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March 2013 Moms
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Shower question

BabeNumberOneBabeNumberOne member
in March 2013 Moms
My 2nd cousin and her daughter are hosting a shower with the slight help of my mom. Really all my mom is doing is providing a location and drinks. I am very thankful for this. When they asked me to pull together an invite list we have a rather large family so that was 25 women right there, but they knew we would be inviting all of them. My mom had 6 friends that she added to list and I felt kind of bad so I only add 7 of my closest friends, so the size would not get out of hand. Well my DH thought it would be nice if we also included his mom... we really do not have a good relationship at all, she thinks that I should have immediately had the same relationship with her as I do with my own mom... Really she is off her rocker and blew up at me about how I act differently towards my mom about a year ago... My mom is my best friend and of course we are extremely close and my MIL is just not anything like my mom sorry digressing. So anyways when my husband asked his mom if she would want to be invited she through a hug fit about going by herself... I told my husband it was fine if she did not want to come not a big deal. my family all thinks she is odd anyways well then she through a fit that she wanted to come but not by herself ... She wanted to bring my FIL, I said that it was an all ladies shower so that was not an option. So then she came up with the great idea to invite like 2 other women from that my DH's family. I checked with my second cousin if it would be okay and they were fine with it so we added them to the list. Well when the list came from my MIL she included 6 people... Ugh! Then she calls today... Invitations all went out this morning and now she wants to add 3 of her friends.. I said no way at first, my husband thinks his mom should be allowed to add these people. I think if she had all these people to invite she should have thrown her own she lives 3 hrs away anyways. Ugh I am frustrated to even ask if these 3 people can be added... What do you all think? Should I just ask my cousin, my mom thinks it is fine if they came but she thought it would be frustrating for my cousin to send out another 3 invitations?
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Re: Shower question

  • cbb722cbb722 member
    I am a total sucker, I would probably just cave and send the additional 3 invites just to keep the peace. MILs can be a sticky situation but I just know that I love my husband and I would want him to feel as if his family was acknowledged too. 
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  • caladpi02caladpi02 member
    I think it depends on what your hostesses are comfortable with. It is one thing to invite DH's family and another to invite her friends.
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  • luvsdogs2luvsdogs2 member
    I would call the 2nd cousin, explain what's going on, and warn her your sending MIL her way, and she can handle it however she sees fit, doesn't bother you at all.  Then I would tell MIL, "I'm sorry, the invites went out, and I'm not throwing this party, _______ is.  You'll have to call her and ask her.  She's throwing it for me, at this point it is not my place to ask for more."  I'm sure your cousin won't mind telling her no if she doesn't want to invite anymore.  She probably doesn't know this lady from Adam, what does she care if she pis$es her off.
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  • wittyschaffywittyschaffy member
    imageluvsdogs2:
    I would call the 2nd cousin, explain what's going on, and warn her your sending MIL her way, and she can handle it however she sees fit, doesn't bother you at all.  Then I would tell MIL, "I'm sorry, the invites went out, and I'm not throwing this party, _______ is.  You'll have to call her and ask her.  She's throwing it for me, at this point it is not my place to ask for more."  I'm sure your cousin won't mind telling her no if she doesn't want to invite anymore.  She probably doesn't know this lady from Adam, what does she care if she pis$es her off.
    Yep. This.
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  • CinPittCinPitt

    imagewittyschaffy:
    imageluvsdogs2:
    I would call the 2nd cousin, explain what's going on, and warn her your sending MIL her way, and she can handle it however she sees fit, doesn't bother you at all.  Then I would tell MIL, "I'm sorry, the invites went out, and I'm not throwing this party, _______ is.  You'll have to call her and ask her.  She's throwing it for me, at this point it is not my place to ask for more."  I'm sure your cousin won't mind telling her no if she doesn't want to invite anymore.  She probably doesn't know this lady from Adam, what does she care if she pis$es her off.
    Yep. This.

     

    i also agree 

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  • jdveatchjdveatch member

    My shower list kept getting late additions, as well.  (but not due to my MIL)  Anyway, friends advised that it's better to include people than to risk hurt feelings.  Besides, you'll get more things for your sweet baby!  Chances are they won't all come anyway.  If your cousin is ok with it, I'd just invite them. 

     

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  • BabeNumberOneBabeNumberOne member
    I would not wish my MIL having to talk to them on anyone, my MIL flips out easily and rudely surely not someone who is being so gracious to throw us a shower. I think to try to keep the peace it is just best to let her bring her friends, my mom thought it was fine to add them to the guest list and just not send them a formal invitation just let my MIL do a verbal one. Might not be the most correct thing but really the only person on the initial list was my MIL not the 10 people she added. btw MIL did not want to have a shower for us at all because she thought a wedding shower was too much effort when she did that... Now she invites all these people to a party she is not the host of..ugh Sorry I am venting, she just makes me so frustrated!
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  • MrsKeene12MrsKeene12
    Only one shower is being held for me, at my mothers house. The invite list included my family, DH's family and friends of both families. Over 60 females. We live close to both our parents/and all get along really well. Two or three to the list probably won't bother the hostess. If it is too much and all of your MIL's friends and family live several hours away also, she should host a shower too. There could be more she could add to the list. Have DH talk to her.
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