HELP! Fighting to keep the pets

melissa.ei · January 2013

We have two labs and a orange tabby cat, and while the labs are staying, no question, my hubby is fighting the cause to have the cat removed! He doesn't care for the cat anyways, but I love the cat! He is a bit unpredictable and has some wild in him (literally - he's part Ocelot), but he has tamed out as the years go on and I have such a soft spot for him. He is indoor/outdoor and still has his claws. My hubby has said that an option would be to declaw him and we could keep him, but I know that can be considered cruel (especially to a cat who loves to hunt and be outdoors). HELP! Should we get him declawed? Should I give him up? I don't think anyone will want him because he can be a brat and no one will understand him like I do (ok ok, I sound like a crazy cat lady, I'm really not!). I keep being told that the baby will change everything, and of course I want to have the best protection for my baby, but I also can't even think about letting the cat go!!

jamiedsgirl · January 2013

There are many alternatives to declawing, such as soft paws. Declawing a cat is a really, really bad idea. It is basically amputation of a portion of their fingers. Additionally, declawing an older cat can lead to drastic behavior changes. It is incredibly cruel. Furthermore, if your cat spends time outside, he really needs his claws (without something like soft paws).

I don't know your cat, but we had a cat with claws and he was fine around the baby. He never scratched.

I don't see why you have to give up your cat from your post.

melissa.ei · January 2013

More on the cat: I guess it is his unpredictability that makes him scary to all around a baby. He will be purring and loving one second and the next, he'll be clawing and biting your hand. If you don't know him and his looks and tendencies like I do, you will and can get hurt by him. He can just be tempermental, which is why everyone is worried about him. He isn't good with kids (I have nieces and nephews) as he doesn't tolerate being bothered. He has scratched my nephew in the face before when my nephew was really young. (The cat was under a dresser and my nephew was lying on his stomach trying to get the cat, but still...).

CBomback · January 2013

We are having a similar issue with our grey tabby (who is declawed in the front). He's almost 12yo, I've had him since college. Unfortunately, two years ago he decided he likes to use our bed as his litterbox, so he is not allowed in our bedroom anymore, and he cries like a baby all night and bangs on the door (after 2 years already!). DH is worried that he is going to wake the baby, but I can't imagine giving him away. He has some behavioral issues, but he's part of the family! I've heard of other families getting rid of their cats because their behavior gets worse when baby comes home, but I really cannot imagine ever doing this myself. I am hoping that he mellows out...

mhickey426 · January 2013

having him declawed could make him way worse. They do have these tips you can get put onto his claws but it is something you have to keep up with and get redone.

I think you should give it a chance. It is not like the cat and newborn are going to be playing. Your large dogs are just as likely to hurt the baby as the cat. Any time you have a child and animal you have to be careful. I would give the cat a chance and see what happens.

melissa.ei · January 2013

Thank you!! Great perspective. I feel that at this point, we should wait and see - if there are issues (and hopefully we don't learn any HORRIBLE lessons) then we will consider alternatives with the cat. Good luck to you!

Kota26 · January 2013

I have to agree the declawing would not be fair- especially if he is partly an outdoor cat. He would not be able to defend himself against predators or catch food (if he does at all).

I worked at a veterinary technician for a few years while in school and the vets would try to convince people to keep theirs cats if a new baby was on the way. Rarely do cats go looking for trouble- they avoid it at all costs. This holds true with babies...they generally slink and hide from babies and toddlers. Unless the baby will be in true danger I would try to keep your 4 legged bratt Smile

DH and I are not looking forward to the DRAMA that our parrot is going to cause. It will be the equivalent of a 2 year old demanding all of the love and attention he feels he is entitled to when another baby comes along.

jvaeth2012 · January 2013

Ok just another Point of View.

Is declawing a cat really the worst thing in the world?? NOPE.

I work in a veterinary office and this is just my PERSONAL OPINION. I have this view because I have seen way to many cats be taken to shelters or just dumped. If the decision of keeping the cat comes down to having him declawed, I say do it. I have seen clients that are heart broken over the decision to have to have them declawed or get rid of them. Most chose to declaw. I've been in this profession for 15 years and have never seen a cats behavior get worse after declawing. Of course if you have to have it done then you also have to make sure that he stays inside.

Also I can understand the concerns that your DH has. Cats are very emotional animals and just becoming pregnant and having a baby can sometimes cause them to have all kinds of bad behavior. Especially if he has already displayed some. What we recommend is that you give it a try just the way things are. If he starts causing problems once the baby gets here then you make adjustments. I am all for keeping fur babies with their families even if it means that you have to take some serious measures like declawing.

lightgetsin · January 2013

I would get rid of the cat. If anything happens to the baby how will you feel. In my world, humans come before animals....especially humans that I am in charge of protecting.

keg · January 2013

Kota26:

Rarely do cats go looking for trouble- they avoid it at all costs. This holds true with babies...they generally slink and hide from babies and toddlers. Unless the baby will be in true danger I would try to keep your 4 legged bratt

Honestly, this is pretty much what my cats have done. We had 3 cats when DDs were born and they just ignored the babies. (I had one in particular that LOVED the baby gear, but only when the babies weren't in it. :-) We're down to 2 cats now, but they generally ignore DDs and DDs don't bother them much. I wouldn't do anything at this point about your cat. You're not likely to leave the cat and your LO together unsupervised, so why invent potential problems that may not materialize? Just keep an eye on things and if issues do happen, address it then.

