounds stressful! I have not used the NCSS method, but my DS was a frequent night waker for nursing. I don't know what your plan is for continuing to BF, but once we started with more table foods and WCM he started sleeping longer stretches in the night. I also grew to just comfort rock him instead of always offering the breast.
GL! I know I didn't really answer your dire questions, but I hope sharing my experience helps.
What does her dinner/evening eating schedule look like? I'm thinking that she should be eating between 5-6 and not sleeping. If my DD sleeps at all past about 3:30, then she has a hard time falling asleep and frequently wakes. You said DH lets her nap... is she tired? What are her earlier naps like? When she wakes at night, is she eating or just comfort nursing? If she's eating, then I'd try offering more food and/or milk during the day and especially at dinnertime.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. I know it's tough when your LO doesn't sleep well. I hope you get some relief soon!
She eats between 6-7 most nights. Sometimes later. DH is not great with the naps -- generally she naps around 11 and 3, but it's less consistent when she's with him. The sitter will be back next week, TG, and she will get her on a more consistent nap & eating schedule.
I don't want to keep putting this on DH, but he doesn't feed her enough. He doesn't like when she makes a mess so he feeds her and doesn't let her feed herself, and so she doesn't eat as much as she would if she were allowed to self-regulate. So yeah, I think she is probably hungry. When I get home from work she nurses me empty and then has dinner. When I put her down, I nurse her again and pull her off when she's done and starts the fluttering stage with long pauses between. If she fusses I let her latch back on. I sing to her, she falls asleep, I put her down. An hour later (or less), she wakes up. I have no idea what's waking her.
Ill try getting DH to feed her more throughout the day. And we will keep working on the naps.
Thank you both for your support!
What your DH is doing would drive me up the wall and I would have to put a stop to it. Babies live for schedules! I would push DH to feed her more and to let her get messy. No offense, but it seems like maybe he just doesn't want to have to clean up the mess (which is my DH). You could also promote snacks. DS loves nutra grain bars and dry (unsweetened) cereal.