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Toddlers: 24 Months+
Need advice re: very willful child at naptime
My son has been having issues napping lately. I'd say it probably started after my DD was born - so I understand why. What I can't figure out is how to get these problems to stop.
At naptime my DS does not want to go to sleep. Obviously, many kids would rather play, but I know he still needs the sleep. We tried taking out the naps for a couple of days and it made no difference at bedtime. He sleeps about 8 - 5 or 5:30am. Without a nap it was the same and with a nap he consistently sleeps about 2 hours.
So - he plays, jumps on his bed. I tell him it's naptime; he says no. I tend to the baby and he'll run out of the room. I know a lot of the behaviors are attention seeking but how should I handle them? I tried putting up the baby gate and just ignoring him. Occasionally it will work and he'll eventually get in bed & sleep his 2 hours. However, sometimes he'll just sit there and read books or call out from his room (waking the baby in the meantime). I know quiet time isn't the end of the world, but I'd prefer a nap.
Lately, I've resorted to staying with him and rubbing his back/singing songs. However that takes a good bit of time, too which leaves me feeling angry and frustrated.
Can anyone offer any advice? Thanks so much.
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Re: Need advice re: very willful child at naptime
We went through that phase when DD was transitioning from taking a nap to just doing quiet time. She now does 2 hours of quiet time while her brother is sleeping... she has to stay in her room and has no toys with batteries during that time. It's taken some time to get to there but she's done really well. She still will fall asleep every now and then. It was at that time that I started putting her to bed earlier - she now sleeps from 7:15 - 7:15.
why do you think he still needs a nap? If he isn't too cranky at 8 I'd just drop it. Our dr told me most kids are done with naps by 3. I never have any luck getting DD to nap, on days I know she really needs it we go for a ride and I carry her in sleeping.
DD started really really fighting them just before 2 1/2, I started by staying with her until she fell asleep, when she fought that I'd put the baby gate in her door, she loved that, she'd climb over it and sometimes even asked me to put it up.
Willful... Eh. The kid doesn't want to do exactly what you want him to do when you want him to. You can't make him sleep. No matter how much you want someone to sleep, short of drugging them, you can't make them sleep. Kids are no different, whether they need a nap or not.
If the problem is that he's coming out of his room, fix that discipline problem. (Keep putting him back in, baby gate (or two, stacked) at the door, locked door, whatever you feel is appropriate.)
If the problem is that he's making too much noise, fix that discipline problem. Time outs? Take away toys? Put in another room? I'm not sure what works for you here.
But I would encourage you to stop getting upset for the choices you are making with your own time (rubbing his back and singing songs). Oh, I understand! I have a horrible sleeper and there have been nights where I'm "stuck" in bed with her for hours as I wait for her to go to sleep. But, honestly, I'm not angry at her - she can't control when she falls asleep any more than you and I can directly control that. I'm angry that I feel obligated to do something I don't want to do, but that obligation is entirely of my own makings. As is yours. So, take a deep breath, change your choice if the current one is that horrible, or appreciate what you do have - time with your son and physical contact.
Whatever you do, be CONSISTENT. Don't change up strategy on how you are dealing with him and what you expect of him midstream. Maybe he's not going to nap any more, but you can expect quiet time. Maybe you move his nap back (my daughter did this around 2yrs, I think - moved from 1-2:30pm to 2:30-4:00pm.).
I wish you luck finding an approach that works for everyone.