TTCAL#2 - fears about PAL#2

SharonB222 · January 2013

I was understandably cautious about PALg#1 - after 5 pg losses I was numb, but did enjoy my pg for a whopping 1 week. So now 2 years later after a successful PAL#1, I figured I'd be optimistic to try again ---- but as I am scheduling another FET I find myself fearful ... afraid there's something wrong with our frozen embryo and we shouldn't transfer it... afraid that it is intution or foresight rather than irrational "protective" doubts. Anyone have a tough go of TTCAL#2 initially but then lightened up? I'll try redirecting my thoughts to postive facts rather than negative uncertainties. Anyone enjoy PAL#2 more or less than PAL#1?

Wishing us a joyous 2013.

samm1983 · January 2013

I asked a sort of similar question below....It's about TTC #2 AL anyway. Some of the replies might help you.

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/70971459.aspx

GL!

butterflynola · January 2013

I was really anxious and worried throughout my entire pregnancy with our son, but all worked out fine so I was *hoping* that when we try for #2 it would be different, but it isn't. I'm scared and nervous. I don't know that that AL mentality ever goes away. GL to you! Hopefully your transfer goes perfect!

Junebug060609 · January 2013

When we first started TTC#2 I was actually optimistic. A big part of me wanted to believe the doctors that the first m/c was a one time fluke thing and that DS being here was proof of that. We got pg a few months after AF returned and that pregnancy was really refreshing while it lasted. I was optimistic, something I never really was with DS's pregnancy. Cautiously optimistic, but still it was a step in the right direction. Unfortunately, that pregnancy didn't work out...so now the worries are worse than they were pre-DS. So incredibly thankful he is here to show me there is hope. Those that had multiple losses before a take home baby amaze me even more now.

I think your fears are normal. TTC again means opening ourselves up to the hurt again

VeilSdeGTO · January 2013

Unfortunately, some of the fears don't really go away. I. Found out about my BFP in a different way but didn't even tell DH because part of me said to see how it will go for a few days.

I was right and ended in a CP. depending on your loss history, it is different for everyone.

Some people have way less fear since the anxiety comes from never being a mom to a live baby, therefore 2 was less stressful.

Some have had multiple early losses and passing those milestones is the difficult part. Others have IF issues so just going through the process of having 2 is hard.

I wish you the best of luck TTCAL 2.

SharonB222 · January 2013

shmeell25, thank you for the encouragement and comfort. Congrats on your infant DD!

samm1983, thank you for the related responses. Wishing your TTC#2 is gentler.

autumnmh1, I hope we have sticky BFPs soon and that even if the AL mentality doesn't go away we have some relief...

Junebug, exactly: vulnerable again. Yes, it might not be easy, but there is hope.

VeilSdeGTO, I'm in the group you mentioned: HUGE relief I have 1, so TTC#2 was supposed to be less stressful. I guess it will be overall, but I'm surprised it's more stressful initially than I thought. Thanks for the luck. FX for you.

julesjb · January 2013

I'm about 14 weeks with 2pregnancy 4 and I am no where near as anxious and worked up as I was with DS. There are times I almost feel like I'm jinxing myself for being relaxed. I worried on the beginning a lot and did the constant checks but have really relaxed into it. I wish the same for you, it's not easy and I hope you are blessed again!

happyhoopla · January 2013

For me it was kind of a mixed bag. On one hand, knowing that my body could support a pregnancy and grow a healthy baby (after 5 losses) was very reassuring. Plus, with DD#1 running around, I honestly was just too darn busy to spend as much time worrying. Big Smile On the other hand, I think already having a little one made me really know exactly what was at stake. Of course my losses hurt and I had mourned each one, but until I experienced that love for my daughter, I don't think I fully comprehended exactly what I had lost. The fear of another loss after having her was definitely different than it was prior.

Having a loss history, we'll never be able to be blissfully unaware of what can happen. I will say that with my second pregnancy, I tried to just be more in the moment. It went by so fast and I knew that I would miss out if I worried the whole time.

luvmyducks · January 2013

It's weird for me. With DD I bonded right away and loved her so much. But I was a wreck the whole pg thinking I would lose her. This time around I have not bonded like I did with DD but I'm not really PgAL scared.

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