Husband seeming kind of down... — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

Husband seeming kind of down...

My husband has been showing signs of PPD. When he looks at the boys, he always looks like he's going to cry. He has been screaming at our two cats a lot more than he used to. He has trouble soothing the boys and I can tell he feels bad that they're calmer when I hold them (obviously because I have the boobs). He just doesn't seem to be taking joy in the small moments like I am.

It's really hard not to get frustrated because the last thing I need to be doing right now is taking care of him, but I love him and I'm worried about him. He's not totally denying being upset, but if I express too much concern he just seems to get more sad/frustrated. I'm also starting to worry about how he's looking to my mom. I don't want her (or anyone else) to judge him because he's having a hard time.

Any ideas? Similar experience?

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Re: Husband seeming kind of down...

  • It's really common for Dad's to experience depression after the birth of new babies! Everything in his life has changed too. Sometimes I think Dad's have it even harder because they lack the natural parenting instinct that we have. You might want to talk to him about seeing a psychiatrist, counselor, or a doctor. Even offer to go along with him! You guys will get through it! :) 
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  • I agree. It was really a huge adjustment for me & my husband. I developed PPD & he had a lot to deal with. He was gone 50+ hours a week. I had to remind myself a lot that he is going through a lot of changes too. I know he would have loved to be around her more. We even talked about getting divorced because we stopped communicating with each other. My husband also had zero experience with babies but now he is much more involved. also he felt I was nitpicking him if tried to give him advice on how to hold her, feed her... as mothers it all comes so natural to us, but for some men it just takes a little longer. My husband is NO superdad but he tries and he will get the hang of it (even if it takes 10 months to get him to give a bath....)

     I agree it would help to talk to him about talking to a counselor. I brought my husband to one of my counseling session & it helped a lot. he could even get some advice from friends or co-workers. after my husband opend up he found out so many people we knew went through similar situations when they had children. Now that our DD is 11 months old we are getting along so much better! it will get better.

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  • My hubby is going through the same thing.  He also can't stand the baby crying and has an anxiety attack most times when he can't figure out what baby needs.  It's sad to see him so frustrated.  I'm currently trying to get him into counselling ASAP.  We are 5 weeks post patrum and I don't want to wait much longer.

     I guess I don't have any advice yet....just wanted to say you're not alone. 

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