rm2013 · January 2013

The biggest thing that stood out to me in the original post that most responses seem to be missing is that this is NOT a regular housecat. According to OP it is part ocelot, which is a PREDATORY WILD ANIMAL. OP mentioned she has pretty much tamed it but that it can still be unpredictable with little warning and will bite/claw when provoked. Under no circumstances would I be okay with that uncertainty around a baby, or especially a toddler as they start to chase after and hit pets. We have 4 dogs and so I understand the attachment to your pets, and i have also kept a small wild animal as a pet in the past. but in my opinion keeping a part wild cat with a baby is just too dangerous.

ninambutler · January 2013

I know how you feel. I have a dog who has a lot of anxiety and has some vey sporadic aggressive tendencies when he is afraid. I am so scared about what will happen when the baby is here but I just can't give him up. He is literally like a child to me and like you said, no one will understand them like we do! I just can't imagine him being in an environment without me and being okay. I wish I had some advice, but I can only commiserate!

ninambutler · January 2013

melissa.ei:
More on the cat: I guess it is his unpredictability that makes him scary to all around a baby. He will be purring and loving one second and the next, he'll be clawing and biting your hand. If you don't know him and his looks and tendencies like I do, you will and can get hurt by him. He can just be tempermental, which is why everyone is worried about him. He isn't good with kids I have nieces and nephews as he doesn't tolerate being bothered. He has scratched my nephew in the face before when my nephew was really young. The cat was under a dresser and my nephew was lying on his stomach trying to get the cat, but still....

Just read this second post. My dog is the same!! Only I know him and am able to tell when he is getting stressed and is going to bite. Other people just don't get it.

Abeja1226 · January 2013

They usually won't declaw a cat older than 1, it's dangerous. We got the soft paws for my cat, I ordered them on amazon and surprisingly, they weren't that hard to put on and they actually stayed on for weeks and did not hurt if she swatted us! I don't think that would help an outdoor cat protect itself though, that's the only thing.

Licia&Wayne · January 2013

I'm just curious to know, if you do decide to rehome the cat, who would take it? And what happens if no one takes it?

I'm in the wait and see camp. You really don't know how he's going to react. He may be totally fine with a baby around. But, I think you should also start putting out feelers to see if you know anyone who could take him, or if there are organizations around you that could give him a forever home.

I wouldn't look at declawing just because he is older and goes outside. PP is correct. Declawing later in a cat's life can create major behavioral problems, as well as phantom pains for the cat.

I hope you don't have to rehome him. It's always sad when it comes to that for a pet when your lives and needs just aren't compatible anymore, but I probably wouldn't pull the trigger just yet.

granolaok · January 2013

Wait and see how it goes! And manage your expectations. Cats and babies don't mix well, period, but they can definitely coexist peacefully. The important thing is to supervise carefully and train both the cat and the baby in appropriate behavior from the very beginning. My son is only 19 months but he is SO gentle with our cat because we've been working with him on appropriate ways to interact with the cat since he was only 5 or 6 months or so. He knows how to pet gently, not pull the cat's tail, etc. And the cat has learned to avoid him, for the most part, so that helps too. Our cat is also indoor/outdoor so we are super careful about shots and meds, which makes me feel better having him around little kids.

Don't assume the worst though, he really might surprise you. Just make sure you keep giving lots of attention and let him know he's still important to you.

brachysira · January 2013

I think you have to stand up and keep the cat--once you get a pet, you can't really just send it to a shelter because you don't want it anymore. Maybe you could go on the Cat From Hell for some help. I have used soft claws and they work great, even on older cats. My vet also told me that claws did nothing for outside pets and that teeth were what they used for defense, so declawing if you have to would certainly be better than discarding the cat. In general, having outdoor cats is worse for your cat and the environment (resulting in endangered bird populations) so I would rethink this for future cats if not this one.

love joy peace · January 2013

Declawing is illegal in many countries and places. I would not do that unless the cat's alternative would be getting put down.

5dogs · January 2013

You don't mention the percentage of Ocelot in him... is he neutered? You should be trimming his claws long before you decide to declaw him (not only that, but 11 years in rescue has taught me that aggressive declawed cats turn to biting instead of scratching).

That said, we brought DD home with five cats. Four of the five were scared to death of her, and the fifth (our big 18lb tom) was facinated with her but never bothered her. I never was concerned and DD has grown up with a healthy respect for the cats and our dogs.

mab87 · January 2013

What if you try to role play with him and see how he reacts. I know this might sound weird but wash a couple of baby blankets in Dreft or whatever you are choosing to use for the baby's clothes. Let him get used to the smell. Also maybe even carrying around a baby doll in some of the baby's clothes will help him get acclimated before the baby arrives. Good Luck!

JRod21 · January 2013

They have caps you can put on his nails that will protect from scratching. I would also invest in some cat trees and perches for him. Give him his own play area. If hes stimulated by other things he might not get caught up in the baby. Also, the have scat mats or sensors that u can place anywhere the baby will be, which will send a signal to him to go away. Can place one in babys room and place a mat near the baby. I think as long as you supervise him around the baby ( which i dont anyone who wouldnt anyways) you should be ok. Good luck!

nyki06 · January 2013

I wasn't sure how our dog would respond to a baby since he is really hyper and loves attention. She is now 21 months and he has pretty much tried to peacefully ignore her her whole life, which is the opposite of what I expected.

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