How do you have a shower from another state?

stephaniejh80 · January 2013

My husband and I just moved to Texas, but all our friends and family live in NY and NJ. My doctor doesn't want me to fly after 25 weeks (I am a little on the high risk side) and I feel like that's too early for a shower. My best friend is thinking of throwing me a "virtual shower" - just letting people know I'm pregnant, when my due date is and where I'm registered. I have a friend here in TX throwing me a tiny shower, but I don't want my family to come before the baby is born. I would rather they visit when he's here. I want to give my friends and family the opportunity to send gifts for the baby if they want, and it's our first baby so we do need a lot of stuff. What's the least tacky way to handle this? Thank you for your help!

1026pumpkin · January 2013

stephaniejh80:
My husband and I just moved to Texas, but all our friends and family live in NY and NJ. My doctor doesn't want me to fly after 25 weeks (I am a little on the high risk side) and I feel like that's too early for a shower. My best friend is thinking of throwing me a "virtual shower" - just letting people know I'm pregnant, when my due date is and where I'm registered. I have a friend here in TX throwing me a tiny shower, but I don't want my family to come before the baby is born. I would rather they visit when he's here. I want to give my friends and family the opportunity to send gifts for the baby if they want, and it's our first baby so we do need a lot of stuff. What's the least tacky way to handle this? Thank you for your help!

I think virtual showers are pretty silly. I think of anyone out of town wants to buy something for the baby, they can just send you something off your registry- just include your mailing address when you register. If someone from NY/NJ offers you a shower, just let them know you can't travel after 25 weeks, so it will either need to be before then or you'd be happy to have them come visit after the baby is here.

Disneygeek77 · January 2013

Ok, I am going to be completely honest with you. I think the virtual or skype showers are dumb and if someone plans on giving you a gift, they will give you a gift. They don't need a "Hey, she's pregnant and this is where she is registered "reminder. "

Do you plan on returning to NJ or NY once the baby is born? Maybe your family can wait until then to throw you a shower.

Wish82 · January 2013

I live in VA, a close friend lives in MN. When she had her baby, I had no problem figuring out where she was registered and sending a gift. Virtual showers tend to be gift grabby as that's all there is to it. Those people who want to send gifts will, regardless. No virtual shower necessary, although your friend's thought is very sweet.

EastCoastBride · January 2013

discobelle:
Let people send gifts on their own accord. No need to send them an invitation to anything "virtual".

This. You don't need to "give them the opportunity" to give you something. They'll do it on their own it if they want.

mben1119 · January 2013

stephaniejh80:
My husband and I just moved to Texas, but all our friends and family live in NY and NJ. My doctor doesn't want me to fly after 25 weeks (I am a little on the high risk side) and I feel like that's too early for a shower. My best friend is thinking of throwing me a "virtual shower" - just letting people know I'm pregnant, when my due date is and where I'm registered. I have a friend here in TX throwing me a tiny shower, but I don't want my family to come before the baby is born. I would rather they visit when he's here. I want to give my friends and family the opportunity to send gifts for the baby if they want, and it's our first baby so we do need a lot of stuff. What's the least tacky way to handle this? Thank you for your help!

That isn't anyone else's problem. That is something for you and your husband to do something about. Your kid, you buy everything it needs. If people send you gifts on their own, great, but you should never expect something from someone.

Liz4444 · January 2013

You don't have to give people the opportunity to buy you things. People are smarter then you give them credit for, if they want to know where you are registered, they will ask, if they want to send a gift, they will.

We are seeing gimmes at their finest lately. OP, buy your own stuff.

Helenahhandbasket · January 2013

You have two choices here, I think.

1) Have a shower a bit earlier than 25 weeks. Yes, it's a bit early, but if your doctor really doesn't want you to fly after that, I am sure friends and family will understand.

2) Don't have a shower at all.

I wouldn't do the virtual thing. It's basically saying, SEND ME THINGS, which I am sure people will want to do for you any way.

Good luck!

rhubarb123 · January 2013

Please do not have a virtual shower...they are tacky. The only way I would participate in one is if the MTB or her DH is in the military and stationed in another country...and even then it is iffy.

Have your "tiny" shower there in Texas and then when you think your ready have a "Meet the Baby Party" when everyone gets to see your little guy (whether it is in Texas or NY/NJ). Your family will send you gifts regardless of whether or not you have a shower. Is your mom coming for the birth? If so and she lets people know she is going to Texas they might give her gifts to bring with her. I did that with a couple of people I knew who were having their babies overseas. The mom's were happy to take the gifts.

tilsonc · January 2013

You should have the shower early if you want one in NY/NJ. My friend's family hosted a gender reveal shower for her and it was pretty early (around the same time as you). It was fine and everyone understood she lived across the country.

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How do you have a shower from another state?

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